How? That is truly an almost impossible question to answer. I can tell you to do this and that but unless you can maintain control and move on it won’t work.
But let’s try this answer anyway, you need to do your ritual, if you finish your ritual not feeling completely exhausted and drained of all emotion you did it wrong so you better take the time to do it right and expel all that energy out. Then make a sandwich to be distracted. Afterwards from then on out in the future if you think about your mother or child in anyway that is not positive you need to find a positive trait to think about them instead.
Imagine what you WANT to happen, see it very clearly, then when you see that and feel doubt repeat variations of “If i was a living goddess, I would be (describe the positive outcome you want).”
I actually use this and it works for me:
The more magickal muscle you can put behind it the better, but for now just focus on this, keep using the format “IF I was…” at the start, that seems to remove the brain’s tendency to filter out what it thinks is impossible.
Also if you can start feeling gratitude, appreciation, the warmm feeling you would have about this going your way in advance try doing that, but it may be too much to sustain for long in which case go back to “If I was…” as above.
Change the wording up of the description if it starts to feel a bit stale, you need to get back to a state like childhood of play-pretend and remove the adult part of your mind which monitors things for being real/unreal when you do this.
When dealing with officials of any sort they should not be allowed to retain their will to resist what you want especially in a place such as the UK. They cannot be trusted to do anything on their own correctly and so should be subverted and dominated to do what you wish through whatever means you find work best.
Definitely show you are competent to them but at the same time leave nothing of chance. Seeing as you don’t seem very experienced yet you will need to refine which are the most important objectives and people to influence beyond your mother and that required to get your life in order. As effective as layering the entire section of the bureaucracy involved in what you want with domination spells it is rather costly in time, energy, and skill.
My methods deal a lot with direct energy and strict control and management and less than spirits for anything other than advice and knowledge so adapt all this to the route you choose to go with.
And I tried to evoke duke gusion a few times but wasn’t able to detect any manifestation. I’m confused… you evoked belial for me? And what did you mean the response about adoption - did he mention adoption? And how do I speak with him? Do I do the full ritual with the circle drawn out and shit, the candles and the herbs? I have those here but I’ve never done a full evocation before.
Totally! My full plan would be to get home to them, have my son get back used to me, recover for a while then eventually move out with him, in whatever way I would need to do that
Just thought I’d mention - when I went to sleep earlier I had the most vivid and clear dream… it started off bad. I was in some ghetto kinda place with some girls hiding because someone was coming for us but then the dream changed and I was in a place that in the dream i recognised as my home that I’m trying to get back to… but wasn’t actually my mothers house. I was with best friend/big sister type figure and we had to kinda break in to get away with whoever had been coming to get me in the other place, and I thought my mum wasn’t home so I ran upstairs to my old room/now my sons room and they were both in there. I panicked thinking she wasn’t going to call the police on me, but she didn’t and it was all fine and all great… me, my mum and my friend then sat and had a meal together. I don’t know where my son was at this point, but that’s what I remember. I was so happy. I haven’t had a positive dream like that in a long time.
I then tried to speak to Belial tonight through his sigil but I got a strong feeling that I didn’t do it properly, like I just couldn’t concentrate. I will try again soon.
but then the dream changed and I was in a place that in the dream i recognised as my home that I’m trying to get back to… but wasn’t actually my mothers house. I was with best friend/big sister type figure and we had to kinda break in to get away with whoever had been coming to get me in the other place, and I thought my mum wasn’t home so I ran upstairs to my old room/now my sons room and they were both in there. I panicked thinking she wasn’t going to call the police on me, but she didn’t and it was all fine and all great… me, my mum and my friend then sat and had a meal together. I don’t know where my son was at this point, but that’s what I remember. I was so happy. I haven’t had a positive dream like that in a long time.
I will try again soon.