Male from England.
Hi, I’ve been doing some research on here for a little while now and have decided to introduce myself and explain why I’m here and what got me into magic. I do waffle a lot though so I apologise in advance.
A few months ago I was in school studying for my A-Levels and had been offered a place at university to study engineering. Getting into the school was hard enough as I was in foster care and had spent a lot of time out of school due to being moved around to different foster placements, I had to teach myself my GCSEs and convince social services to enter me as a private candidate. I got through those exams and decided to apply for six form in a more affluent area which I had to commute too as I thought it would give me better support than my local schools. However when I got there I experienced a lot of bullying due to being poor and not having family. I was a good student though and tried not to let it get too me.
A few months before my final exams a receptionist who had been picking on me a lot throughout my time at the school called me several slurs and assaulted me in the school library. I’m trying to keep this short because it’s a long story but I’m transgender and the staff knew for safeguarding reasons, she would purposely misgender me and make comments, like asking me what my “real” name is and saying things like “you can’t change your gender”. I unfortunately had to deal with her a lot because I took one of my subjects at a different six form because my school was part of a consortium and so I’d have to walk past her to get into the building. I spoke to my head of year about it and they said to just ignore her. But yeah she ended up attacking me. After it happened she chased me out of the building calling me slurs and then I ran outside and phoned the police because I was genuinely scared. They showed up and the head teacher made us come inside, the police didn’t see it as a big deal and left saying they would come back. Basically the head teacher said “it wasn’t that hard of a push” and “she could lose her job” and said he’d review the cctv footage. The next day I was called into his office and the police were there, they told me they weren’t going to do anything and I asked if they viewed the cctv footage like they said they would the day before and they ignored me and left. The head teacher sent me home. My foster carer got a phone call on no caller ID, and it was the head teacher, he said if I don’t retract my statement he would exclude me and not let me sit my exams. I contacted social services and they met with him and said that was against the law. I mentioned the cctv footage and he lied saying that there’s no cctv in the library, which was 100% a lie because our school had cctv everywhere even in the boys toilets, we’d have to do these safety surveys every month where we would anonymously vote places we felt safest in and it was mentioned where the cctv cameras were. Long story short, the police didn’t care and the whole thing was brushed under the carpet. He didn’t formally exclude me but what he did do was say that I’m not allowed on school grounds and that if I tried to go anywhere near the school he would call the police and I’d be charged with trespassing. Social services didn’t do much and so I wasn’t allowed to take my exams.
My foster carer only allowed me to stay with her until I finished my exams because I had turned 18 in the middle of my final year and couldn’t get housing due to the fact that I was suppose to go to after my exams. If you don’t know how the foster care system works, you’re expected to leave your placement at 18 and live independently, as a care leaver I was entitled to priority housing but I’d only get to use this one time in my life, I had planned to go to uni and had my offer, so I wouldn’t even be living there that long and. I didn’t apply for housing because my leaving care PA (social worker) told me there would be no point and they wouldn’t want to give it to me because of the uni thing so my foster carer let me stay with her. After being informally excluded because I wasn’t allowed to take exams and social services couldn’t find somewhere for me to sit them, I got made homeless. I was destroyed.
I haven’t got family or friends, and had worked so hard to get to where I was, I took five a levels and had offers from Cambridge and Bangor university. I worked so hard man, just to have it ruined. I contacted police again and they basically said that they were happy to “let the head teacher conduct his own investigation” and they said “we’re pleased to confirm” that they didn’t do anything wrong. I was so mad and felt betrayed.
I’ve always been aware of witchcraft and spirituality. when I was a little kid I use to do this thing where I’d dream of things and then they’d happen, or I’d really want something and it would just come into my life somehow. Most nights when I was sleeping I’d “leave my body” I’d wake up staring at myself and I’d walk around my house. I’ve always had a really strong intuition and use to “predict” things as a kid, like I’d just know what someone was going to say to me or there have been multiple times where I’ve been able to tell that someone was pregnant before they themselves knew. The people around me just thought I was really weird. I also use to hear people talking even though they weren’t even in the same town as me and then when I’d meet up with them I’d repeat what I heard and they’d get creeped out. This was when I was in primary school. I grew up in a very abusive household and developed a lot of trauma and I believe I developed these abilities to help me survive my environment. As I got older though I started to lose these abilities and forget about them. One thing I didn’t lose though was my intuition. I’m really sensitive to energies, when someone walks into a room I can normally feel if they’re good or a bad person, I can also feel what they’re feeling sometimes. It makes it really hard to do things like walk down the street or deal with people because it’s like ik ur a bad guy but I can’t just act like you are because I have no “proof” other than what I’m feeling. And I either get so drained by people or I feel like their energies are rubbing onto me. My spiritual journey has been sort of on and off, when I was 11 I really wanted a partner and I had started looking into magic because I watched this show on Netflix called Sabrina which was about a witch, I also watched the craft. Of course ik these aren’t super accurate but it made me curious, I did a lot of research and discovered a black magic forum. I remember writing a letter stating what I want and praying to lucifer for it, the next day I got what I wanted, I got a message from someone I went to school with saying that a friend she knows who goes to another school wants to talk to me because they saw some meme that I had made and thought it was funny. We dated for 6 years and broke up during my time in six form. The thing is, whenever my mental health is bad, it seems like my manifestation abilities stop working and I start to attract negative energy instead. After my witchcraft phase when I was a kid I stopped researching and forgot about it however I had been unintentionally manifesting things up until today and id just say oh it’s a coincidence but deep down I knew it was manifestation.
I’ve waffled so much but what brought me here is that I got desperate, and during times where I feel like I’ve got no power and no option I turn back to spirituality because i feel like it’s all I’ve got. I’ve been couch surfing and before I left my foster carer gave me this camel plushie that she had got on holiday in Africa somewhere, and it only had one hump which I noticed cuz I thought camels had two humps. A few weeks later someone I was staying with asked me to watch a movie with them, they wanted to watch hereditary. And ik this sound silly but it made me start thinking about magic again, I know Hollywood movies about demons can contain a lot of misinformation but I wasn’t interested in the movie, I was interested in the demonology. The thing that made me think was the camel, this was the first time I had heard of King Paimon before and he reminded me of the plushie I had received before. We watched a video breaking down what the movie was based on and I was so drawn to King Paimon and wanted to know more. A few weeks after joined this sub, looking for more information as I was considering getting back into magic and I started to study King Paimon. I was considering doing a ritual but was worried as I thought that my life was such a mess it couldn’t get better and I had low energy, you know when u get depressed and just lose motivation. For some reason I couldn’t sleep and went for a spontaneous walk at around 4am through a nature reserve and I got lost in the woods because it was dark and I didn’t know where I was going, I just wanted to walk. After a few hours I was really thinking about King Paimon and I sort of said to myself in my head that I need a sign or something, and then I found this pebble in a tree with an eye on it and I was like yeah this is my sign.
When I got home I did a ritual mostly based on my own intuition and what I felt was right, I wrote a letter to King Paimon asking for guidance, I asked for help with my studies and career and I promised that I’d work hard and would give him whatever bottle of wine he leads me too after I get into university as a thank you. I made sure to be respectful and I put a tea bag inside and a copper coin. I sealed it and put his sigil on the front. I made a cup of earl grey tea and put sugar in it and left it as an offering with a cake.
To get into uni I have to sit my a level exams which are super expensive to do as a private candidate but that’s the only way I can get in. I was worried cuz I didn’t have the money and it would cost a couple grand, but a few days later I get sent this message with a job offering on it, a job as an engineer at a place down the road from me. I was over the moon. I applied and got accepted and start in November. I also got the energy and motivation out of nowhere to book a bunch of appointments to help with my mental health which have gone well so far. My life is getting back on track. Thats all for now and thank you for reading if you did.
Hail King Paimon
