I totally get what you’re saying as I have been willingly possessed before, but this has been very different. Eight months ago I was fine. I was a normal witch with satanic interests, and then everything changed. I lost literally everything, and suddenly every spirit I tried to call to was impersonated by them and made out to be horrible, I lost all contact with anything other than the parasites.
In February I went into a trance, got caught for stealing (Which is something I don’t do) and I couldn’t even remember walking to the store, or speaking to the police , but it still got me sent to jail, it was full blown amnesia. Not only that, bit since then I’ve been to the hospital three times, twice for my body literally simulating broken bones (Swelling, bruising, etc. even the doctors thought my leg was busted), but the x-ray came up clear. The other time was a double suicide attempt with my girlfriend because we just wanted to torture to stop. My life became a living nightmare. When the attempt happened something took over, even when I changed my mind I couldn’t stop it, I had no control over my body at that point. I’ve also gotten horribly sick with explanation, woken up with deep scratches, seen them via astral projection and a few times with physical manifestation.
I want to mention that I have DID, and as I said before have been willingly possessed. I started to notice that when the spirits they were pretending to be “Possessed” me, it started to feel like an Alter coming to the front, like I was switching. But, they were clearly not a part of me as I could also see them outside my head, and you can’t do that with other personalities. Not to mention that I’ve had my mom, my grandpa, and two hired psychics, tell me the exact same things about them, without me ever telling them a single thing.
I think they got in when started actively summoning demons, I’m 99% sure they’re some type of sentient, upper level, energy parasites that happen to be really good at energy manipulation. I believe that when I started not only opening that door, but busting it down, they just slipped in, pretty much uninvited.
Last night I did a ritual binding them in a box and warding everything, which if it worked, is the only thing that ever has for more than 24 hours.