100% correct.
I see…
I’ll have to look more into that.
This is what I also recommend.
Make progress a priority.
Well I do make a priority, I study and do research practically all day on here and other places.
You also need to practice and develop skills.
The knowledge you are gaining has to be turned into power.
Knowledge can be useful in terms of being beautiful and consciousness expanding, but to truly gain more knowledge means you have to develop yourself to receive secrets directly from the spirits.
To develop yourself means you have to gain power, wisdom, and mastery through experience and contemplation.
I am going to say this upfront.
THERE IS MORE KNOWLEDGE AND POWER POSSESSED BY A SINGLE HIGH-RANKING SPIRIT THAN YOU COULD ABSORB IN 10 LIFETIMES.
MANY of the experienced and powerful people are GONE from the forum. SILENT. FUCKING KAPUT.
They are simply on their own paths, so much so that they cannot share anything of what they do.
If you’ve been studying, then one of the maxims is to KEEP SILENT. The experienced magi keep their works sacred.
You CANNOT expect to ONLY read books and obtain true knowledge. You must be willing to find your own experiences.
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I understand what you mean by that. I’m willing to put in the work so I will. I’m going to write down everything said tonight in my journal and figure out things from there.
Thank you, honestly.
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Blessings and Love be upon you. 
I sincerely want to see you make progress. 
That means a lot because I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this rant except to calm down so I really appreciate you and everyone else 
! Thank you so much- to everyone who offered advice and help.
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I’m newer to this but one thing i can tell you us meditate meditate meditate. I no your having a hard time with it and some do but i feel that could be one if your biggest issues.
meditation is key it really is. without being able to meditate ibdont think you will make it far in anytging although I could be wrong. so make that a priority for you. take 30 mins a day to do it. it will become easier if your getting angry while doing it then change your approach.
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results so if something’s no working change it
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We have to get a little lost to find ourselves. Just keep studying and practicing. Set concrete intentions. Make sure to study your thoughts and emotions, those are the basis of magick. If anger is what comes up during your meditations, you have two choices. You can find the triggers and dispel your frustrations in a healthy way, or you can channel that energy into your work. Either way you will eventually find the calm you seek. Make sure to do your inner work as well and identify beliefs and thought patterns hindering your progress. And don’t be afraid to ask for help!!
Best of luck, and well wishes on your path!
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