Left hand or Right hand how to choose when your ambidextrous?

Okay so this is a difficult subject for me. First of all let me say that I am ambidextrous and use both hands equally. That’s been part of my physical training in both music and kung-fu since I was young. I’ve been an astral traveler from early childhood and have always known there was something else besides the physical reality that I’m currently incarnate in.

I grew up dabbling in the occult, playing with runestones, calculating my natal chart, and trying my best at working spells. Sometimes they were successful. I was prone to psychic visions and life-changing dreams. I also grew up pretty hood and got into some major shit as a teen. Finally, I left that lifestyle and went to pentecostal church for seven years. I learned the tricks of their trade, speaking in tongues of angels, reading people, telling them their future, laying on of hands and healing them. But I hated the stupid restrictions, ya know, not being able to smoke a joint, or have a three way, or go grab a beer and bullshit with my buddies. I also found the ministers to be morons, most of the people were mindless sheep void of any spiritual power. So I wound up hating those fuck-tards.

When I went to college I felt more agnostic than anything, I like science, logic, philosophy, and history and read a lot. I’ve read a lot of Taoist and Buddhist texts as well as occult books. And through the inner workings of Kung-fu I learned about chi cultivation and how to meditate. I even found enlightenment. The realization that I am an eternal being, incarnate in a physical vessel.

So now what? I had full spirits manifest themselves to me the first time two years ago. I didn’t invite them or perform a ritual they just started showing up in my room, and basically telling me you need to figure this shit out, that’s why we’re here! And mocking me for being agnostic, since I knew damn well it was a lie. So I started reading, and astral travelling a lot. Which led me to EA and his books! I’ve been reading Evoking Eternity and Baneful Magick as well as Summoning Spirits. I’ve figured out Candle Magick, and Sigil magick in the last couple of months with damn good success! This week I pulled off my first successful evocation.

Now I’m here struggling to decide what path I’m on. Buddha has always been friendly to me when I call upon him. And the Goddess has been more than a sweetheart to me when I call her name and ask for her help. When I call the Archangels and Angels they always respond and treat me like a brother. My friends and family that astral travel with me have told me I keep showing up as an angel or as pure light when they call on me. I even had a vision of astral self with wings and golden battle armor. I think intrinsically I’m good, wishing the best for the planet, nature, and hoping for the evolution of the human species. I hate war, crime, ignorance, racism, sexism and nationalism. I also hate religion. I feel at home in nature, the animals gather around me, children always talk to me, and the elderly find comfort in my presence.

But at the same time I am a selfish, arrogant asshole. Some people bother me just by their very existence and I would gladly behead them if prison weren’t the place I would wind up. I can’t find a reason to worship or follow any other being then myself, I like to learn from them, and I give respect, but worship? No. Also I see black magick as a means to an end, destroy my enemies, manifest large sums of money, summon a new sex partner, influence the music community and gain favor in business. I have yet to summon a demon though. Blood does not appeal to me in any sense, neither does speaking to something that hates me. So in a way I’m stuck between two paths. Help, please.

Black magic if for the self, white is for everything but the self. You are the only one who can make that decision.

Many of us immediately ‘know’ we are one or the other, but …

Some of us, at some point, cease to divide the two …

ZachD555, many of the elements of your thinking line up with my own. .

If Necromasters definition is correct, that still leaves us with the knowledge that, in order to live a life WORTH living, we need BOTH.

We need to feel as if OUR wants are not only OK, but important. And we need to feel like we’re contributing something, too, in a way that feels satisfying.

Selfish, YES I AM, but caring about myself does not exclude caring about others. My playing field is level. Period.

Does this mean I ignore good advise from Mages who have advanced further? Hell no! I have enormous respect for them - but I don’t put them on a pedestal; doing that would be diminishing ME in my own eyes; I might as well say, “Hey you, in the mirror, you’re less entitled to have & use Power than they are.”

What happened to me when I put a foot in each world, was I began to shed the social morality I’d been fed all my life, but my own decisions about what I DO WANT held me steady. I mean we ALL want relationships with other people, right? Not gonna have any that are hi quality or hi voltage if I just go around squashing peoples dreams & self respect, now am I? Its almost by default - or self preservation - that you don’t alienate EVERYBODY …

Rather than endlessly second-guessing yourself, why not just put a foot in each world and see what happens? You might like it! :wink: Z

Zach, what you say echos a lot of thought and contemplation I have had as of late. Someone told me a long time ago when I asked how to be successful to always be true to yourself. With that lately I have also added that I go with whatever feels right.

I agree with Zoe to just put a foot in each world and see what happens.

[quote=“apocolypticor, post:4, topic:122”]Zach, what you say echos a lot of thought and contemplation I have had as of late. Someone told me a long time ago when I asked how to be successful to always be true to yourself. With that lately I have also added that I go with whatever feels right.

I agree with Zoe to just put a foot in each world and see what happens.[/quote]

I think most all of us would agree your Advisor spoke a universal Truth. The difficulty I occasionally have is losing sight of the “Myself” I’m supposed to be true to. Sounds convoluted, I know, but sometimes I get so in my head with facts and knowledge, I find myself chasing after the most recent fascination, instead of being grounded in & focused upon feeling & following this Greater Self I want to grow into. :wink: Z

I say choose a path, if you stick to one you will advance faster. Either way you will need to know evocation, I would learn it and then choose your path. I personally put my needs above all others, it isn’t acceptable by most but I do not deny my true nature. Black magic will give you more power than you know what to do with but it will show you your true self.

Doesn’t sound to me like you’re stuck, but like you only think you’re stuck. You don’t need to choose one or the other. I think that is a common misunderstanding. You’ve obviously got some good skills and experiences. Make the most of it. Be true to yourself. If you’re seriously questioning which road to take, feeling a pull toward both (not that they’re really separate mind you), then it sounds like you need to explore both aspects. In fact, if you’re really really going to progress you MUST explore both sides. Take it lightly if that’s what you need to do. You’ve got this in the bag. You already know what you need to do, you’re just waiting for confirmation. :slight_smile: Now that you have it - do it! :smiley:

Ah, DKM, You DO have a way with words … nicely put! :wink: Z

Guys thank all of you for your advice, confirmations, and encouragements. I am taking everything said to heart, and I think the best way to do this is as Zoe said placing a foot in each path and see where they lead me to.

On a practical side of things I’m having hell with getting small details right in evocation. More specifically the smoke from the brazier. I’m using a small brazer with live coals and sage to burn, but I’m not producing enough visible smoke to get the spirits to manifest in. I can feel them, hear them telepathically, even see and hear the manipulations of nature around me, but I can’t get enough smoke to really cause the entity to materialize. so what are you guys using?

Also, since starting to study the art of evocation and calling on spirits, I’ve seen my world rearrange in strange ways. Lots of back fires, troubles with my business, band, dating life, and minor annoyances like being pulled over by the cops regularly, or hitting unusual amounts of traffic. Is this normal?

You don’t need to walk one path or another, you should walk what is in most alignment with what you are. My path is inbetween left and right, so maybe you would want to try doing something similar.

[quote=“ZachD555, post:9, topic:122”]I can’t get enough smoke to really cause the entity to materialize. so what are you guys using?

Also, since starting to study the art of evocation and calling on spirits, I’ve seen my world rearrange in strange ways. Lots of back fires, troubles with my business, band, dating life, and minor annoyances like being pulled over by the cops regularly, or hitting unusual amounts of traffic. Is this normal?[/quote]

When I need a good smoke base, I’ll use two or three coals and white copal resin. You get an incredible smoke screen. The level of vibratory intensity given off by the incense helps quite a bit as well.

Having a string of strange occurrances like that can have a variety of causes. You should meditate concerning this to discover the source of your problems. Depending on the cause you will have a better idea as to what action should be taken. Even if you don’t get a direct idea of what to do, you’ll at least have a good idea as to which direction you should start looking. I usually get these types of occurrances when my mind isn’t right OR when I am the target of an attack. The usual fix if it’s my mind (or self initiated) is a good balancing and grounding meditation/ritual. If it’s an attack, you can summon a good several spirits, tell them to detect any line of attack directed toward you, either accidental or deliberate, trace it to the source. You may wish them to be warned first, just to give them the benefit of the doubt. If they continue to launch attacks, you may have to give a more - hmmm - active command other than just giving a warning. Things will clear up pretty quickly.

Whatever the root cause is though, there is a remedy to be sure :slight_smile:

DKM,

thanks again for the advice. I’ll be purchasing some white copal resin this weekend and try again. And start with a deep meditation this afternoon, if it’s not within me I’m going to hunt down my adversary and deliver a very clear message to them!

Hey ZachD555 - I thought of something else you might be intersted in trying; a kind of ‘alternative’ method for seeing the demon you’re evoking. (Might be a bit unsettling though, if you don’t like being approached from behind … ) On the positive side, I haven’t been gobbled up or tossed across the room! That bodes well … and I only do this with the demons I’ve found to be generally good-natured. Common sense plays a role here. Still, its nice to have an alternative in your bag of tricks for those times you find yourself without resin. (Or out & about with nothing more than a compact mirror on you to use as a tool!)

At home I sit in front of a mirror with a candle behind me, in an otherwise darkened room. By all means, make your circle and triangle if that gives you peace of mind. Follow your usual methods for evocation looking into the aura of candlelight around you, in, the mirror just above & around your head. Oh, and try to not burn your hair! Did that once.

An alternative to ponder … :wink: Z

Hey Zoe,

your advice is really helpful. I have a mirror set up in my room that often allows me to see manifestations. It’s nothing special, just part of my dresser. I have also scryed into a blank cell phone screen, when sitting around bored at the park. I’m only new to the actual art of setting up an alter, pouring the circle ect. I’d like to see the physical manifestation of a spirit, not as confirmation of it’s existence, but rather to know i have the ability to call such a being forth and cause it to take beholdable form. I’m gonna try some practices tonight and see if I get any new results…I’m working through the path in Evoking Eternity now…,…thanks again for your help, your advice has been priceless.

                                    ZACHD555                                               

Sending you BIG love, brother Mine! It just occured to me that my predominantly Celtic background might contain many things I consider ordinary, but would be completely unheard of in other circles. Have at it! BIG success! :wink: Z

[quote=“ZachD555, post:14, topic:122”]Hey Zoe,

your advice is really helpful. I have a mirror set up in my room that often allows me to see manifestations. It’s nothing special, just part of my dresser. I have also scryed into a blank cell phone screen, when sitting around bored at the park. I’m only new to the actual art of setting up an alter, pouring the circle ect. I’d like to see the physical manifestation of a spirit, not as confirmation of it’s existence, but rather to know i have the ability to call such a being forth and cause it to take beholdable form. I’m gonna try some practices tonight and see if I get any new results…I’m working through the path in Evoking Eternity now…,…thanks again for your help, your advice has been priceless.[/quote]

heh, I love it! Scrying into strange mediums is one of my favorite things to do. A hole in the ground, my underwear, a nail hole in the wall, bottle of wine … whatever - I’ve found some very interesting mediums to be sure. Two of my favorites are broken LCD screens and used motor oil with a bit of blood. :stuck_out_tongue: hehe

@DKM … You are delightfully QUIRKY. :wink: Z

Hey you all!

Like all the insights I get here thru you.

Guess we all chose the path, which gives us the most success. To deal with my life
life, I have powers on my own and don`t need spirits to help me out. But I go for information and here the right path gives it to me clearly. The demons are strong with material stuff, but playfull and cheaty, when it comes to information… lol…

The Northern Goddess Hell is my mother and she sent my up in the light to give a better understanding about her.

Each path is needed and has it`s own qualities, since we are all one, and therefore my deep respect to all of you.

I’ve started working with the Angelic powers listed in Evoking Eternity. I feel very close to them, now, like long lost brothers. I’m surprised that I feel so much comfort around them, being that I have pure hatred for christianity, and a low tolerance for any denial of fleshly pleasure. I’m not sure if or when I’ll call upon the demons, but possibly, because curiosity always guides me to new adventures and endless possibilities. I enjoy reading your responses and learning from your experiences, so please keep them coming.

[quote=“Joy, post:18, topic:122”]Hey you all!

Like all the insights I get here thru you.

Guess we all chose the path, which gives us the most success. To deal with my life
life, I have powers on my own and don`t need spirits to help me out. But I go for information and here the right path gives it to me clearly. The demons are strong with material stuff, but playfull and cheaty, when it comes to information… lol…

The Northern Goddess Hell is my mother and she sent my up in the light to give a better understanding about her.

Each path is needed and has it`s own qualities, since we are all one, and therefore my deep respect to all of you.[/quote]

Beautifully put JOY. And I’d like to add to that, if I may (for greater understanding in a general way) that, while many of the “Light Walkers” are seen in a rather disparaging way (due in large part to their own hypocrisy), that the Original path of the Light was fraught with pain & internal warfare, ostracization and little thanks. The True Mystics have paid their dues as surely as the True Sorcerer has. :wink: Z