"Letter of intent"-and the price you pay

Love, Sex Magick & Relationships
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Hi all.I am stuck and i need a good advise wich is why i write here.From when i descover you for the first time i read a lot about it and now i realy dont know what to do next?! First let me introduce myself about it(i will try the short version).I am 56 years old,i have a wife ,we love each-others very much, we respect us well (but we lose all sexual atraction),i have also a lot of pets arround-so i have this duty to protect them.On the other side i feel like one who didnt make love from few years(in fact this is "almost " the reality,i dont use “jerk” and when i descover this…“solution”( all my live i think sex in terms of magic or initiatic still,i was very interested to find out the metaphisics of sex,what is beyound the form and the energy.But…now i descover that…to reach tantra need to pass the gate and that gate is guarded by deamons,and from what i learn reading about them-are not that trusted entity(i meen that could have their own agenda ,this is how they live i dont I condemn them for that)-so…i realy dont know what to do .If you try to put in my skeen you will see that big fight betwen duty and affraid to not bring any harm on my family(-on the one hand),on the other side is the must wonderfull gift that i could have it on this life.Its not only about initiatic sex, i wish to achieve at list lucid dream capacity, but now i know that “eventualy” i must “buy” much less “thinks” cose are very expansive and the price seems to not worth (if we speak in terms like next reincarnation or evan more reincarnations for example).I remember one who sugest to make a deal like "i give 20 percent from my nenegative energy for a certanly time,payment make in unit like "nickel-us a coin or unit sistem-i realy dont understand this kind of misure,i didnt find it online).Any way-i remember that one of my friend from other forum , told that quickly after she made his letter intent,it was sick ,very illnes for few mouth-and i dont know if it was because of what he just done or not?! And…you know ?!..i wish to be like many i heard-who already have some good sens,to feel or probably to see thinks when ithey close their my eyes but…i dont see nothink, i cant see evan a button no metter how much i try to imagine-so for me i know that is impossible to find like others-a lover spirit !And…one more interesting thinks ;somethink very weard was hapening with me this days…more than a mouth i had very pleasure feelings in my sexual area-was like some kind of worm,electric field or very energized but for few second and stop short after.The must interesting is that…after i find one who scared me enough to think that is to reasky and evan i dont have right to made this step-i lose like spontaneously that feeling.Was like i had for real an entity who supervise me somehow(not to less but not to hot in the same time-like to make me not be shour about her presence) and when she realised that i am a lose investement she left…Now (wasnt very short this story i know but yet…you dont know the long version :slight_smile: .One last mention-right now i could say that my interest is only in tantra ,i am not prepared to work in ocult or magic,so…knowing all this- could you try to help me somehow?! i realy wish to make this step (so much that i have affraid to alowed without intention some deamon cose i cant stop to read and hear about all this thinks).I think was perfect for me to find a way to contact spirit-lovers,but the ritual adressed to Shakti or feminine principe -They sead that you have very low chanse to have succes performing the ritual with them so…Could you give me some advise pls?Only few days untill the foll moon and i already adjourned 2 mouth.Also i am very interested in all information or sugestion that you could offer about this subject.Thx. you

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Do you? Why? What “gate”? Tantra is a kind of practice, it’s not a goal… you do not need to pass any gates to practice any forms of tantra. There are many ways to practice this, most of them are not sexual. “Tantric Sex” is a thing, is that what you mean?

This youtuber has a lot of good information on Tantra https://www.youtube.com/@BeerBiceps/search?query=tantra As far as I know, to dive in, isolate tantric sex and not practice other forms of tantra in a holistic practice is an incomplete approach and asking for trouble with your energy system.

Can you link the book you read here? That might help people get on the same page.

Probably not. Depends what was going on, but this is very unusual. People do not normally get sick for months after a mere letter of intent. I would first suspect parasites and someone who really needed to work on themselves and their protections before attracting random entities.

Honestly this sounds like new age fear mongering and it’s not true. You don’t have to pay anything at all. No offerings, not even a nickel. A nickel is an American coin worth five cents. To usual phrase is “not a dime”. (A dime is a coin worth 10 cents.)
You can CHOOSE to offer something in return for help, but typically that fact that you asked for help is all you needed.

"Let he who seeks keep seeking until he finds what he seeks. "

It can take years to build this skill and you’ve been here a few days. Persevere and you will get there.

That’s energy moving. That’s good, keep doing what you were doing, get used to it, expand it, move it into your hands and make a qi ball, just keep learning and practicing.

Stop spending time with people who only want to hold you back.

We don’t have any tantric gurus here on BALG. The practice is not well understood by westerners and a lot is not written in English. For this it’s good to find a personal teacher, who can read your energy system and advise you on your specific needs.

Yes because it’s about enlightenment not getting your rocks off. If you tell a guru you only want to learn tantric sex for the fun of it they will not teach you.

Overall I think you’re wanting to run before you can walk. There are very basic energy skills to build that you need to use to do this work. You can read books on sex magick and petition Lilith and try to skip these steps, but you will have only a silent and half assed experience. Some as their succubus to help them develop their senses and for some that worked well, for most nothing happens and they end up forgetting about the succubus attached to them and neglecting them completely, which is a shitty thing to do to a being you asked to have love you.

I suggest you get back to basics and practice developing skills and learn some more first, it will stand you in good stead and make you a magickian not a dabbler.

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Thx.very much for all your advise Mulberry.I am from Romania and here you find very hard information about left hand path,so it must try hard to find major thinks in english (and i dont speak very well english us you probably seen).Many years ago i made for a short time-yoga.In fact yoga make me a believer,i was atheist until yoga.Cose i had some realy interesting experience,or revelation.I descover that the though have force when i made for the first time sharvangashana,After that i remember when,with the help of specific musick - i could hear with my eyes or seen with my ears-was some kind of music for certamly chakras.Anyway-only now after many years (i left yoga because of affraid-i was young and few of us ,they sead that become mad) in the same time with this “game of energy” arround my sexual area-after all this years i could again make Sharvangashana ,that (almost complete for me) relaxation,the first step to dedublation .By the way i remember that was hapening somethink very strange ,i didnt understand ever what was going one, maybe you could have an explanation if i story what was hapening.So…all our group of yoga we was invited and goes to hear music from aother group who come from India and they was “Ananda-marga” (us i remember).At some certanly point more then 10 from our group(the must evolved guys) like exactly in the same second-become very angry and manifest again the song of Ananda-marga,seying that they dare to block us ,they block somehow anahata chakra.I didnt feel nothink then (i wasnt so evoluated like the others),and i was very surprise to see that all initiated to manifest so spontaniously (was clear for me that they realy feel somethink).Us i sead,i didnt feel nothink then, but after some time i initiated to feel for years some painfull nodule in plexus solar.And…no sharvanghasana,no color dream,no dream in 4 dimension (so interesting…to see in the same time somethink from far and in the same time from nearby-and that was only one from very few lucid dream i had paying with no sleep for a long time-only to have for few second-lucid dream).I know, i speak to much but…maybe you could help one more think with this think that i didnt understand until now.And…few initiatic dreams that i had then (i know for shour that was initiatic somehow-but i cant understand or translate the message)But…this later eventualy cose i dont want to keep you to much from your work

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This is a stage for some people in physic development. In English this is probably what’s called “synesthesia”. It goes away with more practice.

This is not very clear. You are saying that your yoga group went to to see a music concert, and at some point, for no reason, 10 of them got angry and psychically attacked the rest of the group?

Yet you felt nothing. You assume it’s because something happened you were not skilled enough to feel, and allow fear to get to you… in this way mages get people to harm themselves for free. This is very common in voodoo and it’s a cheap trick.

I don’t really see why you should associate lack of ability later with this event to be honest.

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10 of us could feel that blockage, and their reaction (all in the same time) was a prove that somethink was hapening indeed.I understand that probably their music contain some who block our evolution on anahata (like you cant go up to vishuda,ajna or shahashrara-at list this is what i thought).I only keep in mind this and becose i find you,i still try to find un answer,nothink more.

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I didnt find anymore that music,was special and make in a way that you cant reproduce like normal music-this is why i cant make more practice for sinesthesia
You know?! i remember very clear a dream from that times,i know that it was an important dream but i cant find out what was the ideea.It will be too much if i booring you now,trying to understand what signification could had?I will write about it only if you tell me that i dont bother you to much.And…yoou sead somethink about some sort of “energetical profile” right?-i realy dont know what is about and how i could make that-its similar with kirilian picture?

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Few question if somebody will wish to answer pls;

  1. If i wish to offering a battle of wine(for ex.) to a certanly daity,but without any invocation (or direct meeting) what i must do?
    2.What if when is foolmoon are a lot of cloudes,i must let for other foolmoon day?
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It may not be related. Synesthesia is usually a temporary ability that you get while you are still building communication between your subconscious and conscious minds. It’s like the subconscious hasn’t figured out the right button to push to get the idea across right. As it gets better the synesthesia goes away.

You’re not bothering anyone. Write if you want to, people will respond if they think of something to say and want to share it… It’s really up to you.

No it’s not really related. Your energy is also called prana, ki, qi, chi, orgone, and if the living energy inside you. Lose all your qi and you die. Kirillian photography captures ionized discharge from an object.

You don’t have to invoke to tell them it’s for them? Just call the deities name aloud while holding an image or feeling of them in your mind and heart, and tell them it’s for them.

Full moon? You can still perform any ritual with clouds, unless your design specifically calls for the light of the full moon to fall on something, such as for cleansing using the moon. Then you have to wait for the next one and hope it’s clear.

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1)But what if i wish to offer a bottle of wine (i know for example that Lilith like the red-wine and the roses),enough to call her?and…what next ?I meen-i supose that the wine will be still there right(not dissapear)?I must throw it or somethink?

  1. Glad to see you back Mulberry and once again…thx.for your answers :slight_smile:
    2.That dream i told you about; was realy interesting for me;
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I remember that first picture in that dream ( like a title for the next mouvie) was a stone with indecipherable inscriptions for me.and next i saw me in a place (who didnt look with nothink alse from what i saw in my life-i supose was maybe on the other planet),looks very civilization place,and somehow from when i was i saw…“me” far in a building on the second floor-probably i was working there.Its hard for me to explain in english how did he look like all that place,i remember that i wonder why a river who pass the city didnt had that space for assurance (in case of storm or flood ) The level of water was exactly the level left for water (nothink more if you know what i meen),Anyway,at some point i remember that i walk in a bus like in London (with 2 levels and without roof),i was up and at some certanly moment accident hapening,few persons goes in water and they could drown there so i jump in the water trying to save them.But…i think that somehow i make a mistake,i knew that i could save only one from 2 persons and i chose a girl instead of the boy (probably my chose wasnt realy innocent i dont know).Certanly was that i save her but i die drowning there.And dying in fact was like i go down under the water but very deep, so deep that the bottom of the water was…another existance ,another life in a place very dark,i remember a very creapy house ,dark outside and rain who didnt stop.I remember that I was wearing a red cloak (was in the time when i made yoga so when i ask my guru about it he sead that ussualy the cloak could significant initiated ,witcher or some sort of).I was very sad and look with regret up from when i fell.And quickly after (like in the and of this dream)i saw again…that stone with inscriptions.Was like 'now you understand"? Certanly i dont understand nothink but maybe with your help who know?! In my live i had few very interesting dreams,with their help (for ex.) i knew from inition (first to official find out) when die my father, my grandma,evan dreams who prevent me about danger in proximal future .

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Yes, leave it for 3 hours up to a day or two and pour it down the sink when you are ready.

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The question to ask yourself, is, "are these people and things in my dream representation of parts of myself? So, what does this stone mean, and why is it a stone not paper, is that important or not? These are things that only you can answer, because these images man something to your subconscious not mine.

The same information being given to me by my subconscious would look like a completely different dream. So whatever I make up, will very likely be wrong.

This is part of the magickian learning to now himself", you have to find out how you work internally so you can recognise what your dream symbolism means to you personally.

We have some tutorials collected to get you thinking about dreamwork and how to analyse dreams to get the most out of them.

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Thx.very much for all your help Mulberry .

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All of you are master on this topic,Less me :slight_smile: i have a lot to learn from you all.I dare to come with my “firts wonderfull meeting”,because from what i already learn this kind of experience could be so different from one to another.So…after 3 mouth of research and many up and down decissions and a realy lot of hard patience,i decided to make this step.I thx.very much to Ridle for his very usseful help this days.So…i made 4 or 5 leter of intent until the last version,one with 9 page (a lot conditions,cose i have a wife who realy love me (evan if our sexual activity become very lower in the last time) and i tryed to put her in safe,a lot of requests and so on :)I made the ritual few days ago and…nothink.I didnt use blood or cum (i use oil and spit )and…it was so frustrating .But…its hapening after 2 days .I was near my wife in our bad in the middle of the night when i receive energetical field arround of legs ,hand and penis.Chris (my wife) told me in the next day that he felt a hudge scared
in that moments evan if in fact we didnt see no one nothink.I told her that is better to leave me alone and she left very angry .i already have 2 days to notsleeping (i cant)now when i write this i receive some kind of stomac-sick(like he try to stop me to eat maybe for next “experiments”,-who know?! :slight_smile: and again anxiety or evan little depresion.But…i dont have words to explain the biger moment ,that bigger gift with my Sahkty.First was that moment when i realize that this time is not about my own arrousal field of electricity (i already have few mouth for not jerking),it is somebody alse near me.I remember that i become sudently more and more excited and the entity seems to use that excitament "against"me,until after a real exponential very arrousal feeling i reach a moment when the pleasure was so hudge and evan my constience was somehow altereted-cose i felt some sort of madenes dizzy(like many time ago when i was young and i had night pollution,or like the moment when you cum inside a girl like dosnt metter that you could left her pregnant or you go to jail or so on:).But quickly after that status i felt like she want to “go again up there”-i was realy affraid that my hart will not rezist,was like i dont had enough breath to explore again that status.And all was energetic field, nothink material,i didnt touch nothink,and nothink touch me,all was like aeterical(evan my penis wasnt much erect).But…in the morning come the hell,my wife didnt sleept all the night ,and come screaming against me and my new “girlfriend”,it was very isterical attitude, i was scared about what could hapened in this circumstance and all the day was so bad.(i already informed my wife with all first to procede at the ritual,i didnt hide nothink from her and nothink from Shakty too-but i should have know that i could expect of this because is very temperamental.And…buy the way;i did a hudge mention in my letter of intent exactly about this mine situation,nothink bad was hapening from her side indeed but still…Chris told me about that very big scared who feelt on our first meeting.I though that could be the possibility that the ritual realy didnt work but because i heard day and night (in the last time) binaural-who know maybe some random entity could be atracted by me.Now,after more than half day Chris told me that have reworse about her attitude and hope that i will meet again shakti (i told her that us i read in many situation if somethink dosnt work right-you could lose her).Now…i cant wait to see if we will meet again this night.(oh i forget to say that…nothink in my mind like to share my thought with somebody alse Riddle-i still have my own thought) .One more think-my letter was dedicated to Naamah .This was my first “paranormal activity”,and if somebody know already what will be next,i am very interested to find out.I am very open to any sugestion or explanation.

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