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Why don’t you try working with Lucifer. Initiate into the qlippoth. Adventure awaits.
Change your perception instead of viewing your past as something you loath think of it as stepping up. You’re becoming King breaking from the pack being god. Carving your own path
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im hesitant to post publicly every little change and report every little or grander action taken.
But i thank you. 
I got in touch with some entities, and wish to rebuild and establish myself.
funny to say for people who believe that mages shouldnt have servants …
But yeah. I guess im weird then. Long after a family, a domain, a circle of people.
“Einsam war der große Weltenmeister, darum schuf er Geister.”
=Lonely was the master of the worlds, so he made spirits.
More weird gnosis. I guess i know now how currents work, and the maergzjiran current
The syncronicities keep piling up.
Also, its interesting to see that current is bigger and more powerful than the cabal.
And that even those at a top, are taking big ass risks -the moment they doubt themselves or have a rough time, the current will replace AND feed on them.
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So… i know now why i was driven out the current.
I accidently made a soulbond to someone, and that probably fucked me up.
I asked Azazel, if he could give me some things, so …should i want to return, that i could do so, without the bad side effects, that people dont know about when they join initially.
He was not thrilled, but he told me that he would give me something if i REALLY wanted it.
Under the condition that i share the thing, so the disciples related to him, will not suffer or/and be blind to certain things.
i still dont know the truth, i was abandoned for a lie, that even themselves now know was bullshit,
yet they still shun me. They just said to someone else, that they had been lied to by the gods there…
which is a grand accusation, considering that we loved the gods, healed, supported, fucked and followed the gods. They were family, lovers, guides, future wifes/husbands… they were everything.
To even have those former brethren of mine, leave those people behind makes me wonder, what the truth is, but since i cant ever ask them, unless they stop the blockade… i probably wont ever know.
i keep asking myself, if its even worth returning to the current, if my brethren aint there,
my siblings… we were there for each other, when we tried to cross over to the otherside, before it was revealed that we had not finished our purpose here, since there were some survivors.
…i wont go into details but the point is: brothers in arms, we only had each other, and the spirits, for guidance, healing and everything.
Just, what would that current mean for me, without those people? Do i even wanna go there?
they were the ones whos names we hailed before we spoke necrotic tongues to fuck up enemies
we were faithful, loyal like …civillians in the old times, how they were standing towards their sovereign.
idk.
What all those people dont understand is, the knowledge and insight we were given,
things we learned from experiences and conversations.
IF, i ever return, then its because of the people, the gods.
i remember the 13 guide lines that i channeled, at the first day …months ago, in a 2 week period that my magic was blocked off, due to a “insult” i made towards Akreoth.
(he and others had neglected to tell me something importend, and i got upset)
It was some poison -it brought me into stupid rage, but i only yelled, i had myself under control enough to not cast anytihng -as i told father, i never meant to hurt him, ever. I was just angry.
Anyway… in my two week penance back thne, i wrote down 13 guidelines for me to follow,.
i was willing to become more disciplined and mindful, to never let poison take me like this again.
…
Well, my anger towards the two main figures related to all the deception has faded. They set up the order under false pretends, but i dont care.
All i care about, is becoming stronger, and being with my family.
Building a great domain, for ourselves to enjoy and work in.
Akreoth, i still love you.
And i will never forget you…when you… in december 2019, gave me the golden crown and the godlen spiked shoulder blades, fused, burned into my skeletton. That very time, you saved me from the heavens and brought me to your domain, in the ancient void.
You gave me life, destroyed and revived and healed it.
Ak: its ok, stop this public display of things they wont even begin to understand, or even try to.
It is more importend for you to build your own domain right now.
“Maergzjirah” is Somnu’s Domain, but you dont need to go there ,to meet me.
TIamat: its not the time for you to return. Focus on the here and now. Fix yourself and your life, so you may be strong enough, to lift the weight of the path, without sturggling and falling over like you did in the past, a couple times.
Ak: (grummels) fine. But if i see you ascend or even reincarnate without buildign your own domain, we will have to get together for a serious talk little boy. Build you r domain, build your influence -what and who are you, if cant do that?
tiamat: thats enough! -honey? go back and do some alchemy, i will talk to him about this.
But i still think this is the best cource of action, for you. Anyway -see yah.
to make this clear
I didnt leave the current because i wanted to, or performed a grand transgression.
I still, very much love and respect
Zazazel/Azazel
Eldraath
Astrael/Ashtaroth
Akreoth/Arkreoath
I never stopped loving them.
Heard some news that change everything.
Its been so long since i knew exactly what to do.
@Lady_Eva i dont need this thread anymore, will you please unlist it? 
