So a few days ago I tried to overdose and kill myself. Don’t know how the hell I’m still alive.Just had enough of life. After I got discharged from the psychiatric hospital or whatever it is, I came back to high school.
The weeks been rough thus far. But this topic isnt really about my failed suicide.
When I went outside to get on the bus a few kids were huddled around in a circle laughing at something on the ground. I went over to them to see what was up and saw that they were laughing at a moth and daring eachother to touch him.
A few of them were stepping on him. They tore his wings up badly. They are ripped so all he can do is crawl.
So I picked him up, despite the odd looks i received I took him home with me. I get that I should probably put him out of his misery but I feel bad for him. Dont have the heart to kill him.
So I’m just gonna take care of him until he eventually dies. He seems pretty chill with me. Has had a grip on my sweater all day. Can’t move him without him freaking out.
There was a YT video of a woman who found a bee with defective wings on a plant and kept until it died. They understand when you do them a kindness, just as anything else does.
@anon95495734 First off I love that story. Second I have a story for you.
Moths and butterflies have long had associations with being messengers from the spirit world. Moths in particular have very strong resonance with the moon and night. And are often sent to us when we need to reflect on our life and path, and how our life mimics what is going on inside of us.
Moths/butterflies start as ugly little grubs, and then through the power of their own hidden nature, become something beautiful and awe inspiring.
Your little moth is a reflection of you. It was being tormented and tortured and mocked by forces outside of it’s control, and would have died if not for the intervention of a force greater then itself. (you) You attempted suicide, because of the tortures of life, the seeming collusion of all the universes forces conspiring against you. But you came out of it alive, when those forces had you dead to rights. I can only call that spiritual intervention. And looking at the life of your little friend, I would think it was also an invitation for you to start connecting in earnest with the spirit world. (I’m leaning very strongly toward a lunar entity, at least that is what my intuition says) And with the help of spirit you can transform from the grub into something of magnificence
I would also like to extend an invitation to you. I have struggled with severe depression my entire life. For roughly 25 years of my life, I thought about suicide EVERY DAY. I have largely been able to conquer it. Though there will always be the scar of it’s effects on my life. If you ever need support, or someone to talk to. PM me.
I too have tried to commit suicide and was depressed for a while on and off man. Im glad you found that little guy!
It’s funny when i think of moths it’s like, “well at least it’s not a mosquito” when their in my room lol. Whatever you going through will pass man and there’s always a solution. Keep your chin up =))
Thanks for sharing your story Fenris, that was touching. I was in a pretty dark place for a while, where I was surrounded by people I hated, and people who tend to judge and shun those like us (I generally keep my occult practices a secret, but I can come off as a bit odd when I let my mask down).
I asked Lucifer to help me make some new friends, people who I could actually trust, and who would appreciate me for who I actually am. It took some time, but I wound up meeting some great people through unexpected coincidences, and reuniting with some cool people I had known before.
I also asked him to punish those who had wronged me, and to get them the hell away from me, which he did.
Just thought I’d share a little of my own story, too. You’re not alone when you’re here, friend. I think that moth may be drawn to the Light it senses within you.
(I’m also available for a PM anytime you feel like talking about stuff )
I can relate to your story, as something similar happened to me before
I cared for my little friend, and much older I begun to understand it’s wisdom
Moths are spirits with the power of the whirlwind (something you should discover by yourself if you want to) they also teaches you how to find light in the dark (so you can avoid suicidal attempts) also moving in darkness, transformation, and wisdom to confuse enemies.
One of the most beautiful topics I have read on this forum so far.
Your story touched my heart.
We all have been through difficult times, giving our own personal.fights.
For me personally even my connection with the occult is a way to find the truth and cross new paths to get through such difficult situations / times.
Please keep that in a corner of your mind: You are not alone. If you ever feel like talking to someone you can PM me. I will be glad to read you and discuss whatever you want.
Keep a journal. Start a blog. Start to write out your feelings. I talk to myself in my car. I say simple mantras like, ‘i love myself’. I forgive myself. I feel good about myself."
Over and over.
I also scream into a pillow helps. Just get it out.
Please take a look at my thread. It as a lot of my own stuff that as help me over the years.
I am sorry to hear that your moth died. Perhaps, you gave it some comfort in the end, and prevented it from coming back as, say, a man eating critter to take its vengeance upon those who did such to a harmless creature.
That was an attempt at levity. If you did not find it funny, please take no offence. I was trying to lighten the mood.
Yeah. I tried to do what I could for her, it was good while it lasted tho. Was fun to walk around with her on my shoulder and show her to a few of my friends. Cant begin to tell how many weird looks I got from people lol.
I have been there. There was once I went an entire spring with a pet caterpillar that turned into a beautiful Luna Moth. It and I would go all sorts of places, and I fed it different leaves (Come ti think of it, I am surprised it didm´t die because I didm´t even think about pesticides at the time), and when it when into it´s chrysalis, I carried the jar with me everywhere. I had to fight not to help it out of the chrysalis because it looked like it was having trouble (but that is apparently how they strengthen their hearts in preparation for all the flying)
Ah memories of my youth. Thank you for that, @anon95495734.
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