Lost my self in power, chaos insued and i am both worse and better off because of it

My abilities started around 2018, at this point i was approached by azazel, he told me so much, taught me of the powers of mass manifestation. I couldnt handle it, i was institionalized and medicated, during this they numbed me out to the point where i forgot who i truly am. Now most of my occult experience is in 2019. I began wprking with entities and within moments, i was blasted on to a path i could never unsee. Aphrodite showed me sex magick, self love so itense it could be felt in the room. The euphoria was like nothing else ive experienced before. Astral travelling, alrering dimensions i wasnt in, that would have a domino effect onto my reality. Power, just raw power, i could control anyone i wished. I was being possesed over 100 times a day by different entites. This once again, made me lose control. I got addicted to the choas of doing supernatural shit. I got medicated again, and had spirtual experiences here and there but nothing like i had in 2019. Id like to get in touch with my spirtual self without losing control. I dont know how but im in it for the ride :blush:

Wow! Is it very commonplace in the magickal scene to have this occurrence happen to us? It sounds like I would feel very uncomfortable if this were to have happened to me. How did you do this so I’m aware of what not to do as a beginner in magick?

The first thing id say is sobriety. Ground with gaia or whatever you use and dont go all out all at once!

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Welcome to the forum!

Getting taken advantage of as a sensitive by lesser entities is a common problem, though tis sounds pretty extreme. We have a few tutorials on what we call “spiritual hygiene” and also getting rid of astral parasites and free loaders that might be interesting.

Kin or, but it’s easily avoided with education. Protections are built in to ceremonial systems by modern grimoire take short cuts or assume they’re talking to intermediate level adepts. And who really wants to sound all worry wart and uncool and put repetitive warnings to go do your homework before you start?

Having a good strong base in your self integrity before you open the door to entities is ideal, but a lot of people don’t have the opportunity or patience to build up slowly like this. Drugs are bad news in this sense, all the xp, not so much wit the understanding and control to really leverage it.

List of lists of free tutorials:


Welcome @Silent

Such as…what?

Do you actually practice anything, or was it more of a spontaneous thing?


Well you know the old occult addage “if it doesn’t kill you or put you in a mental institution you can call it an initiation” :thinking: