I want to look in her eyes. I’m wonder if I will become obsessed or not. Will I have really bad consequences? We will see. Do you know who already did this? What happened to them?
I don’t see why there’d be a problem. 
You are a sovereign being. Keep a grip on reality and you’ll be fine. Nobody can force you to do anything including being obsessed without your permission, and if you slip up, you’re a magician, so you can always fix it.
Personally, I do find a consistency in these higher being’s eyes, they’re all golden and fiercely angelic looking… look at E.A.'s eyes. Like that only without the human layer.
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Problem is I really want to be possed or obsessed but it seems it’s impossible in my case. My psyche is so arranged that there is a lot of chaos in me. Literally like radiation, my energy shoots out in all directions. So I’m looking for something that can make me obsessed. It will bring stability and order to my chaos.
Obsession is a debilitating mental disorder, it controls you not the other way around, so it can really backfire. It usually unhelpful for a black magickain to lose control.
What if you look for focus and motivation instead to channel your energy into something productive? Amducias and Belial are good like that. I see why a solution is needed, I’m a bit wary of using the sledgehammer to crack a nut approach is all.
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