Funny how the simplest things are so hard. The ego is so enormous that it will not allow me to simply connect with demons. With each meditation that I reach out I hear popping feel things internally… Today while reaching out to Vine my left ear which has been removed several times starts popping… My thoughts go to are they cleaning house so that they can sit comfortably.
I am going to use this video
- YouTube
Welcoming Demons
my idea of how I am evoking demons. Getting in the mood to call upon King Vine.
Ella Fitzgerald - Louis Armstrong "Dream a Little Dream of me" - YouTube
and this is what King Lucifer does to me…
My grandmother loved Eartha…
and this sums up my Journey to date
Its Valentines day. i baked cookies for my boys - theres one at the alter, one for the ancestors and I cant forget the Ravens.
I cannot remember any real significance of my dreams.
I did wake up a few times once at 2:40 am I decided to practice on my phys. vampire skills- I cant tell you if they are working but I do sleep solidly afterwards. I like the Idea that I am sucking the fucking life out of someone who had made it their hobby to fuck my life up.
Whats funny is I am not every girl- I am loyal beyond the grave. I love beyond the ring. I am going to curse you past you last pulse you screw with my family. These girls thought it was funny to send romantic cards , flowers and personalized clothing to my man. They felt the need to send him gifts so often that he had to get his own mail box. They even made him a personalized CD of their songs. Wait - and you met me and knew he was married. They poisoned his mind… and poisoned my heart. In the midst of this they really fucked up 3 years of my childrens lives… I cant take their pain away I cant take away the part where my youngest has attempted suicide - and thanks to my ancestors they pushed me out of the house to find him - just in time.
Oh back on track - sorry for the derailment
I get to meditate on Baal today. Oh I am so freakishly excited he was my 2nd demon to call on and I had the most amazing dreams- funny dreams but amazing. Since working with him last month my art work has improved and somehow folks are asking to buy my stuff… yes!
Mediated this Morning with Lucifer - I am grateful for his blessings on me. and funny thing is I was singing this song while getting everyone out the door
Bael Enn Video Just in time…
Bael Enn Chanting - YouTube
Going to work in and listening to this before I go into my mediation with him. 
my hidden in plain site alter to him.
^ That’s really clever. 
Thank you, I have several alters… My favorite is to Lord Lucifer, my Christian friends have no clue the meanings. However my first was to Duke Dantalion its a copper colored rock with Druzys and you can see a multitude of faces.
thinking of Latin: ex ni hilo ni hil fit- out of nothing comes nothing… I have always loved that phrase…
I found this site http://latindiscussion.com/forum/latin/words-of-anger-turn-to-dust-c.2271/
love the curse he is refering to.
and then here is another Spells in Latin - YouTube
Rough night- dreamt of animals.
Got up early lets suck some energy. Now to work.
Lots on my mind - Specialists appointments to make started looking up the conditions and decided nah… lets say fuck the system I dont want to fit into your diagnosis. Need to mediate soon.
King Beleth, wow, In meditation you came forward pissed I bothered you, I know I cant have everything but they should have something to cherish. I give you thanks for hearing me and coming forward.
Just realized that I have a mirror box with my Dead friend Ed, and a few folks that I did not want to bother me until I decided what to do with… Hummmm…
CLOSE - a word that is a real bummer… that was a close one… need to work on the aim. Beleth wow you are amazing.
now to do more research on my curse… I was so Close to success!
need to research trickster demons-
There I was again sleeping chanting Enns and I cannot remember who’s but there I was casting spells. Really wish I could recall which Demons enns and what spell I was casting. Does anyone else do this? It was pretty surreal since I was floating over myself watching myself in my sleep wear… Woke up at 2:30 worked on the Vamp. drain- I dont know if its working but then I took a dump… and did the oh so fun shit spell on that special friend… I shouild get TP with her face on it.
Talk about wild ideas-
Since a cemetery is socially off limits can I create my own? Say pull dirt from my dead friends- and add a place for them… I live near the woods so this would be easy to do and there is a place where ashes were spread. There is a marker already there. But I am so in love with the idea of placing curses in Shitters… I know where some old outhouses are and who is going to go place their head in a shitter? there you go to decompose…
Next thought a coffin box? I am thinking on placing the poppet in a pound of flesh ( precut storebought) and to add to it place them in a cement tomb. Oh now who shall I call on…
Since there is a group and they are all connected maybe I can bury them together - they can rot in misery together.
more research… more planning.
Just realized that Purson blessed me - Since evoking him and just touching his presence My art and craft have taken flight… Thank you King Purson!
here is his drawing I did when I was researching him…and here is my last work for Beleth-
Its hard to work magically but Create your own and enchant your pictures…
Here is Beliel and the wheel has his Enn while the side of the Chariot has his Sigil… I have fun chanting his Enn in public when I was working on his dedication.
And my favorite since I can take it with me … My Altoids tin Alter to Lord Lucifer… there is layers of symbols and his Sigil is behind the Golden Dragon under the printed paper. 
!
Another night of chanting and doing "works"
Mental note need to find out which Demon to call upon so I can recall more of my dreams.
Tried calling on Zagan, I may not be successful with him. Made notes I have his dedication done. Called on Balam, Very cool king- while in state I heard 2 gunshots in my head- or the fire place down stairs.
As I am working with the Kings I am finding that I am more disappointed with life. Dropped off my creations to a local store yesterday- I am hoping I get to keep that money for myself instead of having to hand it over to my self centered teen.
Does life seem so fucking desperate- I see the specialist in less than 2 weeks. This is the first time I have not told close friends and family what is going on.
