Hello, everyone! You can call me Ess, and I’m a college student living in the USA. It’s a pleasure to meet you all!
I’ll try to keep this short and sweet:
I have little practical experience in magick. While I dabbled in tarot and astrology in the past (not without substantial doubts as to whether it was legit or not), and had some… interesting experiences throughout my life that I struggle to explain (a prophetic dream, seeing a ghost/shadow person/SOMETHING, I just officially started my journey a few months ago. After some interesting dreams, a synchronicity, remembering weird experiences I and people I know have had, and a seemingly successful ritual/evocation (of a kind, I guess), I’ve realized that my previous materialist, “magick/spirits/deities isn’t/aren’t real and you’re crazy/stupid if you think it is” viewpoint may not hold as much weight as I thought.
My current interests are divination, working with spirits/deities (esp. entities like Lucifer and Lilith, who I’ve always had somewhat of an affinity for), sigil magick, and learning more about my selves. You know, my higher self, my shadow self, and any past lives I might’ve had. I want to learn how to astral project and strengthen my clairsenses, as well, so I can do all of the above things more efficiently.
I’m currently struggling with figuring out what, exactly, I hope to accomplish, magick-wise. Do I want to be a white magician? A black magician? A gray magician? Am I better off following the RHP or the LHP (I’m leaning towards that latter)? And yes, I know these are arbitrary distinctions, but they have their uses. I’m also having some… I don’t know, philosophical/emotional issues with all of this? I’m struggling to overcome some nihilistic (?) and physicalist/materialist beliefs, as well as quelling some existential fears/doubts. Just kinda… in a rut, I guess. I’m working on it, though. Slowly but surely, I’m working on it…
Anyway, I look forward to learning from and interacting with you all! 