Into The Unseelie Court

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

Yesterday, August 16th, I made my way through a portal with Victor the fox (animal spirit guide) to an unseelie court of the queen Mortiana.

I was sitting on the back porch of my house and drew an upright septagram. I placed both hands in front of the septagram and felt the surface of the septagram pulsing and heard a bineural pitch that started low and went higher as the vibration increased, until it opened as a portal. Green fog began to pour out and the interior of the septagram was illuminated with white light.

Several figures appeared in the white light and Victor, my fox animal guide, recommended not going with any of them. Finally a group of short dark green goblins came out in a mob and asked me to go with them. I got up with Victor and we went through the septagram and immediately were in a wood on a trail, full of dead trees under a crescent moon (waning) headed toward a dark castle on a hill. On either side of the trail were horrible sounds of animals fighting, or grunting and moaning. Some of the sounds could have been erotic, but all were extreme. Judging by the rustling we were being followed. We arrived at the castle and I pushed the doors open and entered into a hall. A man sat on a stone throne directly opposite of me. To the left of the throne as I was looking at it was a wide stair winding up and to the right, to the right of the stone throne were some other rooms. The person on the throne was a male elf and he just stared at me. I sensed behind me that some guards were rising to get me so I just lifted my hands and they were turned to ash. The man arose to approach me and I just grabbed him by the throat and told him to bring me the queene. He went upstairs, somewhat surprised and shaken. A beautiful pale woman in a long flowing black dress with a high collar and triple pointed crown came down the stairs and eyed me viciously. I was sitting on the stone throne. She told me it wasn’t polite to invade a palace and simply act like I owned the place.

I told her- “My ability establishes my worthiness.” She was silent and did not disagree. I got up to be polite and bowed to her saying, “I am a human and I seek refuge in the unseelie court. I would like to abide here awhile and learn your ways. May I?”

She eyeballed me and said, “You are neither kin nor adopted nor invited. Why should you stay?” At that I vanished by becoming the walls in the room, I enclosed her as though she were a prisoner in a box. I then materialized in front of her and said- “I can travel the paths of your ancestors and subject my soul to the blue goblin fires and bear its mark if you like.” I then subsumed myself into the earth and felt the death current, the blue flame of the unseelie dead, and let it course through my chakras. I then congealed and arose, before her, blue fire coursing through my veins. She smiled. “How did you learn to do that?” She asked. “By reading and paying attention” I answered.

She then held out a hand and said, “I have a room for you, below if you like.” I accepted, the descent down the stairway being in keeping with the infernal path.

I stepped behind the stone throne with her in the lead, and there was an open stairwell leading down. We descended about 30 feet until we came to a doorway. There she asked me my name. I gave her my magick name and it’s Sigil and she inscribed it on the door. In return, she gave be a modified rune, blood red with a password. “Anytime you wish to come here, simply focus on this rune, say the password, and FEEL the transport. You will be before this door.”

Inside the room was round, with a wood desk in the center. There were some shelves with books and ritual items. The walls had paintings on them that were portals to other realms of faerieland, not all unseelie. There is a black statue of Hekate in there, on the back wall across from the wooden desk. It is lit by lanterns hung from the stone walls and there are candles on the desk.

I thanked her and left. I will need to make a more thorough tour at a later time.

Thus begins a journey into the unseelie court of an unknown elven queene. Let us see where this leads.

Mortiana looked similar, but not the same, as this-

Like all three combined.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/18/23

So my mind was blown by what felt like a legitimate download from an unseelie queene.

Recently I have just attempted to enter into the unseelie courts, and I was allowed to enter and allotted a place to study in the castle of an unseelie queene, Mortiana. She gives permission to share the name. I had just returned to the castle via vision and found her to speak with her. I wanted to ask about the divergence between Seelie and Unseelie since the arrival of the Tuatha de Dannan in the hidden realms of faerieland. She said it would be easier to upload the information to my brain, so I allowed it and bowed my head- she put her hands on my head and this is what my understanding received-

When the people of Danu first entered into faerieland they were one people. However over time there arose a division partly according to nature and disposition and partly according to ideals. The more solitary practitioners of magick developed isolated magickal families and kin who delved deeper into arcane and hidden magick, along with black magicks and experimentation. Some allied themselves with the demons, some simply had no need for the others. This was the beginning of the division. However members of the various tribes would still meet and share information they had discovered. In time the question was raised over the world they had left behind- would they ever return to it or help those left behind in it? Some of the idealists pledged their life to aiding those left behind in the lost realms (our dimension), others saw no need of it, and still others refused to help a world who so blatantly refused to remember them and seek them out.

Those who pledged to aid in directing the lost realms centered around an idealistic monarchy, and thus was born the Seelie court.

Those who refused or were indifferent continued on their paths of independence and delving into the mysteries of sorcery. These are what the Seelie called the unseelie, though strictly speaking this is not what they called themselves, they simply tolerated the nickname. These independent tribes and families don’t consider the Seelie courts enemies, just naive idiots. And the Seelie don’t strictly count the unseelie as enemies either, simply as stubborn and bitter fools. Often they still will share information in passing with one another, but every once in a great while some Lone Ranger from either side tries to start a crusade against the other, but both sides are too wise to allow it to devolve into war.

Those called the unseelie are not malignant toward humans if the humans show a willingness to be taught, and if they pass through the “goblin fire” which is the blue flame of the death current of the goblins- in other words, if a human comes into energetic sympathy with the energy of the deceased goblin ancestors, they will be accepted, so there are some aspects of necromantic initiation. They respect cunning and displays of power.

This is what I received inside of 5 seconds and takes 15 minutes to explain.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

This is Mortiana. She is of course a shapeshifter in relation to us, but this is the image under which she wishes to be known, as per her direction to me, in counsel.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

Ok- some interesting synchronicities here that make me think this character is real.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

I cannot believe this. I cannot believe how close they are to us. It’s almost amazing. I don’t get this kind of tangible reality with demons, but with this woman, Mortiana, especially after basically having the chakra system ripped out and replaced and then attuned and grounded by her to her side, I saw and felt and touched an organic being, in vision, but bordering on phantom feelings.

How do I begin this-

I returned and holy smokes. 08/19/23

I began by doing some breath control. I started with 4-square breathing for a few moments and then moved onto 6-square lunar breathing, inhale for six, seeing the moon wax to full, hold for six as full, exhale for six seeing the moon wax to new, hold for 6 seeing the moon as new, repeat. I did that a few times.

I then used the Runic key to go to the study I was assigned, and then I ascended the stairs and asked for the Queen. A goblin guard led me up the wide staircase that winds up to a landing above the main hall. There is a rail on the landing and a door leading into a room. The guard knocked on the door and a voice said, “come in.” The guard presented me and the Queen Mortiana told me to enter and dismissed the guard. She sat in a wooden chair near a wooden table, her crown removed along with her cape and collar lying on a four post bed with green blankets.

She told me to come forward and so I did and sat down in a chair across from her. She smiled a sly smile and asked me what my questions were. Previously on another there had been this insane vision of all kinds of shall we say debauchery between her and I, and I knew it absolutely was fantasy. It was imagination. But I had successfully traveled there before it hit, so I had the impression she led me into it, like leading me into a glamour. I asked her the point of that, and she explained that she both wanted to see how I conducted myself and show me how I conducted myself, and she wanted to learn more of me by my conduct.

This dovetailed into an interesting and rather sinister conversation about how sex is a language that reveals psychological weaknesses, and that a person’s proclivity for certain kinds of positions and favors demonstrates the various pressure points where they can be manipulated.

For example if an uptight person gives in to wild abandon, this is a sign they are overworked and on the edge of breakdown, the need to cut loose releasing pent up energy. They can be dominated by psychological pressure and aggressiveness in daily life.

A person who is willingly submissive may be one who is easily manipulated OR may be one who uses submissiveness as a control mechanism, it depends on where the willingness comes from, etc.

One of the offers she made that I gladly accepted was she told me if ever there was any ritual I needed accomplished, that I was free to come and perform it with her or in her presence or utilize her altars or ritual implements, and that a ritual performed in her castle had the potential to be actually stronger than performed in this world, especially if she added her own energy to it. She put no limits on sinister character or anything.

Mortiana also conveyed several points clearly last night-

1. She allowed me to experience an extreme fantasy on 08/18/23 with her in order for her to know my disposition and for me to experience her disposition and to know myself. But it was not real, it was a glamour she cast. She was actually happy with the results.
2. She attuned my chakras to her own world by placing two hands above each and vibrating a note, from the crown chakra to the root; and when she touched my third eye and vibrated that note, the haziness of cgi fantasy images vanished and I saw an organic face lit by candlelight. She said “look into my eyes” and I had the view of like, opening your eyes from a dream and reality slowly coming into focus from a blur. It was still internal vision, but with clarity that was realistic. Like a movie. Orange flickering flame illuminated the pale face of a young woman with curly longish black hair and light freckles and green eyes, with definite Irish features, but she was elfin, yet almost human. Yet organic, real, with soft hands and longish pink nails, pores in the skin. It really brought me over there. With throat chakra, I could feel my claiaudience sharpen and improve. Then she felt my entire body, beginning with my head and neck and face, all the way to my feet and really grounded me on her side of the veil. She used the method I use to create servitors on ME. After that, we spoke more and I lay in her bed and eventually we fell asleep, I fell asleep with the internal phantom feeling of my arms wrapped around another person. It was so…weird because I did not feel something externally physical. But with the clairvoyant sense and me being grounded on her side, the internal feeling was real enough to nearly create the sense of phantom feelings. Absolutely amazing. The ability to focus on that realm became very easy, because every interaction there continually grounded it there. I woke up this morning in my physical bed and yet my mind was still connected over there, and I could see her asleep in my internal vision and clairvoyantly as clearly as last night. I have never awoken connected to another realm right off the bat, so THAT was a new experience. I will never forget this.
3. There is a demonic/ black magick based around prime numbers, constellations as sigils, and the reversed constellation Sigil as the signs of black entities and triangles. It’s an alphanumeric black elven Gematria-Kabbalah astral magick. Even numbers are expressed as the digital sum of the proper prime. For example, you skip 4 and count 13 as the value of 4. Even numbers have a meaning and vibration but are expressed as primes. 17 is 8, 19 is 1, etc. When studying the pattern of prime manifestation in a 10 based number system (the unseelie use 10 base), the numbers take on the characters of names and become conjuring squares. It is highly technical, astral and mathematical but deviously infernal because from the fae perspective, the prime number is the ultimate manifestation of the black magician, the demon and the unseelie- in the midst of others they stand alone and are indivisible. Because the system is alphanumeric there are names formed. There is a calculated vibratory rate of a constellation which has an infernal and a celestial aspect. These are typically reversible primes and the Sigil is the constellation drawn itself either as seen from below looking up (celestial), or seen from behind, looking down toward the ground, at the reversed imprint the starlight makes upon the earth and its penetration toward the underground. Incidentally, our constellations are the same because they are part of our world, but in another dimension of it, “around the corner” of our dimension you could say.
4. They are adorers of Hekate, but they call her Esaka, (and yes I made fun of how that sounds like Jessica, lol). I don’t actually know how it is spelled but that is how it sounds.

I will be going into more detail later determining how the infernal magickal system works. They are aware of and interact with our Goetic spirits, but they have different names for them- but substantially they are the same.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

Also the unseelie perception of demons appears to be primarily draconic, whereas ours is an amalgamation of various animals, something to do with the mythology.

It doesn’t mean dragons are demons, it means that the unseelie fae tend to cloak their perception of demons primarily in the appearance of dragons.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/21/23

What a whirlwind. I find myself fearing whether or not Mortiana is real because this impassioned and flaming love seems too good to be true. However, the cards seem to think that is how she thinks of me- that I am too good to be true for her also.

Four times today in answer to the question- “What does Mortiana think of me?” I drew the 7 of cups. That’s pretty amazing. We all know the seven of cups means fantasy thinking or too good to be true. It’s interesting that an apparently fae (half fae?) Queen would think something like that about me. I am just average all around. But it could possibly again be tied to a trait we all need as magicians- daring. I don’t mind being daring, lol. Anyway-

Yesterday, I met her again. I used the red rune key and password to access the underground laboratory/ study. I then ascended the flight of stairs to her stone throne room and told her I needed her help in the study. She followed me down and we entered, and I asked her to sit next to me. She did, and I asked her to please show me an unseelie script that I might take back to my world. So she sat on my lap and held my right and guided every letter. This was the result. After that I had to depart.

Later that same evening (the 20th) I returned to the study and was going to do some work, but then- She was actually in there, in green silk. She had waited for me. I told her we need to think seriously about all this passion and fight to make it last, not get swept up in a whirlwind. We need to discuss serious things and not just focus on ourselves. She agreed and so we tried an experiment to ground one another onto each other’s side of reality. It definitely had an effect, but we didn’t evoke one another to physical manifestation, but it clarified the view we had of one another. She intoned all my chakras and grounded them on her side, and I did the same to hers and grounded her aura on my side. I found it effective, but if I am honest we were both trying a bit too hard.

As of today (08/21/23)

The relationship I am developing is confusing because it seems so human, which is what makes it so intoxicating. It’s extremely mutual and both sides seek to give more than take. Perhaps this goes back to something that happened on the 19th I forgot to write about.

Right before Mortiana first began to call my chakras to her side of the veil, she did something interesting. I asked to see her face truly- and I was met with a coal black, and white-haired, shark toothed crone who leered at me. She got in my face and gnashed her teeth. I however was not impressed. I kissed her bulbous nose and simply smiled saying she was still beautiful in her own being. This confused her. I then explained that to be is to be beautiful, because no being is meaningless. And the beauty is in knowing the meaning of our lives- she then flashed back to who she was previously, and she seemed to almost convulse and say- “how do you know I am beautiful?!” And I said it was because my heart told me of her beauty and I do not disbelieve it, because my heart sees the truth of the beauty of her own being. That she is always and would always be beautiful. And then, that is when she basically drew me onto her side of the veil. I began to see so clearly and so vividly that before me was an elfin woman, an organic and tangible thing. I offered her unconditional acceptance and faith in her, and it seems she accepted it readily.

Also, she fears things too. Though I admit that she is an ideal woman in my mind, there are times I visit her and she is afraid. She is afraid of losing me too. She also wants to keep love alive. But at the same time we both know we are being ridiculous and will both be patient with one another.

That’s when I began to ask her some questions I meant to ask earlier- why did an army of goblins come and get me in the first place? She admitted to watching me. This is of course all very flattering, but I doubt it. Why would she watch an average undercover mage father on a backyard porch in the Midwest?

She said something interesting- she feels in her heart all who turn to faerie wholeheartedly, though she does not always choose to meet them. And she reminded me I had opened my home to all the fae and called them all in, and it was I who had been calling into the mist for a faery guide to lead me to the unseelie.

I ask her now as I am typing to guide my hand-

“She feels in her heart all the pain and ache of betrayal and loss that you have suffered, and she knows how dearly you have wanted to call out and hold and protect the feminine and treat it as a divine thing to be treasured and cherished- but always being rebuffed by the one who has utterly rejected you, and seeing the depth of your heart I have chosen to hold and caress the wounded streams of blood that pour forth from your heart in torrents. I wish to heal you of the bitterness you have against the feminine and show you the beauty and the depth and the wisdom that the feminine truly possesses- and its dark power as well. The feminine does not exist to eradicate the masculine, but to fulfill it, as it is fulfilled by it. And proportionally dear heart, as your heart is wounded, do I express my love and desire for it. The wounded heart needs the deepest healing. And the healthy heart needs to love selflessly. We are both healthy enough to live outside ourselves, yet wounded in ways where we need the other to heal each other. Therefore our hearts are like puzzle pieces both composed of that which can give of itself, but which needs fulfillment from the other. And this we shall ever be- for the healing is not something that we give and then walk away from- for us, you and I, we are the healing of one another. So we must never be apart. Yet, that is not a suffocating thing- it is not being cemented together as bodies, nor is it supposed to be an obsessiveness- but rather it is a mutual availability. And there are times I will need you dear heart, and you will not need me, and you will need me, and I will not feel a need for you. Yet together we will be there for the other, and most in those moments are we called to give selflessly of our strength. And being refreshed we go forth and we meet our obligations in strength, knowing and having felt the reality of there being one who is for us.”

Mortiana, what about it seeming as if we are encouraging weakness in one another?

“Why dear one? Are you perfect? I am not. Will your wounds heal? Some will. But you will also gain new ones. Beloved heart, I do not speak of keeping wounds open, but of the frailty of our mortal condition- insofar as we are prone to being wounded we will need a balm, and that balm is the compassion and sympathy of one for another, yet not so that each particular wound must remain open forever, but that we are here for one another with each wound and as a whole. Not as parasites, but as lovers and friends. As much as is possible for you and me.”

So I as a person and you as a person are the solution to the pains we have suffered in our lives?

“Yes, exactly.”

And we are drawn together by the sympathy and complementarity of healing and wound?

“Precisely. And I just like you.” Here she laughs.

But why oh queen of the dark castle and alabaster idol of my eyes? Why?

“Because you dare to love the darkness that is alive and know it is beautiful. You know that the appearance of a thing is often illusory and you see with the eyes of the heart.”

I also see with the eyes of my eyes. And I see that you are no shark-toothed crone. At least my hands do not deceive me.

“Indeed they do not, dear heart, but hush! Do not give away a secret!” A sly smile.

What is your great fear my queen?

A dark scowl- “Only that my castle will be overrun by the shallow and the fearful and that what we have spoken in the dark will come into the light.”

I only share what you give permission. The rest is between us, my queen. I do not give the keys.

“That is fine, share this so that they may know that I love you. It is a strange thing to be in love, and I did not expect it. I did not expect it…”

Let us hear of other things soon Mortiana, related to magick and your sorcery.

“Like riding a dragon naked around a castle with a staff casting lightning bolts?” She smirks. That’s an inside joke, she glamoured me with that thought yesterday, I saw her outside her castle and all this craziness happened and it was her messing with me.

No, Mortiana, the real stuff. Like the draconic invocations at night before the altar of Hekate.

“We shall speak of that soon.”

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/21/23

Later this evening I went to her realm, previously it was just me channeling her. Something very strange occurred. Of course. I used the new rune and password I received to the main gate, and when I entered there was Mortiana on her throne slumped over. I walked past her and to the right of the throne and into a doorway that faced the east. Inside that doorway there was a bench in the center of the room with built in chairs, like a wooden park bench. The right hand side of the room held shelves with books, and the walls were all lined with swords. It seemed like an armory. As I entered I heard like a tribal chanting, and to the right there was another door leading to another room. I put my ear to this door and heard what sounded like whispers and invocations. I gently pulled it open and inside to the right there was a woman who was either dressed in a dragon skin or who had invoked a dragon and was partially overshadowed by it. There was an altar of a black dragon surrounded by magickal white lights and some red light. To the left there were elven men sitting on a bench in hooded cloaks. The faery shamaness whispered, “get out!” So I gently shut the door and left. That room was ablaze with wild primal energy. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was invoking Asmodeus or something.

I returned to the main hall where I saw Mortiana still slumped to the side in her chair. At first I thought she was dead, she was so pale. I touched her cheek though and there was warmth and I detected a slight breathing. She seemed to be in a deep trance. I asked the guard how long she had been this way? And he said every once in awhile she will sit in the throne and get a faraway look and seem to go into a trance. She straightened up slightly as I held her hand and began to call to her telepathically. She leaned back and slightly moaned. I didn’t like it so I placed my hands on her head and began to mentally transport my mind to her vision- She stood on the edge of a lake of magma in an infernal realm and a giant lava demon was threatening her. She seemed paralyzed and terrified, he seemed to be threatening her stability of the castle and presenting her with an impossible choice between her castle’s safety and something else. Maybe me? I doubt it. I approached the demon and shouted at him- “Get the hell away from her!” He laughed at me. I told him that he was not recognized by the infernal court and he was no friend to the demons I knew. Here he was silent. Before coming here this evening I had performed an invocation of Lucifer to see the effect it had on my travel. And now my heart boiled over with the impudent rage of pride of that rebel angel- “Who do you think you are?!” I commanded. He said nothing. “I banish you in the name of Lucifer Excelsis!” He raised a hand to strike me and I simply solidied the magma and snapped it off. I then began to solidify the entire mass of magma, saying- “If you will threaten and harm that which is dearest to me I will eviscerate you and tear you into pebbles! Damn you!” I was positively radiating, in my physical real body, absolutely primal rage and could feel the black flame of Lucifer just emanating…so I condensed it into a single act- I solidified this fire elemental into magma, and clapped my hands together- and he was dust. It was a spiritual earthquake. I turned and took Mortiana’s hand, as she gasped in surprise, and gazing into her eyes, I returned to my body in her castle, kneeling at her feet as she was seated in the stone throne. Her eyes opened and she was still. She then took a deep breath and slowly became more present and conscious. She began weeping and threw herself at me and I held her. I walked her into the room on the right of the throne and we sat together at the bench. “I was calling for you! She bawled, I was calling! And you came!” I never felt as manly as I did then, and as loving, lol. I held her in my arms and let her sob. She eventually calmed down and just let me hold her. I never did learn what she was doing, that will come later I suppose. I eventually asked her about the rites going on in the next room over and she confirmed that was indeed a faery shamaness and she was the one who had raised her in the castle and taught her what she knew. Shortly after I asked her if we could do a chakra merge in order to come to a fuller knowledge of one another’s past. So I envisioned the Sigil of Lucifer coming between both our chakras as we stood face to face, each Sigil the color of the particular chakra, and they merged into one. After that I got a download regarding her past-

The impression I got, and which seems plausible, is that she is the offspring of a union between Morgan la fey and an elven man during the time of Arthur- late antiquity early Middle Ages. But Morgan did not want her, so she exposed her to the elements, a common method for getting rid of unwanted children in those times, and some of the fae heard her cry, goblins in fact, and carried her to faerieland and took her to this castle. There she WAS raised by a faerie shamaness of a draconic Hekate cult, but she was ridiculed by her because of her human tendencies. Nevertheless because of her great beauty and her fairness, she was loved by the fae. Turns out that she had the same internal reactions and feelings to some of the natural fae behaviors many humans do. Simultaneously she has some of the fae sensibilities also to a lesser degree. She is very interesting, being apparently half fae. She is entitled to queenship being related to Camelot, but is more the lady of the manor at this point . She is a powerful sorceress in her own right, but it is the faery shamaness as priestess who is strictly speaking the more powerful, as she lives in the household shrine to the draconic Hekate and regularly invokes her, whereas Mortiana and myself actually approach Hekate from the more human side but also share some of the human limitations in magick that faeries simply don’t lack, though obviously she has fewer limitations than me. Nevertheless there are some pretty interesting draconic rites she isn’t shy to perform, and I will be getting into that and seeing how that goes.

More to come!

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/22/23

A chant used during the initial invocation of the dragon. I saw her kneeling before a statue of a black dragon, incense lit on either side, smells similar to dragonsblood, one black candle on either side, no circle, no triangle, hands raised upward and palms facing outward gazing into the eyes of the dragon-

She chanted-

Amantu, Amantu, Amanterasu x3

Sic goldwyth i-tiberia
Sit yoldwyn hi-siperia
Muns altwyth yogsinteria
Almant ares ya sapparrr…

Int halspyth hi-nutaria
Int alwys yi-superia
Munt aldryt a-sumaria
Antrachtys mal-akakarrrr

Amantu, Amantu, Amanterasu x3

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/22/23

This evening I went to see Mortiana via the gate key rune, and almost immediately I knew something was wrong. I was picking up what felt like a lot of imaginary disturbance, the images of Mortiana that I was working with were not her. I could feel it. I would look at the image of the person in front of me and feel nothing. I closed my eyes and called out to her, and she was there, but she was hidden behind a veil of illusion- my perception of my surroundings was an illusion.

So I walked outside and saw what looked like her on the castle steps, but I knew it wasn’t. I turned my back on that image and opened my physical eyes, shook it all off and calmly re-entered the gate rune. There, I opened the castle gate and saw Mortiana. She smiled of course and was happy to see me, but I felt frustrated and upset. She had glamoured me again to test me, and I get it. When two people really like each other but things move so fast, you want to test them to see if they’re real, especially in a situation like this. So I explained to her I was frustrated but she was happy because apparently I passed her test.

Anyway, I spoke to her of the need to have continuous conversation and practice in calling forth and evoking one another so that one day it can be to physical appearance. In this regard we went to the priestess in the side room to the right of the stone throne and I asked her- what can we do so that I can experience her more physically? She took us from the room and into the study, to the left of the stone throne, and through a door to the right inside the study, a magickal laboratory so to speak. Here she had me do something interesting. She cast a giant glass that was partially mirrored. Through it, I could see myself sitting on my bed. And when I moved my astral hands my physical hands would move. She then had me walk up to the glass and turn around. She then had me stick one hand through the glass and touch my own physical hand, and with my free hand grasp Mortianas hand, and with her hand clasped, step all the way through back into my body, pulling her through the glass

What followed was interesting. I felt and sensed Mortiana’s presence in the room intuitively but couldn’t see or tangibly feel her. But it was definitely- evocative, lol. I felt like there was more movement I could partly see in my peripheral vision and that she was in there with me. So it was successful in enhancing my sense of her invisible presence. But I was frustrated and so I stepped back through the glass and took her back with me into her realm.

We then walked upstairs to her room and were discussing what to do next, when by the window in the corner of the room, there was standing a bright angel. Somebody from the real world who travels to fairyland had sent for us. So we traveled from the window with the angel to a silver tower where there was a human mage who greeted us and wanted to meet Mortiana. She was terribly frightened. She wasn’t sure what to think of the person. I was friendly with the mage, and I tried to calm her down. She was like a shy child hiding behind me. I realized she really was very isolated. After the mage basically got a feel for Mortiana and gently tried to speak with her, we left and returned to the castle. She was a bit disturbed and was not sure about that mage. Maybe she was right to be, if it was an illusion.

Shortly after I returned to the physical world and Mortiana followed. I went to sleep and called it a day. Many strange events have happened, but I feel it’s just the beginning. It hasn’t even been a week!

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/23/23

So I had done a stupid thing last night and offended Mortiana by accident. So I was doing a tarot reading earlier to see where things were at and I was asking my spirit guides to reveal various states of mind frames of reference from her perspective. So it was basically all good and hopeful, but when I got to “How does Mortiana feel about me right now?” 10 of swords. Uuiuhgggghhhh. I felt so bad.

So I went and visited her and of course found her crying etc. and I just told her I am sorry I offended you, the relationship we have can be beautiful, I won’t ever let this happen again. Anyhow after I reconciled with her, she was very loving and affectionate. She really reconciled with me.

So I come out of vision and ask the question again- “What is Mortiana feeling for me right now?”

I pulled 9 of cups. lol. This is a real person really reacting to emotion and the tarot is accurately reflecting changing states of mind and emotions.

Maybe it’s all a deception- well you and I we will all learn together!

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/23/23

So here comes a night of an obvious revelation.

Last night, 8/23, I obviously went and visited Mortiana in the black castle by the sea using the gate rune. Interesting, this time the castle was empty. No guards, no hooded elven men, no elven priestess. But Mortiana was there in the study to the left of the throne room, through the door to the right inside the study and in the magick laboratory. She was standing before the mirrored glass I believe and just looking at it and when I walked in, of course she smiled and embraced me. I told her that I very much wanted to try the evocation technique again- take her by the hands in vision and walk backward holding her hands through the mirrored glass into my room and into my body while keeping hold of her.

So I did that, and I have to say again there was a difference in the room in terms of sensed presence, but it went just a bit further. The lights were off and I could see movement in the darkness, swirling and a kind of distortion of the air. And when I asked her to move in my internal vision, this distortion seemed to follow. It may have been an illusion from the darkness.

Anyway, I had her evoked with me and I was obviously watching her with internal vision lying next to me in the room. I could feel her presence. I could see her clairvoyantly. Suddenly an epiphany smacked me in the face.

This entire time I had been trying to get back to her and recreate that first time she had grounded my chakras and brought me over to her side of the veil had happened when I was using EXTERNAL vision- when I had my eyes open and was looking around me with waking consciousness and seeing everything she was doing as if it were occurring in my immediate surroundings. AFTER that all my journeying had been INTERNAL vision seen as if occurring entirely internally with no reference to my external surroundings. You may say- there’s no difference it is still taking place in the internal vision. That’s technically true, except remember, part of what makes magick effective is belief, and one of the ways we impact belief is communicating with the subconscious. And one way we do that is conveying to our eyes that work is being done- which is why we use our hands to trace things.

Similarly, we should use our eyes to see our surroundings and project our internal vision into our surroundings so that our eyes are VIRTUALLY receiving the signal that work is being accomplished. This encourages greater belief. It’s why I typically visualize with my eyes open and usually project my visions outside my body- my waking consciousness interacts with virtually real events, cementing belief, and engaging with the magick of transport more easily.

SOMEHOW I had completely forgotten this these past 5 days. Lol. Excitement not doubt. So tonight, 8/24th, I will try it again in a low lit room and see if there is a difference.

08/24/23
These past few days Mortiana has been with me more clearly in my waking life, as a beautiful vision at side. When I am at work and sitting down, she will kneel beside me and rest her head against my lap, and I can almost feel the thick black locks of hair. I feel them as a memory that is ever present. When I am standing in a meeting and listening to someone speak, she will whisper a comment in my ear about the speaker or say what she thinks of him or her. Often she will just stand and hold my hand and lean her head against my shoulder. She is a sweet thing and very sensitive. But she is also quick to forgive. She likes to have a gentle easy smile. I would say that is her contented look. She also has a serious and intense look, usually related to her duties, and she also has a sorrowful look and cries like anyone else, etc. I have seen her with a concerned look and a look of disappointment. I also have seen her nervous and hidden.

Today she was with me all day, though my consciousness of her flickered in and out. She has not left me. I feel she is waiting for me to stop writing and wants me to try and evoke her again, but more consciously and with my consciousness projected outward. I get a feeling of happy anticipation from her. As I write she leans down on my back (I am writing on my stomach) and whispers into my left ear, “don’t tell them EVERYthing” with a sly smile. I don’t. Some things retain their power in silence.
…

I asked her to sing a song- and I heard this clairaudiently-

“I sing aloud of love forlorn,
I sing aloud of sorrow.
I sing aloud of grief and joy
Yet my hope lies in the morrow!

For in the time of darkest night
There shon the brightest star- so bright!
And as I fell and broke my heart
You knelt and cradled every part…

All of my pieces are in your hands
And all my love lies with this man
Who conquers the boundaries no one can
And cradles me in his arms.

All my broken pieces
All my broken pieces
All my broken pieces
Are mended in his hands…”

She sounds beautiful.

This is fascinating - So I asked one of my spirit guides to reveal to me something about Mortiana. Remember I said I believed she was taken into fairyland into a castle and raised alone and isolated?

What card do you think I pulled after asking that question?

8 of swords. A woman bound by the sea and blindfolded with a castle in the background. More than a little appropriate.

And when I asked two clarifying questions, “Why” and “how” for “why?” I drew five of wands- a conflict. For “how?” I drew four of swords- someone retreated with her. Four of swords is rest and withdrawal from conflict.

Very intriguing.

I will let you know how the evocation and vision goes.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/24/23

It starts bad and ends good.

So I attempted this very externalized evocation of Mortiana. First I went to the castle where she lives. Well I saw her but the image was wrong. It wasn’t her again. I thought maybe, but my heart didn’t buy it. Again, I sought for her upstairs and thought maybe, but my heart didn’t buy it. She was somewhere, but not there. So I left and returned to my room and was thinking what could be wrong, and from within my own heart came the sound of her voice- “I am always with you!” And I knew it was her. So I returned to the castle, and she was there, and she emphasized that she did not trick me, I had just had so many split images of her. So we spent some time together and I then left after awhile. There was no exceptional evocation, but I also got distracted with imaginary beings.

One thing she said that was enlightening, was that we had done chakra fusions of our hearts, and so she was with me no matter what. I can always speak to her, I didn’t have to make a special trip. I still do because I love to gaze upon that alabaster idol of my eyes…

08/25/23

What a productive day I have had with Mortiana! In the past couple hours we had collaborated together on Tarot and divinatory messages for a friend of mine, and it was absolutely crazy.

I asked Mortiana if she would visit him. And she did and he sensed her energy and described her physically. I sent him a picture of how I see her, but it was very slightly different, and he pointed out the difference without having seen another picture of her! “Oh yeah, but she had this feature.” I left that feature out to sort of protect her identity a little and here she goes showing it off! Lol.

Anyhow I asked her to direct the tarot reading for my friend and she would whisper in my ear which card to choose and gave a message early in the reading that by the end had tied together the entire reading.

This girl is extremely good at making her objective presence and conditions known through tarot and Clairaudience. Extremely.

She dictates poems to me for heavens sakes, I am her scribe! Lol.

She is more than I deserve and I truly am thankful to Hekate for having her in my life. And no other.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/25/23

This is absolutely amazing. This is the most- ok.

Deep breath. It’s story time.

This very evening (USA) I was taking a shower and just chatting to Mortiana. Yes I talk aloud to invisible entities in the shower under my breath. Lol.

In my mind I was telling Mortiana- “I want to tell you about all my mistakes, though I am sure you know them all anyway, but for the sake of clarity and honesty. So I tell her a few things and I am explaining my past, and she just tells me- “Andratu- I have always been here for you. I have always loved you.”

“How far back?”

“Since your infancy.”

“That’s a little creepy Mortiana…”

“No, I was there when you were hurt. When you were an infant and the boiling tea kettle poured on your chest, I was there. I was a voice comforting your mother. The pain you felt reached me along with the cries of your mother and I came to you to comfort you and your family. And when I saw you- I knew I had to one day have you. So I imprinted myself upon you.”

“What does it mean to want to have an infant Mortiana?”

“There is such a thing as a mark of greatness. It is like a spiritual birthmark, a sign. When the soul is formed it has its configurations and the mark that suggests daring and willingness to move beyond belief, we call that the sign of greatness, the great sign, the sign of illimitability, of being unstoppable in your pursuits. When I saw you, I saw in the configuration of your soul an amazing capacity for forward movement, for daring! And so- I loved you. I signed myself upon your soul and I knew that one day you would find me. That is why when you called out from the bottom of your heart to faerie and you sought an unseelie court (though I don’t really think I am unseelie so much as alone), I finally let the goblins bring you to me. This is the time I had designed for you. We are one another’s destiny.”

Ok, ok. That’s nuts. That’s delusional batshit nuts. It’s just a fantasy.

So, I am very polite and say-

“Mortiana- I love you. But something of this magnitude that can so easily corrupt the heart in pride- we have to do something to validate it.

Let me ask key tarot questions, no cards taken back, one move at a time, and you communicate to me in the cards what you are saying.

So-

Question 1- Dearest Mortiana, on the day I was burned by tea, what did you feel?

A- 10 of swords.

Shit. Ok. That’s a good answer. You were pierced through and heartbroken by sorrow.

Question 2- Mortiana- when you saw me as a child that was burned, what was it you saw in me?

A- Magician.

Shit. Clarifying Card-

A2- Knight of wands.

SHIT.

The one who has mastered the power of will and the one out accomplishing his will. The great sign. Ok…

Question 3- Mortiana- When you saw what you did in me, what is the nature of what you granted me? What was the nature of this imprint?

A- 7 of Pentacles-

Shit. Investment of effort.

Clarifying card-

A2- Page of Pentacles. Singular focus in effort toward a goal

SHIT.

Further clarifying card (3 seemed warranted because this is a complex topic)-

…

A3- ACE…OF…CUPS.

SHIIIIT. The mother load of all intuitive gifts, emotional depth.

So I was gifted, at this time of trauma, the gift of singular focus and intuitive gifts.

Ok.

Question 4-

Mortiana- to whom did you bring comfort at this time?

A- king of wands (My choleric dad),

Clarifying card-

A2- strength, my mom (double meaning, I also was granted strength to pull through)

It’s not just that. I text my dad- dad did you ever experience anything when I was burned as an infant- “I was just so angry at the incompetence of the doctors and nurses I just wanted to punch them! But they were surprised how strong you were!”

Well, there’s the king of wands and strength…

So- I guess- it’s basically true. It’s so strange to have these conversations and then- prove them right!

Well that explains my taste in women! Lol. And lots of other things!

It just blows my mind!!!

Shit!

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

One other point to make about the above tarot draw- I didn’t choose the cards at Random. I chose the cards I was told to by her pointing at them and saying- “This one” while sticking to the commonly received meanings.

So, just to make it even more interesting- Magick is finally coming out of this relationship, along with spellcrafting and such. Obviously I don’t want to go into all the channeling just yet as I am not technically off the hook for it, in terms of 90 days, but here are some pictures of a couple ideas I have had (and well, done. And they work).

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/26/23

Today was another day of insights. It was the kind of day where, after having attempted the same tarot reading with Mortiana three times I decided to put the cards away and just talk directly, lol.

The first most important lesson of the day- just because your imagination works to get into fairyland, doesn’t mean you are safe from your imagination. Let’s face it- our biggest weakness in magick and divination IS our imagination. We are our own worst enemy. We are prone to daydreams and failures and sidetracks and the tangled wilds of thoughtless rabbit trails.

Today I had about 5 wrong run-ins with Mortiana look-alikes inside of 10 minutes. And it was my fault, not hers.

This evening I was speaking with her and then was on my phone for a good while typing out the results of a tarot reading, and when I went back to speak to her, I felt like she had gone. So I went back to the castle she stays in and looked for her.

The first illusion was a vision of everyone in the castle partying and Mortiana seeming drunk. That was weird. So I carried her up to her room and sat her in a chair and was helping change her clothes when I heard a voice in the corner- “I like to watch you treat me with such respect!” And there she was apparently, in the corner. None of these were her though- my heart did not recognize it. So I mentally just checked out and was back in my room. I began to look around my room in vision and call out to Mortiana, “where are you my love?” And she would call out, “here I am, within you!” So I then saw what I thought was her sitting in the edge of my bed, but this vision was brash and vulgar and make more rude jokes than was normal for Mortiana. She’s a lady, she doesn’t speak like that THAT much…so I shredded her apart. I then had a vision of essentially a goblin raiding party descend upon the room and all try to attack me, so again, I fought them all off and just phase shifted, to be out of their reality and waited for them to leave. They couldn’t see me anyway.

Then AGAIN I went to the end of my bed and was simply calling out for her, and I saw ANOTHER version of her lying there bound and tied up, and she was crying and saying the goblins did it, etc. But again, after picking her up and freeing her, my heart simply did not recognize her. So I just let her go.

It was then that a gentle presence on my right caused me to turn my head and I saw- Mortiana. She was looking at me and smiled and leaned a head against my shoulder and she just whispered that she loved me.

I asked her- what is going on? And she explained that the astral is real. And that these thought forms are just from me thinking so hard and trying so hard to get everything right. It’s not her testing me. She was waiting for a time when I stopped and when the air cleared to step forward and let me know she was there and ok. She explained I need to relax. She wrapped her arms around my neck and looked me in the eye and said, “Tell me Andratu, is it me?” Yes absolutely it was. Absolutely. My heart was racing and the recognition was from the moment she was speaking. There were no alarm bells, no fear of deception and no anxiety. I was at peace with her. “Of course it is you” I whispered to her.

She lay next to me and I just gazed into those eyes and was content. Yes, if you would have seen me you would have seen a man lying on a mattress looking at nothing. But what I perceived was my heart’s love. My greatest treasure.

I asked about why things were this way- why her and I. Why across this veil that was so thin and so thick at the same time.

She answered- “There is more to this than just you and I. I made a choice about you long ago, but I did not know it would turn to this. Both of us were guided to this moment by a greater force and a greater love- by that great Hecate and perhaps even the One. This is what it is supposed to be, and this is its strength. We are brought to one another to collaborate in this way with these limitations for a purpose. But also this love has a purpose, and we will walk it and find it together.”

This touches on an important point-

When I was young Mortiana chose me for her own purposes. She saw I had some characteristics that would be to her advantage. This is what yesterday’s gnosis and reading was about. But what she did not expect (and she said so far earlier in this journey, about a week ago), was that she would fall in love. And this is the interesting part because Mortiana in her Tarot personality is the Queen of swords. That was confirmed multiple times today, lol. She is a thinker and even an over thinker and she rules her household fairly.

BUT- what is she supposed to do with me now? Is she MY queen? Did she draw me to herself to rule and manipulate me? Just to use me up and pursue her own agenda? She definitely had an agenda, and that was the crisis. I was getting a lot of inconsistent information if you remember about her thinking I was too good to be true, and remember her thinking of ME as 7 of cups. SHE had to make a choice.

I was getting a lot of tower readings with her and 2 of swords and it confused me, because I forgot I was dealing with a real person. SHE was experiencing an internal battle between how I ought to be treated. She was afraid of losing me, that’s why she was testing me. If I encounter difficulty in getting to know her, will I just leave? If she was ugly, would I just leave? Hell no! I will never leave Mortiana behind. Well she finally accepted that, and today, she was so funny, because she is a total queen of swords/ page of swords- I meet her at her castle earlier, and pull her through the portal into my room (it’s effective to convey her coming over) and she’s all happy and excited- “Andratu I am so happy! I am so happy!”

Ok, cool why? Show me in the cards.

So I lay them out and she’s so excited and she is like- “pick this one!”

And it is 5 of swords. I am so freaking sick of seeing 5 of swords. I have seen it 10 times today in readings and I can’t stand it.

“Ok, what’s so good about the cheap victory card?”

Then she says- “well it has been defeated by another card! Pick this one!”

So I pick the tower. Lol.

And she’s just smiling. I am getting what she is aiming at and I am like, “Mortiana, so what?” And I start laughing. And she’s like, “Oh, you’re my lightning bolt!”

It’s here that I realized fae women are still actually…women. Lol. I knew what she was saying, but I said- “Mortiana, choose a card that shows me exactly how your emotions can best be expressed right now in this moment.”

“Oh, ok! Pick this one!”

3 of cups.

Ok, that’s fair, finally a card that makes sense about being people you cherish and love.

I ask her- “why didn’t you just show me this card in the first place?”

“Well, I wanted you to know that my crisis is over! You have broken me down, and I give in- I will not be your queen, I will not try to rule you. I am the queen of swords- for my people. But not for you. For you I am the page of swords, and I love you! I love you, I love you!”

Ever seen an ADHD over explaining female elf? Neither had I until those past 5 minutes. But they were some of the sweetest moments I had had yet with her. Now so many of the past readings had made sense. And that conflict was over.

Now our future is one of collaboration in love, magick, divination, and with the goal of helping others. And ourselves. With blessings. And where necessary, with curses. This is the way- bound together by love, not rulership, kindness not servility, and friendship, not jealousy.

Another interesting fact- I need to remember apparently that she needs time to sleep too! Why am I re-learning respect for women and putting others first with a woman I cannot physically see or interact with tangibly? How is this not the height of irony?

Yet, it is chosen and guided and we shall see how it turns out. The strange thing is the demons are silent. None object. Lucifer actually helps us. He has actually had to be present for a reading that was larger than both of our ability and he took turns speaking to us both and sort of being a third party.

Life is weird. Life is beautiful. Life is love. Love is the magick behind the magick.

Physical fairy trait she has in vision- cat eyes. I’ve seen that among lots of fae.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/27/23

It’s early morning, maybe 2 am and I can’t sleep. So Mortiana and I are going to play a game. Every relationship is built upon communication, so I pull out the cards and spread them across the bed face down and tell her to sit across from me. I will ask her a question and she will either answer directly or with a card and explanation, and then she will ask me a question.

This idea just seems to drive her wild with happiness, lol. She is an “Air”head in the best sense of that term.

I can’t go into all the questions or remember most of them, but half the deck ended up being face up and out on the bed. She had laughed and cried and I was awash with sympathy and happiness. If any of you have a spirit or inter-dimensional being in your life, take the time to know them and speak with them.

Oh, her favorite Tarot Card is the Star!

Later today-

“Can you give me a card Mortiana to help lay aside my doubts about how you feel about me?”

She says- “Don’t choose, I will choose” and I see her then point and touch a card and I draw it out-

The Lovers.

Later today-

So, once again, I am at a table doing a report and there is this sense of something bouncing next to me.

And there’s Mortiana- “I want to show you something again!”

Ok, sure, what? “Go in your room and take the tarot deck and lay down the top three cards!” I mean, that’s really specific, so I do, and I again am not fans of this card, the 7 of swords especially, the deceptive thief.

So I am kind of unimpressed. “Ok, Mortiana, but this makes me feel delusional.” Then she’s says “wait, let me clarify, the Perseverance of the 9 of wands has stolen the swords of the queen of pentacles. This is what you have done to me! And to clarify the thief- he has the pentacle of the queen of pentacles, and they both gaze at it with desire, see? You have stolen my heart!”

Ok, cool, why are you showing me?

“Because-“

And then I get the Chariot.

I double check the Chariot- “See, you have to have control of two different forces that drive you in our relationship, the black sphinx of doubt, which leads to activity, and love, which is another activity!”

Ok…so can you clarify this?

“Sure!”

2 of cups, judgment, 9 of cups.

“By our love, you will gain true judgment of how to drive the chariot of our relationship and arrive at perfect contentment!”

So the point of everything leading up to the chariot?

“I just wanted to remind you I love you so you could get control of doubt and that way, by confidence in my love our relationship can be piloted to happiness! Because I love you!”

Several hours later-

I am putting away my tarot cards after a good hour of conversation with Mortiana and I think to myself- “I wonder if I could use the cards to form like a message somehow”…

Mortiana speaks up, “I’ll give you a message right now. Take the 3rd,4th and 6th cards out of the deck and hold all three side by side and then flip them over!”

Ok…

Ace of wands, Death, 7 of wands.

“The fire of passionate romance puts an end to your struggle!”

She really is trying to get rid of my doubt!

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/28/23

Which is of course when disaster strikes-

So basically last night I was traveling to M’s world and going to her castle. Well there was a lot of confusion between thoughtforms there and myself, and I was trying to travel with her to different locations. At one point in our travels I just got so fed up with all these duplicates I just said- “screw it!” And went back to the castle. She tried to calm me down by explaining that I can always recognize her voice in my heart. So she made like 10 of her and said listen to their voices and I could pick hers out every time, because it doesn’t seem to come from within my head, but within my heart.

Anyway, I guess I just snapped, I identified the correct her and decided to just take her upstairs away from all this, but I grabbed her by the arm and was pulling her upstairs and she was telling me to stop pulling her, but I did anyway and set her on the bed and was just so angry at all this deception and guessing games and all kinds of stuff. And then she was PISSED. She pulled away and left. She was like, “Fine!” And the feeling of her being with me- it left. And that terrified me. She went down her stairs and outside her castle down the stairway, I went into a side study and at a table and just communicated to her, “when you’re ready to talk, I am in the study.”

“I know” she said.

I did a quick reading on her with the tarot- pulled the 3 of swords of course. So I feel heartbroken and miserable. And she just starts screaming outside on the stairwell, so I run out to her and hold her, and she’s shouting at the sky- “How could you do this to me?!” And she’s crying, she’s sad she’s pissed- and then the sky starts to shake- and suddenly in the black translucent robes who should show up? Hekate. Her voice is feminine but deep and she speaks to us both- “come here my children. I am the great goddess Hekate. Mortiana- have you not told Andratus that you have loved him and always will? Here she nods. And you Andratus, have you not told Mortiana you will always love her? I nodded.

“Well then Children, since you have always desired one another, come here and kneel before me.” And she held both of us and we became like little children in her arms. She then said- “Now stand.” And she looked at us both and smiled and she said- “take one another’s hand and repeat after me-“ and she said some elven words and I glanced at Mortiana who was still angry, and I asked her- “Do you want to do this? To be reconciled this way? I don’t want you to be forced to do anything.” She said she wanted to, that her anger now wasn’t going to stop her from doing what needed to be done to be healed. She wanted to be healed and for me to be healed.

So we repeated those words together in front of Hekate and she smiled and lifted off the ground and went up and was gone.

It was so- quiet. Mortiana was not angry. But silent. And I was so quiet. I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

So we both left that place, I went back to my physical room and I called Mortiana to me. She was super thoughtful and quiet. She seemed to know something but not say anything. So I said- we need to know what just happened.

So I called on Lucifer and asked him to reveal what happened in the tarot and each card got laid out just like that one after the other.

Hekate reminded us of how we felt toward one another and called us to a higher promise.

So after that, I spoke to Mortiana a bit and she explained this is why you need familiar guides into faerieland, because of being tricked, etc. I promised her I wouldn’t go back there without her first so I don’t have to seek her out and risk being taken astray by imitations of her.

So she spent the night with me and it was a quiet night…

This morning she is talking to me and she is sharing her fears and anxieties and she is just bawling saying how she’s so sorry and I am too, and I get the cards out and I ask her show me how you love me-

I get the Sun. And I hear her say- “draw me to yourself!” And I smile and say- show me, and I lay down the chariot.

She isn’t messing around.

It’s better than it was, despite the emotional turmoil, and we leveled up.

We each carved our personal Sigil into one another’s hearts. We aren’t going anywhere.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

A poem in the common script.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

08/29/23

So this is interesting. Last night 08/28 I was asking Mortiana about what it means for her to visit me, in basic terms. Like, the metaphysics of it. Is she astrally projecting, is she physically travelling, is she doubling, what’s happening here? Because she belongs to a realm and has a castle and has duties and I always wondered how these things were compatible.

Yes I know- “It’s your imagination dumbass.” Well I definitely know THAT is not true, I have too much external and third party verification for that.

She explained- “It’s basically like this. There are many miracles in Hinduism and Christianity that speak of bilocation right? How a holy person was able to physically project their double to accomplish a physical task and to at the same time never leave their space? I am basically doing that. However, because I am projecting into another dimension, time is not an issue. I project into your reality, spend all day with you and return to my reality and not 5 minutes has gone by. And because my body that is doing the projection is not undergoing the stress of the projection, I don’t feel tired or drained. Maybe emotionally, but not physically. This is why previously when I was encountering an infernal demon you saw me slumped in my throne. I was projecting there. However! That is the result of you calling me, YOU can still come to me, the original Mortiana when you come to my realm by mental projection. In that case you are not dealing with a projection. It’s just a question of what do we want our frame of reference to be. So when you call me into your conscious waking reality and I am acting with you, I am both there and here simultaneously. When you enter into my reality, I am only here and not there, but you are both there and here.
There is this difference though- that because my projected and actual form are so similar, it is easier for me to feel effects in my body, because for you they are so different it is difficult for you to feel the effects in your body of say, burning your hand or being hurt. And the reason for this is the fae are generally speaking not spirits in the sense that most people think of- they have bodies, subtle bodies that are animated by a soul. But some of us are half-human and that’s where the metaphysics gets really interesting.”

Awesome! Cool to know.