As mentioned in other posts, my family and I have moved down South. We went from living in the suburbs to living on a farm. This farm has been in my family for generations. I’d imagine that most of you might envy me, saying you would enjoy the sort of peace and natural quiet. But I feel differently.
At night, I tend to feel uneasy. I’m not sure why, or whether or not it has more to do with my mental health. The quiet bothers me, especially the heat. And the heat is by itself concerning because I find it hard to sleep without a heavy blanket. I’ve actually set up a night light. It’s like I’m a kid who’s afraid of the dark. Overall, I worry that there might be something malevolent on the farm. I perform regular cleansing and banishing rights, but I still don’t feel any difference.
In addition, my therapist says that I’m in a defensive mental state. I expect the worst out of people and feel the need to protect myself from them as much as possible. This has also shifted how I perform my craft in that I worry that any spirit I deal with will turn out to be malevolent. So, I feel like, whether socially or spiritually, I’m closing myself off from others.
I wanted to know if anyone has had this sort of problem, and if it’s a mental health issue than a spiritual one.
This is not uncommon. If you moved from an environment where ambient sound is common, like the noise of cars, or people, dogs, etc, to somewhere really quiet, it can actually make you feel anxious, uncomfortable, and even like you’re under threat. This is because you’re in an unfamiliar place, so all of your senses are on constant high alert.
It’s a natural thing most humans experience. When we go from a known, noise filled, environment, into a really quiet, unknown one, we all tend to become anxious, and a bit paranoid of the lack of sound, because it feels “unnatural” to us. However, the feelings of isolation it can engender can amplify any pre-existing mental health conditions, particularly depression and schizophrenia.
A few days isn’t really the same thing as actually living in a place. When you are just visiting, the intention you carry with you has a different energy to it than if you are permanently staying. It is very possible to visit a place every year of your life, and still not know anything about it. We humans very rarely get to know the land under our feet.
You most likely just need time to get comfortable in your new living situation. This sounds like a natural emotional reaction to a living in place in stark contrast to the populated suburbs. If i were you i would go out to a place that might seem a bit eerie and just sit there to become desensitized to it. Maybe try offering the land spirits there something like water to develop a healthier connection to the land
I would start meditating outside daily, and just attune yourself to where you are. Extend your awareness outward, and lightly touch your surroundings, and most importantly, let your surroundings touch your awareness. Don’t try to sense, or project anything, just passively allow yourself to soak it in. The idea is to let your mind connect to the environment so it can begin to know it.
Many years ago I lived on a farm for a while. I remember also feeling uneasy for some time, and randomly getting those bouts while living there. It didn’t feel spiritual however, but this was before I was a magician.
So, I would also think it is just normal. And if you are banishing and nothing changes, that is a good sign that it isn’t something spiritual causing it.
I noticed that people who live on farms and outside of the cities (and, from what I’ve read this isn’t just like this in my country) tend to be a lot more… well, supersitious. So, awareness and heightened fear of paranormal things tends to come with living outside cities for many.
I’d say just try to relax. @DarkestKnight gave excellent advice. At some point you’ll likely realize you’re the most dangerous thing there. As in, you’re not under threat. It’s good to face your fear and discover that.
If you still feel uncomfortable after giving yourself time to adjust, you can always do a small secret private ritual that basically goes something like… ‘hi spirits and ancestors, I’ve just moved in and have to been here right now and I’d like us to get along or at least live and let live’ and then you’d offer them something like some cultures do a bit of food or drink.
You’d say something like tomorrow I have to eat/throw out the leftover so they won’t be upset when you have to discard it or whatever. Then you should be good.
Don’t bother with a ritual though, if what everyone else had said works though because in that case it’s not necessary because then the likelihood of a spirit being there is virtually nil and in such case it’s a waste of time doing an unnecessary ritual.
many cultures traditionally offer to the dead though it’s (usually on a specific day or something like that in those cultures).
Add: I’m inclined to think it’s just being uncomfortable with the change and needing to get used to it like the others have suggested.
I had another though, as this is something I do as part of my ward system: I enact a protective circle around my entire house, as far out a I prefer, usually following the property line.
I save up the ashes from my charcoal tablets for this, then add asafoetida and a bit of salt (not enough salt tp poison he land, as the fae hate that and I’m not trying to piss them off: you’re going to have a lot of fae around). You could use black salt which is popular for protection. I mix this with intention to empower it as a barrier.
I then walk the land, making a circle with my energy and intention, see it glowing, and at the same time reinforcing that with handfuls of the salt mix sprinkled following that line.
You could also station thoughtforms at strategic points, gapes, gaps in fencing and tree lines etc.
If you’re being bothered because you’re sensing fae in the area, this should stake your claim… you’re not trying to keep all the fae out, only the unseelie. The friendly fae, you are letting them know you intend to take care of the land, protect it from evil, and work with them not against them.