Why can’t I manifest a relationship?? I don’t focus on it I don’t get it, I focus on it, I don’t get it, I do everything spirits tell me I still don’t get it. Am I just not meant to ever be loved??
I don’t understand anymore, & I’ve meditated for hours & hours I’ve begged I’ve pleaded I’ve prayed I’ve done everything I’ve been patient for Y E A R S & still NOTHING!! My coven has told me visions they’ve seen in the astral & the energies they’ve all read between me & my interest in person & all said how close it looked to them (when we were in private)
Every time I get into someone I get hurt. Am I cursed?? Am I just unloveable?? is love not meant for me?? I don’t know anymore & I can’t stand this anymore
I want it to share my life with someone, make someone just as happy as I can be, & to help them throughout all endeavors. I truly only want it for pure intentions
I have asked how I could attract someone, how to better myself as a whole (because I know at the same time that being my pure self will attract my purest intent for my best in my life from career, to my singing, & finding my passions again but I digress)
I’ve gotten frustrated & asked what was wrong with me, what did I have to do to make myself a healthy partner, (turns out I was the entire time my ex just really messed me up & it was a giant thought form), I’ve gotten to the point several time’s even now where I just feel that it’s just a carrot on a stick for the universe to keep me doing it’s bidding with an empty promise & ive even asked about that. I’ve asked every question I could think of.
I’ve busted myself clearing my chakras & accepting millions if possibilities, even this one…but I had others even observe us last night & they all said it was boyfriend girlfriend energy…I just don’t understand why I never seem to get with someone. Just when I think something is going to happen & I tuck the feeling in gently as to not lust or jinx, I simply give gratitude & keep myself on my way, it all just 180s
Thank you for telling me more. I’m sorry there’s so much pain.
Questions are a powerful form of magick, that people often don’t think of as a form of magick. Seems the universe has been answering for you, although in a way you don’t understand or find pleasing.
The shortest thing I can say is that there’s nothing wrong with you, other than being consumed with your fears and insecurities.
Or — you hurt a lot, so much so hurt has soaked into your very identity (thinking something is wrong with you) — so let’s turn work on that first, shall we…
Here, go into trance, if you have a method, and try these two mantras…
“I Am Good”
Repeated until you FEEL IT
And
“I Am Love”
Same. Even an hour long session, maybe a little more, would be fine.
If you don’t know good trance inductions, then I’ll write one out for you, or even give you a guided meditation from YouTube you can use to start.
Next time I’m in my transformation books, I’ll look for some good spirits for you to call on, as well.
One that comes to mind immediately if Gavriel, Angel of Strength. You can do a daily exercise with Gavriel to help repair your self-image. A side effect is making you much more appealing. Please see “The Angels of Alchemy” by Damon Brand.
You have so much hurt, so many sharp edges around who you think you are, though, please do some self-transformation work before going for the jugular for attraction work. If you could, heal a bit first… things will go better if you do. When you get a girlfriend, after all, you’ll probably want to keep her awhile.
I feel this way because no one’s ever given me a reason to feel otherwise…I’ve tried these things, I’ve tried casting on myself for these things…I finally started feeling like I was breaking away from that feeling only to be shown to again. I feel this is just destiny for me because no matter what I’ve done to change, no matter how much work effort time healing whatever—it’s the same ending every time & yet I’m still the one that’s wrong…or still have even more to do. It’s like I’m running in a circle with a simple directive of finding a corner. It doesn’t work. There’s no corner in a circle…I’ve only ever been cheated on, used heavily, or just outright rejected far too many times to count. I’ve been beaten down so hard for so long that it HAS to be something wrong with jsut my being. Some products are just completely fucked with no hope & this world has done nothing to cooperate with me to make me feel otherwise no matter how much I believe it myself that I deserve better or that I’mhappy/love. I never felt valid in anything always berated It would be nice to be validated
I see from your profile, you are young. She was likely, too. I would likely just forgive her, and release both of you from that pain.
People aren’t perfect at 20. Even my neighbor at 84. He’s been married 50 years. He’s far from perfect. Their relationship has had their ups and downs. It’s taken them a lot of work. He says most people don’t see that.
Even though it’s obvious you need to heal your identity (you write almost like you’re on a bad acid trip, honestly), to some extent what other people do isn’t always about you, either. They’re just children learning how to be, too. Messups happen.
Some of this is generated from your own identity issues, but other parts are just generated by life and other people’s own growth paths. Sometimes life hurts. That’s not your fault. It literally happens to everyone.
There’s a lot of bad engineering in this “reality”. There’s lot of new “players” just learning their way, to boot. You can’t take the pains of the world so personally, or they’ll crush you.