In BDSM, I like to switch
How do you incorporate your spiritual work in your BDSM lifestyle?
I ask for the female dominatrixes in this forum
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Well I can’t help here since I’m a submissive but why not ask the male Dominants too they can help give insights as well. Are you Switching with male or female partners?
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No I meant switch as in, I like to be both sub and Dom, my partners vary
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Pick up a copy of the book Carnal Alchemy. It is all about the spirituality of BDSM.
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That was male or female or it doesn’t matter. My kid called for me and I threw it down. I know what a switch is I was just wondering what partners you have and what you your prefer.
For example I am by personality a very dominant female. But in a dynamic I have 0 dominant traits. So I am submissive and only submissive. My Dominant is a male. Etc. because the mind frame is different with the different sexes.
I follow an amazing female switch on Instagram but even then her Primary role if she was to enter a dynamic is submissive.
Just trying to figure out what mind set and energy. Since this post is way different then a conversation we had about a month ago.
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I am not a pro dominator, but I am also a switch.
My egregores are also switches.
I recommend the books Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott and Succubus Evocation by Faustus Crow.
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Hey @C.Kendall you’re a Dominant and have written a few topics on being a Dom in the occult.
Do you have any suggestions of a D/s relationship with Magick?
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Check out the book “Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and The Ordeal Path” by Raven Kaldera. It encompasses pretty much every aspect you could think of on the subject of spiritual BDSM.
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Also check out books by Raven Caldera.
Generally, as I am a Sadist into casual blood play, I accept the blood and the flesh as an offering, a kind of communion.
Another obvious type of play that can be very spiritually connected is worship. You don’t have to have a D/s dynamic for that, but the most surprising and most rewarding D/s experience I has was after a long paddling session at a party, and the grateful bottom, who was a slave-heart, spontaneously fell to his knees and worshiped at my feet.
What was different and I would say spiritual about this was the energy - huge warm waves of love and joy washing from him and into and over me. I had given to him, and here, he was able to still fulfill his role as a yang male by giving, and I was able to feel fully female in receiving, closing the circle. We had a connection and for a moment we were ecstatic in the interplay of complete understanding and acceptance, and nothing else existed. Quite amazing. He did that all by himself, I didn’t have to command, I inspired him and our connection and chemistry let it work. For a moment I was his Goddess, and I needed him for that as he needed me to give it to - separately we are not that.
I do think, you have to be careful, many self-styled BDSM “dominants” are anything but. They come to it out of a place of fear - of lack, insecurity, of rejection, of losing control. These people don’t bring spirituality into it but maybe lots of comforting ritual, and it’s difficult for the sub to feel thier worship is fully appreciated, only demanded as validation.
Disclaimer: “Dominatrix” means specifically a professional Domme. I am not a professional, I do what I do just for fun and there is no transactional quality to it in any way.
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You truly read my mind in all of this.
Vetting is super important. Just as there after fake doms there are fake subs too.
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i did not know, thanks for clarifying
somehow I had an inkling you were a Domme in BDSM
I also would suggest Dominant yourself first. This works as both Dom and sub.
You can’t dominate anyone else if you can do it yourself. You also can’t surrender and obey anyone else if you can’t surrender and obey to yourself.
Submissive is given it is never taken. There’s also a lot of responsibility in accepting that submission.
When I submit I am giving everything to my Master, mind, body and soul. For me to do that means I trust him more then I trust even myself. I go all the way to a slave state, but I am also only going to give my submission to this one man as well.
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Yeah totally.
I think I’ve been guilty of this, to be fair 
Some nice “sensual/gentleman dom” comes along - and lets face it that’s just the new “I like to be in charge” of 10 years ago before 50 Shades of Bullshit hit the mainstream - and I’ll totally throw my arms back and go "do me!.. to all the things!" and be a lazy fuck and just bottom until they run out of steam. (Woe betide them if they’re rude or do something I don’t like though.)
A suitably horny dude not that into the extremes will be delightfully forgiving of this though, he just wants someone that wants him back.
Dommes not so much, we generally dislike “do-me subs”. My friends are constantly complaining when a promising stud does the submissive-until-he-cums thing. I tend to not go for switches for the same reason.
I’ve had masos do the same, and it’s disappointing when they change personality and you feel like the whole thing was an illusion.
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I might if I was up for the responsibility, but I’m not super big into the idea of having to take care of someone. I’d have to be in love and that’s unlikely given I don’t usually mix sex and BDSM. I just do S&m pick up play in the local scene, I help run a munch which is all about the burgers and wine, and sometimes teach; I think I’m pretty bland about it 
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I could ask you questions for days since this isn’t at all my nature.
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I mean, if you want to PM I can happily be opinionated for days as well 
There’s some really good groups in fet I could mention that are worth lurking in to see lifestyle Domme attitudes as well. There’s a lot of variation as every dynamic is a little different.
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