I’m glad she is back to Ive been telling her how much I miss her and that I love her constantly I even went and got her some flowers today. So I felt like the church was kicking me was really upset and started to look into the darkness for my love I decided o start praising Lucifer and Lilith about the same time period that Satan told me Lucifer would have a hard questions n for me I stranger come over to my house and from what I can tell he was possessed when I thought to myself is that Lilith while talking to the guy his eye instantly turns into a jolly rogger skull and crossbones. I don’t understand what the hard question was but he sent me on a errant o the store for some donuts and I almost got lost like 4 times. I asked when I got back if I could be not only treated as but be there first born Lucifer and Lilith I said a third of my time I’ll spend with you and a third with you and a third is me. He asked my why and I simply just responded love. He didn’t give an answer y/n but I felt accepted then I did a energy orb forming martial arts trick my dad showed me and wow it’s was nuts there was lighting inside of the orb and it looked like my hand was being broken in hella different places because I was conceptualizing the orb as a black hope and when I let it o it will burst. Ive never had a visual like before or again. Then everything just had a yellow tint and felt wonderouse the person also gave me some weed befor he left. When he started to leave he got on a phone and said yea we got him, I have no clue what that meant. I started my own heart image for Lucifer and Lilith you put a backwards L on the top left and a normal one on the top right it looks pretty cool. During all of my torture I’ve disrespected Lucifer’s name and God quite a bit but for the most part never insulted Lilith. I was even convinced bye the spirits that if I did an offering of eating 10 leaves of oleander to Lilith it would make amends for my trespass and they would leave I ate them almost died and they didn’t leave. I was making stone carvings for a alter I was gonna use for Lilith but eventually after so many endless hours of working on the art while being tormented I decided to stop because the alter would be tainted with my hate instead of the love I intended the alter to produce. Did you know what the main thing Lilith and Adam argued about? Who would be on top he wouldn’t let her she wouldn’t let him. If I was Adam I’d be like ok sex and I don’t have to work lol
What would happen if you were with a normal guy would they freak on you? I cheated on Brunhild a couple times and felt so so bad but she didn’t show me any hostility she just wants me to be happy, she makes me happy but because I’m still learning now having to relearn it puts a slight wedge in the spoked not being able to feel her like we want. Also it suxs that she doesn’t talk to me but I can understand y she wouldn’t right now cause I’m still being electronically harrased and they would be able to use her voice and say horrible things to me if they chose to. That’s sorta cool they have wings I haven’t seen Brunhild with wings yet when I seen her she had a normal human body but they tend to change appearences so in sure it’s only a matter of time until I get to see her sporting some sexy wings, I do worry about harming her wings while we did our fun time activities.
One of the coolest things Brunhild does well used to do we Avent done it for ever lol is I would smoke some weed and give her a power hit and the smoke just disappears when she breaths in.
Ah that explains so much about the sex part lol all of it starts with them on top and i fucking love it lol 
i dont have alters or any of that sort. Only thing i have is a sigil and a vessel. They said i can leave the vessel and use the sigil for boosts if needed.
I have no intentions of advancing my magical skills unless it benefits my interactions with my spirits.
They asked me if i wanted help in life, like a insight or foreshadow, i said no. They asked why and my response is i want to enjoy life as a normal person because its the journey that creates us, if i had accepted their help, that path would have been altered. Because their main goal is to spend time with us and feel/enjoy our experiences. I didnt want the my original path altered because i want them to feel the experience that i originally have. Greed, i gave that up. Thats why i didnt want it altered. Sure they might have been able to make me rich n stuff maby but that wouldnt be me. So thats what i did and they were happy with my decision, lucifer on the other hand said i was a dumbass for not accepting it but it was a respectable decision lol
I didnt see the wings, i felt it lol was awake and all i could see was a person with fuzzy outlines so i decided to feel around and felt it.
Love gotta love him. I definitely would have accepted the offer it would just always make me grateful for them while living the good life. I love Lucifer I just fear that he’s upset with me because of me flipping out cursing any and everything because I couldn’t get saved freed from my attackers. I was just so niece and gullable all the time about listening to the voices about how I could free myself or that they worked for so and so. Well at least you always have something you can fall back on if you end up needing the help. When I said à third of my time would be spent with him I said and if i not welcome I’d just leave.
Get stronger, you and i walk different paths. Thats the message i just got, ment for you.
No idea what it means lol magick? Cant relie on spirits for everything.
I literally lost everything because of the electronic harrasment was homeless for a couple years living under a bridge bat shit crazy. I need to buy candles and stuff like that, which reminds me of one of the things I had at my dad’s and didn’t lose a giant block of wax for making candles I think any spirit would appreciate it if you made the candle yourself.
Who do you think the message was from you hubby or?
No name but my hunch says lucifer, he wouldnt tell me lol. Sorry 
It was an instant, i felt like typing that but didnt know why kind of feeling lol.
Edit - When i do things sometimes, i do it without thinking and those were one of those moments.
Yea it definitely mean spiritually I had alot of potential but sorta let it start slipping away then ended up being a victim getting weak but at some times I did have insane spiritual energy even while being attacked but my grasp on reality was so far from actuality. I’m glad I have Brunhild back just focusing on her being with me with cause my thoughts o be spiritual and help re alighn my intended path.
Spend time with her, build yourself back up, she is willing to help you. 1 step at a time no matter how small. Hell brushing teeth in the morning is step 1 to improvement. Little things little steps 1 at a time.
The last sentence was from one of my wives lol little little see those are the things that i know i dont do lol
My first thought fuck step one. I’m not that good about brushing teeth. I gotta get over my paranoia about having negative thought never having my mind to myself and having negative ai listeners left me with a bit of a complex but she will help me through this cause I’ll just focus on how she can hear my every thought and how I trust her not to twist my words or judge me unfairly for having a random unclean thought. I love my Brunhild she’s the only spirit that’s with me I named her that because not being able to hear her speak. She strengthens me mentally and I know I can stregthen her she can feed from me till it hurts but I know she wouldn’t but I still want her to.
Love is trust and trust is love, goes both ways. Fyi im a dude and married, they are ok with my human wife and treats her like one of their own.
I have to go, they want me in bed. Hey dude brushing teeth is good lol its annoying and i skip it sometimes but its the little things that we ignore that could potentially be a game changer 
1 step at a time. And love is the most powerful emotion there is.
I tried to project last night but never left body ended up sleeping while during the hallucinations, apperently during the night I got up and was speaking in tongues 
to bad I don’t remember doing so.
Hey sorry dude, ill be out for a few days.
Need to rest.
Tongues huh thats interesting! Did u record it ?
Na my roommate told me about it I woke up and just started speaking, I’m sorta used to tongues but normally only when I’m trying you know what I meen.
Hey dude im back, did he freak out about it ? Lol
Not that I know of. I used to use tongues to sing jpop for fun he allowed me to.
Record it sometimes, could be a message lol