Thank you all for the welcome and reaching out, it really means a lot.
So, these are a few things that have been happening to me. I was pretty sexually active at 18, met a partner, was in a terribly boring relationship for about 5 years, and now I am out of it and again sexually active with others. So, I do not currently have a partner. I am an extremely sex driven person, I mean so much so that I crave mostly everyone I interact with. I cannot shut it off, turn it down, its such a consuming drive. I love having sex with men. I’m not a dominant person at all, but the thing that I’ve noticed starting to happen is when having sex with a man, I’ll almost feel something take over my body, and depending on whether or not I control it, I become much more dominant. I have to hold back, or I’ll just start becoming extremely aggressive. Sometimes, I find myself feeling the “taken over” feeling just interacting with someone.
Another thing that happens when I am having sex, and occasionally just in passing, is I will feel myself start to suck the energy from a man. I know it is a very unhealthy thing to do, and I very rarely take someone’s energy if I am controlling it. I guess, what I’m saying is this part of me, part of something else, is sucking the life out of lovers. I will also find myself seeing with my third eye, envisioning myself pulling their hearts out, sort of like a long gooey string, and running it through my fingers.
I feel strange saying, or typing, these things aloud. I don’t tell people about my thoughts on this, and I’m almost afraid. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, it feels like an absolute drug, but I would like to at least understand what is going on with me.
Something else that happened, and this actually just happened last night. I slept at a guy’s house last night, nothing sexual happened, he played video games while I slept in his bed, but I remember falling asleep, sort of felt myself trying to drain his energy, and then I would wake up because I had such vivid, i mean absolutely real feeling and touching dreams, that he would crawl into bed with me and start having sex. I would wake up, and think that it happened. This happened twice over the night. I would realize it was a dream when I’d look around, but I have never felt something so real, and I am a very vivid dreamer.
Sorry if this is just a big wad of crazy-ness. Just got done working all weekend, hope all is well with everyone. If anyone out there has any help, advice, thoughts on what is going on, or where I could find out for myself, please let me know.