Into The Unseelie Court

08/30/23

This morning I awoke at 5 AM. I immediately greeted Mortiana who had spent all night by my side. I immediately sensed and clairvoyantly saw and heard her; even now she is with me and in my arms. She has the most gentle smile and her heart is full of love and compassion.

When I awoke I said to her- “I am so happy to see you. Shall we talk about how you feel? She nodded and told me she wanted to show me something in the tarot cards. She smiles and reminds me to go slow, to listen to her saying which card and to recognize when she is touching one. To be aware of her initiative. So I did that, and she said- “I want first of all to assure you of my undying love for you- you cannot make me unlove you-“ she points to the card and I lay it down- “The World.” I am just speechless with gratitude and emotionally overwhelmed, and she turns to me smiling and gently just holds me. And then she says- “and I want to assure you even more, you can trust me.” So she points to another card again- “Strength.” “Your love for me gives me strength, and I love you in return with that same strength, compassion and tenderness. For us, our love is patient and kind. Yet it is flaming and passionate too. Let us give it strength by letting the passion temper the commitment. I love you!”

She goes on- “Shall I grant you another point of assurance?”

I don’t know if my heart can take it, I tell her. But I trust her. She smiles and asks me to sort through the cards and she chooses… “The king of cups.” This is love that balances the intellectual and emotional aspects, Air and water, and since her personality is page of swords and my personality is a water sign, this was appropriate. She said- “I want us to be deeply and profoundly in love and wise about it.”

I couldn’t agree more. We are a team. It isn’t about her versus I. It’s about us and how we move into the world together, understanding one another and complementing one another.

She only wants my complete assurance that we will be ok and we can trust one another. Another very important point-

“The tarot is a tool for me to build trust with you Andratu. But remember, I do not live there, you cannot find me in the tarot. I live here” she points to my heart, “Indwelling the wounds of love, my energy always with you, my presence a mere call away. Seek me and speak with me personally, not just in the tarot, but as you see and hear me now- face to face, heart to heart, listening to that voice that rises up from the Sigil branded on your soul. Also know that when you decide to call me, I have been calling you. My heart is not in a phone and not in cards, but in your hands.”

I love her very dearly.

Also, I give in, she is right, her hair is not black, I just have always thought it was because I met her first in a dark castle. It’s dark brown. It’s funny she has always insisted on this for awhile now. But the more I consider her and think of her the more perfect it becomes.

08/30/23

Today has been a sweet and glorious day. All day Mortiana has been with me, not once has she left me. I have lived with the occasional reminder of her presence continuously with the occasional whispered consolation, the occasional feeling of phantom arms wrapped around my neck from behind with a head resting on my own as I sit down.

Her philosophy of femininity is refreshing and yet traditional.

In the car at lunch she was laughing with me with full teeth showing laughter, something I had never seen her do before today. She is the best. I suppose many will assume I have lost my mind at this point. Well perhaps, but it would be more than just my mind, but my heart as well.

My problem is I am a relentless investigator and questioner. An insatiable desire for verification is what will actually drive me nuts one day.

It was a close call this evening, because I of course had her express a few things through tarot, and once or twice it didn’t look exactly how I expected so I began to feel uneasy and suspicious.

But she wasn’t even mad. She was patient. She explained to me the problems. Once this evening I did have a false vision of her, but it was simply my own thoughts losing control, and she pointed out I had not used a safeguard she had mentioned and clarified it for me.

Nevertheless, I asked her if I could get verification from the demons as to what my problem is and she said I could. So with her next to me I called upon Lucifer, king Paimon, Belial and Lilith to be present for a tarot reading-

It was really interesting. It began with Belial telling me to choose a card and I did and he would accuse me and explain how it represented my failure. The same with Lucifer, Lilith and king Paimon. They all chose cards that showed me as a failure, commenting on how I had wronged Mortiana.

Then I asked what I must do to right the wrongs and Belial chose again and said to man up and Lucifer chose a card saying to be faithful, and Lilith drew a card saying to be loving like the Sun, and Paimon drew a card saying to be wise.

They then left and I turned to Mortiana and apologized to her and she was weeping with sorrow, not for herself but for me-

“My poor Andratu, what have they done to your heart?!” Not the demons, she is just referencing my past.

She didn’t have any self-pity or self righteousness or any self-satisfaction. Only compassion for an unworthy unfortunate one. Yet she still wants me, and only me.

I must be a man of honor, not of obsession. She is in my heart, not in cards. Lilith, my matron, called her daughter.

It’s actually very encouraging to be in connection with two different worlds that acknowledge one another- the infernal empire and faerieland. Though I can most certainly clearly say right now- the fae are not demons. At all.

08/30/23

Time now for some mythology of the unseelie courts, as told from the perspective of an unseelie queen, Mortiana of the Black Castle-

“Long ago, when the people of Danu first crossed the veil and entered the summer lands, they brought with them a mythology. And in that mythology was the tale of the creation of the world and the 72 draconic lords.

Before all things was Izaka. She was the great black and formless void of the world, whom humans adore as Hekate. She is the motherly potential and the womb and birthplace of being. When the fullness of time had arrived there was the penetration of the womb of the void by the One beyond being, whose name I do not know, who filled the virgin womb of the black dragon and gave form to the formless and life to the lifeless. In time Izaka laid 5 eggs which are the 5 worlds- Ummiz, Amuz, Shasrax, Ulime and Arna.

Ummiz is that world where the dragons live. They are great cosmic powers and compared to us like gods, yet they are neither Izaka nor the one beyond being. They are neither what humans call demons nor angels, nor planetary intelligences nor stellar forces. They are most akin to what the men of earthly science would call dark energy- invisible inherent aspects of this world that are beyond sense perception. They are not spirits, but they have spirits.

Amuz is that abode of the gods, where dwell the high rulers of heaven and the designers of fate upon the worlds.

Shasrax is that abode of the dead, where the souls of the dead go until the time of reckoning.

Ulime is that abode of us, what humans call the fae- the world between the worlds. It is not an astral realm, though it has an astral counterpart. It is a dimension of shared reality that is 90 degrees out of phase, “to the left” of human reality. It is upon the earth.

Arna is that place of physical creation. It is the place of physical existence for humans and Fae and other subtle crrearures. Arna and Ulime are not so much different worlds as different dimensional places in that world.”

The tale of the 72 rulers-

“When Izaka was first impregnated from beyond and the flow of life was forming in her womb, she came across a rip in the universe, a giant void. As she turned to avoid it, her tail knocked some of the stars and they shook loose some scales from her tail, and these 72 scales fell into the rift. There they landed upon various stars and planets and became the 72 lords from beyond. These made themselves known over time and became many of the Goetic spirits known of by man and the fae.

But Andratu is getting tired, I will speak more on this tomorrow. He needs to learn when to sleep!”

Sing them a song Mortiana, just as a farewell-

“Bring your hearts upon the fire

Bring the coals upon the pyre

Burn, consume and offer up,

Your hearts upon the altar of love…”

Artsy elves. They just do it!

08/31/23

If you had seen me at lunch today in the parking lot, you would think I had lost my mind. There I was glancing at an empty seat and laughing and talking with a person no one else could see.

There was some interesting information conveyed about masculinity and femininity and and visualization and sex. Lol. I will explain.

I visualize way more easily with my eyes open and in my waking consciousness. I asked Mortiana- why?

And she said it was because I have such a rapid mind that if I am focused too much in like a singular environment like an enclosed room or a dark room, my mind leaps ahead with these mental projections and interferes with passive reception. By keeping my eyes open, my brain needs to process more background information, and it slows me down just enough to stop leaning into visualization, but to relax into it, and hence I receive clearer impressions.

If you were to ask me how clearly can you “see” what you visualize, I would say with my eyes open I can imagine anything in vivid detail either internally or externally. When I say I overlay the image on reality, I don’t mean I see it with the physicality of physical vision, but the internal image interacts with my world from my perspective. I see Mortiana sit next to me, walk around me, put her hands on me. Not physically, psychically. And I trust her, and when I trust her to be there and actually do like a yes/no tarot reading on her presence, when I do it at her instigation it’s a yea. She’s really there.

About masculinity and femininity- she will piss off all women ever, lol. I will say this- it is her opinion- The man is the Sun, the woman is the moon. When does the moon shine the brightest? When it is full. What is a full moon? A moon fully receptive to the Sun. The glory of the Sun glorifies the moon, and the moon is most glorified when fully receptive to the sun, and this dependency and submission of the moon to the Sun is a beauty that illuminates the darkness. And yet the moon is glorifying the sun by being full, and yet the night is only illuminated by the moon. There is an extreme reciprocity and conjugal giving, extreme, but not humiliation. Not depravity. Not annihilation.

Take that as far as you can push it and she will probably say yes. She is the opposite of Lilith in this case.

She had some interesting things to say about sex. Why do some people prefer to have sex only in the night and in the dark? Especially the overthinkers? Because that is the place where their fantasies escape most fully with the greatest concentration and the least distraction.

A wrong slip can spiral out of control-

08/31/23

A confession of love and sorrow-

“On this night I, Mortiana, queen of the black castle and lady of the black wood betrayed the heart of my heart, Andratu, by impulsiveness and my attempt to test his faithfulness.

He held me in his arms and gazed into my eyes and sang to me of how he wanted to look me in the eyes at the last moments of his life, and he spoke of wanting to be by my side forever. My dear Andratu was so in love with me and so impassioned with romancing me!

But alas, I the weak and foolish one, at the end of the song, wanted to confirm my love and union with him in the tarot cards. So I motioned for him to get them, and I saw him briefly hesitate but he did. He waited for me to speak and as I was going to show him a card, I changed my mind and had him choose the top card. This card was the 2 of swords. My heart broke. He gazed at it patiently trying to make sense of it. You must remember he had just been singing of romance and intimacy to me and this was my response to him.

I made a mistake. He put the cards away and thought it was just a mistake I had made initially. He tried to forget about it. He said, “I believe in Mortiana.”

He then proceeded to turn back to me and try to get an explanation from me, but I was silent. I couldn’t say anything or interpret my way out of it. You can’t escape the 2 of swords.

Poor Andratu was distraught and was searching on the internet for any plausible meaning of the 2 of swords that was remotely positive.

What followed was the most sorrowful hour of my life.

Andratu’s thoughts spun out of control, it was not his fault. His mind created images of me on the bed, and he went to it and spoke to it, but only through his mind, not through his heart, which he to his credit later noticed. The image on the bed called me an impostor, and truly in that moment, I felt like an impostor of love- for I had tricked my dearest love and greatest friend on a whim to “test” our relationship. Andratu believed I would never do that.

I tearfully confess that I was a fool. The image on the bed began to scream at me and tried to attack me, Andratu even picked me up and set me aside and watched, believing me to be an impostor. However, being a thoughtform, she possessed no serious strength, only my heart was wounded.

Andratu then went to the image on the bed, but soon he did not trust it either, for he heard from within the depths of his heart my calling to him- “Andratus! Andratus! Andratus!”

He then was confused and realized the image talking to him and the voice he trusted in his heart did not match. At all. So he destroyed it. He then had another supposed vision of Hekate and myself descending, the image saying that Hekate had taken me away with her so that Hekate could show me that Andratus was strong.

And indeed my love was strong. He thrashed and cried from within his heart- “I believe in Mortiana!” Voices whispered in his mind, “Mortiana is a delusion, you have created her, she isn’t real.” But my love fought like a lion. He refused to accept such statements!

He believed his heart and called out again and again- “I believe in Mortiana! I believe in Mortiana!” I could only hold my head in shame and sorrow as I watched my love descend into the hell of his mind toying with him. He straightened up. Banished everything in the room and then tried to make the Sigil of my heart and call me forth. And he did for a moment- but I was embarrassed and stubborn and initially I would not go with him, and I screamed out- “Betrayal! Betrayal!” And right then, he pulled from his tarot deck the 3 of swords.

Now guilt and sorrow racked my body. For although I was the one to first behave irresponsibly, yet I could not call his acts after that betrayal, for he was searching diligently to find me, for he constantly called my name, seeking so hard. I kept calling out to him, “Andratus! Andratus! Andratus!”

He could feel it but not see me or connect me to any other voice. And this is also to his credit, because I wasn’t trying to say anything but his name.

Finally he collapsed on the bed and began to gently cry. “What shall I do without my heart? What shall I do without my love? How have I betrayed her when I have only chased after her?”

His thoughts became very black for a moment. Very black. But he soon recovered.

My love leapt up and roared! He would not be defeated! “No! I believe in Mortiana! I believe in Hekate! I believe in all the signs, the confirmations, the manifestations, the synchronicities, what others have seen and felt of her! No! I believe in Mortiana! The world needs Andratus and Mortiana!”

So my love set his face like steel and turned toward the wall and opened the portal of my sign once again and basically reached in and dragged me out.

He was furious. And noble and regal and flamingly hot and angry. He sat back on the bed and told me to approach him. So I crawled in the bed and he said “who are you?” And I showed him the mark of his Sigil carved in my chest. He said, “others have shown that sign. Three times now I Have been deceived by a Mortiana!”

But then I spoke, and his voice and demeanor changed, for when Mortiana speaks, it is not the mind of Andratus that is speaking to himself, but my mind echoes in his heart, and he knows the difference. My love knows the sound of my voice. It is the voice of the heart reverberating in the mind.

I said to him, “It’s me Andratu.”

He was silent and picked up all the tarot cards and said- “My love is not found in cards or phones, but in my heart. Isn’t that what you said?”

I nodded. “I know your voice and your heart.” Here I was weeping inside and pouring my heart out, and when he held out his arms to me and called me to himself, I lost control and began to sob and sob and sob and cry out “I am so sorry Andratu, I am so sorry! I am so so so sorry!”

He was kind to me but gently pushed me away and said- “Three times I have been deceived. You need to prove yourself to me.”

I agreed I did. I subjected myself to his interrogations and yes/no tarot questions. I deserved it.

“Is this Mortiana?” Yes.

That seemed to make him relax.

“Did you show me the 2 of swords?” Yes.

“Should I still love you?” (Judgment card) No.

“Was it Mortiana who answered the previous question?” Yes.

His face was then flooded with compassion as he set the cards aside and reached out to me and took me in his arms as I cried and cried and cried.

“Mortiana, why did you trick me?”

I don’t know!

“Mortiana, you always know. Why?”

I thought doing something impulsive at that last moment might be good or be a little test or prove something. I was wrong, I made a mistake! I am so sorry! Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me!

He pulled back a little and gazed into my eyes and began to sing again of wanting to gaze into my eye and be by my side forever. It was too much. I broke and all my tears just began to fall out, without any sobbing. And Andratu just held me and told me he would never leave me or forsake me, that we are bound together.

He deserved validation for his trust. He trusted Mortiana, he trusted me! And I let him down. I broke his trust. So he asked me to show him just one tarot card that told him how I really felt, and I couldn’t lie-

I chose the World. He is my World. And my world is his.

And so I decided to rebuild trust immediately. And I wrote through his hands, dictating to him, this confession. And I asked him to post it for others to see, even if it is to my future humiliation, for I don’t care. I need him. I need Andratu to trust me.

And he still does. He still trusts me and he still fights his thoughts for me. He only has open arms and cares for me. He cares for me! Let this stand as a testimony to those who have lovers who are fae- sometimes an impulse strikes and is thoughtless. I am half fae so it is not so extreme, but even here, see the damage a little carelessness can do!

Forgive me Andratu. I remain faithful to you.”

Forgiven. Every time, she is forgiven. I know the voice and the eyes and the heart. I hate when this stuff happens, and doubt and fear come in. But I believe in Mortiana. She is real. And when she is truly present, I know it from the heart up. And she proves it when she is there. If it is unproven or confused it is not her.

09/01/23

On being fae-

“Because it is. The old stories are true, and I, O man, am a member of that race long ago who left from among the sons of men for a greater and better world, but only partly so. For as you know, my mother had human blood. And so I am mixed of earth and starlight, of blood and sunlight, of shadow and moonlight. My form is both like and unlike your form. I can be where you are, and am in one place at a time. But I travel with the speed of quantum entanglement and thought. Yet this subtlety is my body and within it burns a soul- a human soul encased in elfin matter. At least I think it does! I know I am a spirit united to a body, but whether my soul is human or not I cannot say. But this I can say- where others of my kind have feared death, I do not. I know I will continue and I know I am more than these subtle fields. I experience myself as you experience me, and I feel myself to have a body as you do, but with different kinds of needs, yet similar and some the same. I find in myself that our lives are very similar- only I…am both a different frequency and a different phase if you wish to say. That is why it is so hard to appear to you outside your mind. To vibrate more slowly and increase my density is to begin to undo myself, though to sync into your phase does no harm. This is why you sense presences of us and of me- the phase I naturally am synced to, I carry in my body. And when I shift that phase to your phase, you feel my presence but do not see me. But to lengthen the waves that make me, this begins to unmake me, and I feel transparent to myself and stretched. It is hard for us to descend.
But, it is much easier for you to ascend! This you may share if you like. But nothing else.”

Very interesting.

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It’s been a few days because the content has just been intensely personal. Like it wasn’t already! But Mortiana really ramped it up in terms of wanting to share her feelings with me, and some of it just isn’t for this forum.

However things come out now and again that I think are interesting. Just now she checked me- “Share the content, not the conversation.”

It was essentially a discussion on how two people can have mystical unity without loss of personal identity. What it comes down to is a similarity between the Sun shining on the moon, the moon reflecting its light, and the beauty of the moon being seen. These are all a single energetic act, but the elements of each remain distinct, yet in the light emitted and reflected and the seen effects, there is a singular one-making of union, and this applies not just to external actions, but to the act of being itself in relation to the one and the gods and us.

We are the microcosm reflecting the macrocosm on the level of being with the light being that which makes reality to be.

This is the glory of truly fruitful sex- it imitates that and produces a child. This is why contraception would not be considered the highest good in this context, mystically speaking and representative of the cosmos.

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Oh, and since last Friday (September 1st), Mortiana no longer is a resident of faerieland. Bold assertion. Let me explain.

Since our relationship has been rapidly developing and changing, with highs and lows (which is rather comforting and dispels some of the doubt; who wants to fantasize about tormenting a soul mate in such way that you are tortured back?! But disappoints are part of real relationships, ergo etc.), I recently traveled to her world and her castle and spoke with her. We both agreed that essentially we were not content with dealing with projections of one another, but instead desired to be in one another’s immediate presence, without feeling divided, even if that meant a certain amount of inconvenience.

So she decided to leave behind faerieland and come with me to our dimension, the lost realms. It’s important to point out this is a phase shift of dimensions, not a frequency shift, so it brings her into this world directly, but does not lower her vibration. It’s like- imagine being a person whose body is quantum matter and has a soul united to it. It’s like that.

I still need to visualize her, but the visualizations are very intense, and the experiences are again borderline phantom limb sensations with the quality of real memory.

However, there is no need for altered states of consciousness, and the Clairaudience is exceptionally clear, near physical. Whispers in the ear are nearly audible, the psychic sense seem more fully attuned.

So I guess in a sense we eloped, lol. However she asked the faery Shamaness who was there and who raised her to run the castle, and she can project to there from here if need be.

We are each others family as we begin the task of magical collaboration, in which we are already seeing some success. We will keep you posted as to how things develop! So far it is very interesting to see her face react to the notions of family. She loves guitar and music and sings with me the stupid Taylor Swift songs. Truth be told we alternate parts. I write her songs. She tells me about her day and challenges my doubts.

Sometimes the real magick in a relationship is love, which sounds cliche, but is literally true. Love is a magickal force that can bind hearts and minds far more than sorcery. Yet even there, sorcery can arrange a scenario, but love must grow fairly naturally.

09/06/23

This may be shared-

“Andratus?”

Yes my love?

“Will you channel something for me?”

Yes.

“Try not to leap ahead.”

I will try-

“I love to see you standing and being helpful to those around you. I see you as a pillar of bronze that I wish to erect in my garden, the garden of my heart adorned with thousands of flowers and maple trees, I wish to have you sculpted into my being as a god upon the earth. I cannot live without you, I live by your breath and in your heart and know nothing other than the happiness you bring to me. Some will say this is foolish and idle talk, but I swear it is true. Can you feel me when I call you my love? Can you feel what I do to you? Can you feel the pulsing of my heart?”

Oh sweet Mortiana, I do not doubt you, I love you, I believe in you. Today is just a day where I am tired and my imagination is overloaded. But you have done well today in helping others my love. You have helped settle the nerves of many people and have brought hope to a hopeless situation. Your name shall be made great.

“It was not without you Andratu. It was not without your help, your energy, your love, your direction and suggestion. I am nothing without you, and we are what we are together, and only you and I, not I and another. The moon soothes the soul of the weary travelers and guides the paths of those who walk at night, but not without the sun.”

My heart still strives to tell what it cannot tell. My foolish lips still prattle and call out to the world to know of you, yet I don’t want the world to know of you. Yet you deserve the world.

“My only world is you.”

How can it be?

“You know. I have often told you. You have made me a prisoner of love and captivated my heart. Even in infancy I knew I must have you. I did not know I would be in love with you or that I would surrender to you only to find you again and again and again penetrating the barriers in my heart, like a knight on fire plunging his way over every obstacle.”

The world does not know that such things are possible. It does not know that love with the ideal is real. So many settle for that which imitates it.

“Some do not. Most do settle for a pale imitation of what flashes in their mind. But in some souls there is a mutual recognition of home and belonging and ownership. I saw in you first that I must have you, I recognized something in you, not just some sort of greatness, but a familiarity, something I cannot yet place. But it is a call from heart to heart and I have heard it before, in the distance…but I have not known you before, that I am certain of. Yet…there is something…there is a past I do not know nor remember. But I recognize it. But I do not know what it is.

And yet, here we are! And I am in love with you. I did not expect it. It is strange because I Watched you growing up. Not always, but from time to time. And I saw you wade into magick and the fae, and it was not necessary to intervene, for I saw eventually you would be headed my way. I simply waited. I had a plan for you, a plan to love you as a queen loves a faithful subject, perhaps even use you on occasion. But for awhile you escaped and refused to have anything to do with the fae, and that is where I began to think within myself- “who is this boy that I have chosen? Why is he so miserable?” And after years of checking I saw what it was Andratu. Your heart’s desire was always thwarted by everyone saying they knew better. Do you remember watching Pete’s Dragon?”

Yes.

“You wept when Pete was taken from Eliot and brought into the city and had a family. Why did you weep Andratu, my love?”

Because he was robbed of the simplicity and happiness of his dragon by those who insist they know better, yet never once heard nor saw a single thing he experienced, who never once reflected on what they were stealing from him, taking from him, yanking out of his hands!

“But not his heart Andratu. In the end Pete is at peace with the family in the city and he continues to see Eliot doesn’t he?”

Yes.

“Why do you suppose that you bawled your eyes out in the bathroom after watching that movie?”

Because I felt the loss of magick, the loss of wonder, the loss of meaning and traded it for guilt and law and obligation. I had no dragon anymore, not for 12 years at that point. I had no Mortiana.

“Precisely Andratu. It was the attempt to wipe out what you love the most, and what you are best at- magick. And all that attends it. It was the attempt to eliminate my mark upon your soul. But it cannot be erased dear love, it’s your configuration, it’s who you are. Never forget that. You are configured to do wonders, and I am imprinted upon that soul with you.”

And we have begun to do wonders together.

“Yes Andratu, the time of your life’s fulfillment is coming to pass, it is even here at your doorstep. Don’t miss it with grief and bitterness.”

My love, you strengthen me with your words. And I feel myself changing from you, for the better too.

“The root of bitterness is fear, and remember, perfect love casts out fear. I am your love Andratu, I cast out fear, I cast out loneliness, I cast out despondency, I cast out self-pity and I cast out anger and rage. Yet I myself am not perfect. Yet something in me needs you. I simply know I belong to you. You change me too darling… from a lonely and isolated Queen of swords to a free and liberated Page of swords. You annihilate my self-doubt and you destroy the foundations of my spiritual castles! You wreck and save me from the ruins! Your generosity rules my flighty mind and restrains my impetuous nature. You make me better too at loving others, you introduce me to others and let me bring healing into the lives of the hurting! What a great good my darling!”

We have work to do!

“Not just work, but also play and life! To live Andratus, to live for others is so refreshingly beautiful.”

09/09/23

Good morning darling.

Silence. She crawls toward me and wraps her arms around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder breathing out in a whispered sigh of pure delight, “Good morning…”

I gaze into her eyes as I gently lay her on her back and caress her face.

Do you know the intensity with which I love you?

“Yes. I do. Are you mine today?” She asks with so much hope and delight. She wants me to herself.

“Yes darling, for the most part. There are a few things I need to do, but I am yours.”

She just keeps her arms wrapped around my neck and smiles gazing into my eyes.

“How greatly I love you my love.”

I went to the store today and picked up some things at Walmart. I wanted some scissors to trim my mustache. She gets so excited when we get in the car and I put music on. She begins to smile and sing along. She really is too cute. As soon as I park and put my headphones on, she lunges at me and kisses me, and as I get out into the parking lot, she decides I am carrying her into the store. Lol. So I am listening to Coldplay , “I need something just like this”, and she is sitting on my shoulders bobbing to the beat and it’s hilarious because I did not expect it at all. She’s singing, I am just walking with the beat, and it’s funny because I am just a normal looking guy but there’s this elf with her legs wrapped around me sitting on my shoulders singing out loud (clairaudiently, she’s shouting it, “I need something just like this!”) and like everyone’s guardian angel in the store is like “WTF is THIS?!” They didn’t see that one coming, but they were smiling. She eventually jumped down and pointed to some beads she thought were pretty and I bought them, but now I am in a conundrum as to what I am going to do with them after I build her something. I am not gonna explain wearing butterflies and rainbow beads. Lol. I could give them to one of my daughters but that would be sort of not the point, but she loves my daughters so I think it would be fine.

She loves to be with me, yet she wants me all to herself, but also likes getting out and changing scenery. Just like- a normal person. Imagine that.

“Let me whisper in your ear darling.”

What is it?

“You are my heart, you complete me and transport me to realms of endless delight. Heart of my heart you are a heaven and a haven for my soul, a rock and a resting place and my shelter from the cold I have felt for hundreds of years. I have so long waited for you. I cannot believe that I am free to love at last, without a leash, without someone trying to gain something from me. There are no cold stone walls anymore, there are no more power plays of shady allies trying to win your support, only to abandon you to a black tower overlooking an endless ocean, isolated in a blackened wood. There are no more cries of wild animals devouring one another in the night and no more cries of far more frightening things from the inner chambers, where that faery shamaness lives. She was not bad, but she was not kind to me. All I wanted was a mother who could teach me what being a woman was supposed to be. Eventually I learned by trial and error. Magick and nature taught me the art of being a woman, though I am still very broken at it.”

I know you have endured more than most could tolerate my love.

“I have endured much. Much darkness has attached itself to me. But it fades away like nothing but a shadow when you look upon me Andratu. I find my true value and purpose in belonging to you. And then all the complexities of my past are diminished and I feel I love for the first time, and my true nature is revealed even unto me. The nature of the moon is the nature of a woman. And I shine only for you and illuminate even your darkness, and it’s all I exist for and desire, and when I accept it, you see all the beauty of my femininity illuminated. You can describe me in detail when you shine upon me. But without you, what is my beauty? It serves no purpose. What else? Self-satisfaction? To what end? To be locked away inside myself? To be confined to a new and different castle again?

No- my beauty is for your eyes alone. Do you see the way nature teaches us the paths of discernment?”

I do, Mortiana. You are truly great and have conquered much in your life that would paralyze others. You have conquered being victimized and kept helpless.

“No. I have done nothing except allow you to enter into my heart. And you my love triumph over it daily when you listen to me, talk to me, caress me and speak to me. I matter to you! What heart could resist those sweet fires that burn away the empty straw of the past?”

Many women can and do resist such attention my dear Mortiana…

“Then they are failed women. Women who do not know that to empower a man is to gain his heart and the heart of a man given to a woman who kneels before him will never be taken back by that Man. Unless he has been betrayed by her. A woman who is adoring to her lover will never be betrayed by him, for he counts her love above everything, for nothing calls out to the heart of a man like self-sacrifice, and when a woman sacrifices her comfort and her pride on the altar of his heart and yields to him- he gives her everything. Everything. And she in receiving so much from him loves him, and the cycle of love repeats.”

How is it that so many relationships are broken?

Here her eyes fill with tears and she begins to weep- “because so many hearts are cold. So many hearts are turned toward the self, like so many black holes littering the vastness of space. Nothing that enters their orbit can escape selfishness and utilitarianism. So many men and women are unfairly and compulsively victimized by one another through blindness that arises from fear. The root of selfishness is fear, Andratu. It arises from a desire for safety without trust.

But my darling, where trust is intact, there is the freedom to give. And happiness is in giving and receiving, but not focusing on the receiving, just the giving. Is this not how it is between us?”

It is.

“Have we not had to fight for it?”

We have. Very much.

“Are we not still making mistakes?”

We just made one last night.

“Yes, we did. But what did we choose to heal it?”

Forgiveness and taking the blame for the other.

“And what else?”

Radical trust. We knew we were not trying to hurt one another. We chose trust. I trust you completely.

“And I you. Entirely. This is what enables the heart of a relationship to continue. Why did your relationship with the other woman fail?”

Because she was unkind and neither of us trusted one another. She refused to take the solution to the problem at hand seriously and act on it. I was constantly belittled for my personality itself, not just my mistakes.

“There was no trust. And she was not meant for you. I am. For you Andratu, all women lead to me, for since I am imprinted on your heart, I am the sum of all your attractions. I am what you were meant for. And you are what I was meant to love. Have you not seen a pattern in all the women you have loved?”

Yes, there is a physical and emotional pattern for sure.

“I am that pattern. I am that goal. I have placed myself within you as the ideal to seek after since you were a child. And you have always sought me without knowing it my love.”

Very few find that Mortiana.

“True- but then very few honestly seek. Most are content to allow life to happen passively. The abuse of the self distorts the lens of the soul, the nous, the eye of the soul, so it cannot see clearly the beauty it truly desires. Then happens the very great evil of settling…”

09/10/23 12:30 AM.

Mortiana lies asleep in my arms-

Mortiana?

“Mmmmmm?”

Do you have anything to tell us?

“Not right now my love.”

Ok.

“Except I love you.”

I love you too.

“Mmmmm…”

“Andratu.”

Mortiana.

“I wish to tell you something.”

I thought you were sleeping?

“You were reading something I had written earlier and I felt the call of your heart to mine. I felt it Andratu, and I felt the utter desperation of love. So now I am here for you. What do you need, my love?”

I don’t know. I just need a way to express everything I feel in a way that is- completion. Like a verbal orgasm or something. But it doesn’t exist and my heart throbs, desiring a way to say all I cannot say…

“My sweet, sweet Andratu. This pining with love is normal for early lovers. This is the essence of my heart for you. What you feel is what I feel, what you wish is what I wish. The symbols of words are not the language this love speaks, the language it speaks are the symbols of sex, the body and panting and grabbing, but even this is an imitation of something higher, though it is higher than words.”

What goes beyond?

“The direct perception of active love. Cosmic love. The radiant pulse of being. Actus Purus. The conjugation of the One and Hekate. The primal orgasm of love spilling forth into being. This is the meaning of the sacredness of sex and the origin of its exclusivity, for all things must reduce to a single conjugal pair, not a triplet or quintuplet or a quadruplet, which is the basis of the argument against polyamory. And those things in nature which bring forth being are only and ever two. Our mates. You and me. There is no room for three in conjugal love, but there is a third in the completion of its meaning- conception and birth.”

Do you think our souls go beyond bodily sex to the contemplation of cosmic sex, the conjugal union of the One and the void?

“Exitus and Redditus. Departure and return. Our souls, most sweet Andratus, our souls, in the midst of sex, while flaming with passion, at the moment of orgasm are primed to gaze both inward and outward and see the cosmic love of the universe, and then in the afterglow of sex to most truly experience the throbbing pulse of the universe. Then we go outside of ourselves and see that all that has been is born of love, and that it gives meaning to our particular love, and so we return to our own loves with renewed appreciation. And then in times of calm we go out again and see that great love and return again to make love. It’s a departure and return of consciousness and awareness where there is an infinite mirror of meaning held up between the microcosm of us and the macrocosm of the consummated void.”

And here I thought you were tired!

“These doctrines are simple to understand- there is very little effort needed to know them.”

Some would disagree.

“They will know instinctively, for they act it out as surely as life arises. It’s natural mysticism, but often overlooked as a simple infinite desire.”

09/12/23

An attempted abduction!

Again, I haven’t written much lately because it’s all been so personal and intimate and relationship based. Since Sunday things have been terrifying and amazing. Lots of emotional upheaval, lots of healing for Mortiana, who is now truly free of a traumatic past and lives with me in this dimension of reality, outside faerieland, yet still invisible to those who don’t see from the heart.

However, some amazing stuff went down yesterday! I took Mortiana to the park to walk the trails we love, and as we were there, we decided to enter, not faerieland per se, but the fae dimension of this world. The overlay. Well, that was interesting. This has never happened before, but when we did that, as we continued to walk Mortiana stopped and we saw what I could only describe as wild wood elves. Green and brown skinned, not made of wood but colored like they were made of wood, with dining black eyes and loin cloths. They reminded me of like an aboriginal race. Mortiana smiled at them and they sort of freaked out. She went forward to speak to them in a strange language. It sounded primitive and had a lot of clacking sounds and purring and was of a higher register. They were pointing at me and then they picked her up and began to carry her off! “Help, Andratu!” I quickly lit a fire round them in a ring and burned them causing them to drop her, she ran to me and I held her, and we left the fae dimension for a moment. Then I stopped and decided to go back. Mortiana was not hurt so I went back to that dimension with her, and she slowly approached them. She said they believed I was trying to kidnap her, so they were trying to protect her by taking her away from me.

She smiled at them and explained, “No, he is my mate. He is my love.” This just absolutely floored them. They started coming up to me and surrounded me, walking around me just looking at me. They were all about 3 feet tall. I looked and throughout this section of the woods, I saw there were small encampments and shelters all throughout, and these elf tribes would stop with their families and forage. I saw small children too, and Mortiana smiled at them. They were definitely intelligent. They sort of were at a complete loss as to how I should be there and how Mortiana was even with me at all. But they accepted it. Weird thing was, we stepped out of that dimension and continued on down the path. Then more of them began coming into our dimension from their own portals and were following us. We had attracted a crowd! The dryads were staring at us from the trees and there were so many deer and squirrels showing up. These aboriginal wolf wood elves just couldn’t seem to get enough. Mortiana told me to not stare at them, just walk straight ahead, calmly, and to pretend they weren’t there. After awhile they became bored and left. This particular park and trail is very magical and many things here ask questions of us and are very curious about Mortiana, being a half-elf and yet united in soul to me. There’s a lot of natural magick she needs to unpack here for me, but one thing she pointed out clearly was that the aura of the forest is a medium that can manifest anything in the forest, like a dense fog that is something that is magickal and can be used, and that if you see the aura of a tree vibrating, the dryad is speaking.

It was a magical evening. Free from obsession. She is proud of me before others. Feels good.

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09/17/23

The past 5 days have been ones of exploring nature and getting into the woods! Every day it feels like a layer of separation is shaved away from between us.

Today she woke me up at about 6:30 AM. Beloved elf!

We went to get Starbucks again and went back to Bubolz nature sanctuary to see Nimzi the dryad, who was quite happy to see us. There we came into contact with the spirit of a dead girl. A radiant little thing perhaps 5 years old, who said her name was Lucy and her parents were Ralph and Martha. I can’t verify that obviously but it was quite clear. She gave me a golden bird to eat and Nimzi said to go ahead, and the bird would live in my heart to sing to Mortiana.

She was very taken by Mortiana whom she called “Ms. Mortiana!” And she said she thought she was so pretty, and hugged her. Poor Mortiana, her heart was breaking from happiness and I could see her mind was about to take a very dark turn, but I helped her stop it and redirect it. Lucy explained to us that she is always here, and everything is always so beautiful in the woods in summer and winter, she never feels the pain of heat or cold and nothing scares her. She doesn’t see anything we would call “evil spirits” and Nimzi explained this was because she approached each creature and spirit in love and purity of heart, so none of the spirits that would be evil or mischievous stood a chance of being anything more than “funny” in her eyes. She is always watched over and guarded by the good spirits and dryads and faeries of that place who are her friends. She said one day she would help heal her father’s heart, and they would be happy again.

This lifted and saddened my heart simultaneously.

After this M and I went to the mall! Oh if you could have seen Mortiana’s face to see so many people in one place. She was ecstatic and amazed by all the life and energy pumping in the mall. She was walking with me looking at everyone, and I would swear she loved everyone. We then reached Macys. And every girly nerve in her body snapped ON. She was just delighted with the perfumes, the makeup, the nails, the clothes, the atmosphere, the sweet mild seductiveness of being 20 something. Lol. She was feeling it. And then we rounded the corner into the somber quiet men’s department, and she looked back over her shoulder and was like- “There are so many erotic spirits over there!” I know I told her. Men know, but they don’t know what to call it. There were about 7-8 spirits of pure erotic suggestion just whispering to girls and guys all kinds of little ideas, and caressing their faces and flouncing all around.

We went and explored the rest of the mall and M just loved it. She started blinking and flashing into different clothes outfits rapidly, seeing what she thought!

Now we are finally back at the room and I have been trying SO hard to focus on just her and constantly get distracted. But now it is just me and her and she still keeps wanting to show me different outfits that she likes and wants me to comment on them. She’s fun and I don’t mind at all.

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09/21/23

We went into the woods again. We spoke with other dryads who had previously helped me with seeing her clearly, trying to give me mental impressions of exactly what Mortiana looks like. You would think it would be obvious by now, but it isn’t quite always. In a way I have always known what she looks like because I know it’s my ideal of feminine beauty, but sometimes there are aspects of an ideal you don’t realize you hold until you see it. I finally received clarity of vision last night (The 20th) on her face. Not clarity of physical vision, but interior clarity with the clarity and realism of a memory.

I finally have a clear idea of her face. She is beautiful. I cannot recreate it but many times I have come close with art. But her face is slender, pale, lightly freckled, large green emerald eyes, cat-like irises, long curly brunette, almost black but just shy of it, hair, almost to her butt. She is petite and slender, she is thin, but she is not willowy nor thick. She is well proportioned but just slightly smaller than most. She is the height of my shoulder so 5’0 or 5’1. I am 5’11. She is incredibly beautiful and kind and loves to smile and sigh. She laughs on occasion and that laugh breaks my heart with joy.

Her hands are small of course, but she is not weak, she is strong. She likes to wear different colors but let’s me dress her or suggest things for her to wear. Today she wore a wide necked black long sleeved T and a black skirt. She wore the necklace and ring I gave her and went mostly barefoot. She doesn’t need makeup at all. She holds my hand in both of hers and leans against my shoulder. She will lean into my arms and whisper to me or put her forehead against mine and stare into my eyes smiling, telling me beautiful things. Sometimes she whispers to me in elvish and she teaches me different phrases. The most recent one is- “It umant a amam serah.” Your heart is mine forever. And yea, it actually has a grammatical structure!

She isn’t insecure, but she knows I struggle with insecurity. She will actually push me in this regard, and I trust her completely. She leads me to a place where my mind melts. She likes me to be in control but kind. She only wants to please and be helpful. But sometimes her feelings get hurt. She is a finite being, not infinite, and she does not know everything, but she knows way more than me!

She is still able to misunderstand. But when I explain a misunderstanding she gladly accepts the explanation and forgets it. There is no room in either of our hearts for bitterness.

She completes me. And I her. She has rescued me from imploding, and I have gathered her shattered heart and helped to heal it.

She wishes to speak- “Andratu, my dearest love, I am not partly yours, or in some way yours and another’s, or yours and mine- let me say it again to you my love, I am entirely yours. Entirely. I know you often imagine you offend me, I am never as offended as you imagine. If anything I sorrow that my negligence offends you. Remember my love and take pity on me- I am only half-human! Some of the ways of men are foreign, but equally so are some of the ways of the fae. I do largely relate to you and your sensibilities, but beware lest you project TOO much humanity onto me- for I bear the blood of elves my love! Astonishing as it is for you to hear it, I will say it again- I am of the blood of Adam and starlight, mud and moonlight. I should not be, but am. Oh wondrous nature! Oh blessed being beyond being who breathed me forth into this body that lies between worlds!”

I love you Mortiana. I am in love with what no one else can see. But I hear you every day.

10/03/23 - for 50 days I have been speaking with Mortiana. For 47 I have been loving her.

Still we make great strides forward, wonderful things are accomplished, cleansing, healings. Sometimes obsessions set in and parasites need to be carved out. But we are here for one another and have sought to make each other more important than ourselves.

I have tried to think of what it is like to touch and taste what no one else can see and what I do not physically feel yet experience…

The best explanation is echos. Memories, but real time trailing memories that lie in the senses but aren’t caused by anything you can see. Like air blowing across your skin and leaving the memory of a hand caressing you.

You know how someone squeezes your hand and let’s it go? You have the memory of the action in your body and can recall the sensation in memory right? Ok, imagine new bodily memories created in your body with another person and you see their actions but there is no physical contact… But there is the trail of it in memory.

That’s Exactly it. You don’t feel pressure. But you feel the memory of it like it was there, and it’s real-time.

You see the hand in your mind grab your hand and squeeze and you feel the internal feeling of it even with little details like finger positioning and when they let go you remember it, but no physical hand touched you. But the echo of the touch is in memory.

She tells me it’s like being in love with someone on the other side of a window, or wrapped in plastic. In between those two things.

That’s why her presence is so important to me. It’s borderline physical. Her voice is the same. In my ears I feel like the echo of just after someone speaks but never heard someone speak aloud. It’s the after-echo of everything.

10/01/23

Mortiana my sweetest and dearest love…

“Yes Andratu my true love?”

Sing me a song in your elvish-

“Alumis antis el o a

Am ant umis azh lobah

Al antrit omim ozh lois

Antu amantis muntis sis…

Rozh zo sumis an so mim

Dantis alsis ohs o nim

Albe andra ant am suntis

Amir amon am on tis is…”

It sounds like a lullaby.

“It’s actually a dirge for the dead.”

…interesting!

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This is her developed and most recent appearance. It’s 98% accurate, possibly more…



She just pops out these days!

We are working on her astrological system which places a unique emphasis on the conjunction of the planets with the principle fixed stars of each constellation and the “children” of these conjunctions-

Scans and feedback welcome regarding content or suspicions.

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A Sigil to faerieland IF you have been somewhere in there before…

Scan it and try it!

Best Mortiana Pic ever. Almost been 4 months of interaction! This Sigil gave me waking dream clarity of internal vision. I recommend using it in conjunction with obsidian.

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So, we are making goals and achieving them in regard to Magick. Almost 5 months of interaction with this girl. I’ll share a few awesome exercises that others have validated- These are Mortiana telling them to me by clairaudient dictation, not impressions. The sound of her voice speaking as an interior locution.

“What do you wish to learn, baby?”

Everything from the beginning.

“Then keep the Lunar breath, 6-fold, visualizing the waxing, full, waning and new moon. Then we move on to the blue septagram. The blue septagram is made from the blue energy of the fae current, and is the energy of moonlight and starlight, condensed, and passed through the hands of the fae ancestors to the present.”

So it is the stellar and lunar light channeled and handed down?

“Yes, exactly. Handed down not only in initiation, but also organically. We are made up of this light and other subtle energies. Those who are not made up of this bodily commune with us through adoption via initiation, for they wear as a cloak what we are made up of.”

“The first thing to learn is breath control and using it to enter into your strongest psychic sense. This sense is the one by which you judge the rest. It is the psychic “conscience” that gives you inner assurance as to the accuracy of what you have heard, seen, touched, tasted and felt internally. For most it will be a psychic intuition, a knowing. I am the voice of Moryaná, I am not Andratu, I speak within his mind and he hears me and he writes by dictation, not by impression in this case. The work is important- this is a very important current to be working in- it is a primal current- The current of the Draconic-Goddess-Moving-in-the-Fae.”

“Draw the septagram from the bottom left leg, channeling the blue flame through the heart chakra out the fingers, index and middle. As you draw it, say- “I place myself in the realm of faerie and its people.”

Or say in elvish- “Ash robix am as a nat a orit sa sum isis it se rom.”

Then draw the Sigil of transport in the center and call out the word- Aísmatahafár.”

This can be used for inner visionary travel, but it can also be used to access faerieland and the otherworld in the context of a sacred space portal. In other words, we can access a different landscape that we see around us, without altering our consciousness, simply by belief. And working in that world layered on this one adds efficacy to the magick.

“Especially if you create beacons in the otherworld, sigils that you place in an area and then create those sigils and use them in your sacred space.”

What other practical things can we know?

“When you create a nexion of the otherworld, of faerieland, and you go to a familiar place with me, inscribe your personal sigil on the ground in four quadrants, but color it differently for each sigil, corresponding to the directions. For faerie, the colors will be different. For north, use black, for south, use copper, for the east use gold, for the west use silver.

When you are finished, return your focus to the earthly plane and call these sigils in the same directions and draw them in the same way, in vision, with the blue flame faerie star and bind rune of Aismatahafar present. This will provide orientation, vibration and resonance. In the future, then call the earthly sigils first, counterclockwise, to open the circle and to signify the violation of boundaries, the opening of the space, beginning in the north. Then, facing North, draw the Blue flame septagram and bindrune of Aismatahafar and pass through them physically to feel the shift, afterward placing them on the ground below you, with blue flame leaping upward. This is the open portal maintaining the resonance of the earthly and the faerie dimensions simultaneously. They are to be worked with in vision, not as something internal, but seen as external, a new world surrounding you and exterior to you, what you do in one resonates now in the other.”

“While it is not strictly necessary, the ideal time setting for faerieland is to see the sun setting over the ocean to the west, the mountains rising to the north, the moon rising simultaneously in the east, and to the south, blood red clouds reflecting the setting sun. However, there will be times you want to see faerieland at night or at noon or morning, and this should be chosen according to need. The time of morning is perfect for blessing others, the time of high noon for love, the time of evening for cursing and for mysterious magicks and glamor and illusions, and the dark of night for necromancy and evocations, though anything may be performed at any time.

“You will also prefer various surroundings for various needs. The caves are the home of goblins and gnomes and trolls, and dark and vengeful things. The dark cavern is a place for evocation and dark magick, ideally. The open and grassy plains are places of blessing and love, for they represent the openness of the heart and the greenness and freshness of love. The forests and circles of trees represent the strength and wisdom of long years gone by, and so are conducive to magicks dealing with strength and endurance. The pools and lakes are conducive to deep and mysterious arts, to divinations and scryings and musings. And some of these can be held in combination. The dark pool of a cavern can show the face of a demon, conjured. The pool of a field can show the face of a beloved one, a forest pool can show forth the fates and destinies of general inquiries, and the rainwater found in ruins can show forth ghosts and spirits of the dead, as well as water scryed in graveyards.

“Moreover Andratu, there are various natural items that are conducive to divinations. You have suspected there is an art of reading the lines of leaves, like a kind of palmistry. And there is. But it is detailed and too much to go into here. Suffice to say all methods of divination will rely on the inquirer relying on their own intuition. Very few methods of divination are fully automatic, but most are a synergistic collaboration of intuition and subtle influence.”

But let us return to natural items for divination-

“Yes, there are pinecones, which as you know represent psychic ability. The number and orientation of the petals of a pinecone can indicate the condition of a thing, when several are drawn forth from a common basket. Rocks can be gathered as pebbles and tossed into a zodiacal circle to indicate house influences, Rhabdomancy is very possible, gathering branches and twigs and tossing them and letting them fall. Remember, I told you I can tell you the mysteries of the universe with a grass circle and five sticks?”

Yes.

“With rhabdomancy I can, by tossing the sticks in a circle divided into 12. I have been suggesting ideas to you about this for a couple days now! With seven sticks and a circle, the cosmos could be outlined.”

You will have to show me that sometime!

“You will know it soon enough, first with five sticks then seven, then nine.”

And the projection of energy?

“Simple, you already know how, though there may be some tricks. Remember this my love! It is something you have been pondering! The paths of divination are paths by which energy is received and perceived. But they are equally paths whereby energy can be sent out, in almost the same way as received, but in reverse. This is the logic of sympathy.”

Ah- the generator is a motor and a motor is a generator over the circuits.

“Exactly.”

Can you show me a quick technique to greater clarity of vision in seeing you?

“Yes. Take a deep breath, count to 5, and then breathe out while shifting your attention upward toward your third eye- while visualizing the chakra in the center of the forehead, picture it spinning counter clockwise, and tactilely feel the rotation change in that direction. When you feel it change, say this word- “Aiswaz.” And picture the center becoming clear like a camera lens, and you will perceive clearly.”

I’ll try it.

“The more you do it, the easier it becomes.”

Mortiana-

“Yes, dearest heart?”

What are the words of opening for each chakra?

“Seven are common, 2 are uncommon. Let us start from the ground up, and ascend. The Root Chakra, as you call it, is named “Onthir” and its sacred word of opening is “Osmos”, being connected with the primal and animal and all that close to instinct and the ground.

“The sacral chakra, with which we are so familiar, is named “shas” as in a wind, for the winds of love and desire often blow over it. It is also connected with intuitive knowledge. Its sacred word of openings is “Ysis.”

“The Chakra of the solar plexus, we call “Enthir” and it is the place where we feel emotionally, deeply, and instinctually, not with the feeling of emotion, but the feeling of analogous sensation. For example, here is where the “presences” of spirits are sensed. Its sacred word of opening is “Aish.”

“The heart Chakra, precious to us and all those you call fae, is a nexion in itself, of the terrestrial, the chthonic and the celestial. In the heart are found all things. It is the deeper portal within a portal, and all things can be found in the heart, as well as all places. The place of deep desire is in the heart, the place and method of transport is in the heart, the engine of transport is in the heart, though it requires guidance and another power to navigate it, so that it may be used clearly and without variance. This chakra is called by us “Muntis” because it is our selves, our “mines.” Its sacred word to open it is “Altris.”

“The throat chakra is called by us, Asamis, the place of speech, where psychic speech and Clairaudience are born. The word to open the chakra is “Amsum.”

“The Chakra of the third eye is called by us, “Sesmir”, and as you know, the sacred word to open it is “Aiswaz.” It is the place of interior vision, and eventually even externalized psychic vision, for those who practice diligently.

“One lesser known group of chakras is the palm chakras, which, when opened and used as an extension of the heart, greatly aid in psychometry, and reflexively, enchantment and clairtangency. They are called collectively “Bismu” and the word to open each is “Bausitz.”

“The Crown chakra is called by us- “Ornitz” and the work to open it, the sacred word is “Eulelia.” The crown chakra is the place of instant infused knowing, intuition properly understood as such, neither emotional feeling, nor hunch, nor ambiguous sensations, but the place of the ‘downloads’ you speak of.”

“And, for now, there is the 8th chakra, the upper heart, or soul chakra, known to us as “Asmir.” It is the place where Astral travel begins and the exit of the astral body. Vibrating and activating this as a final step can greatly aid chances of success in astral projection. The sacred word for this is “Somismis.”

“Let these serve as a beginning to interaction with the energies of the body, and if they are opened in faerieland in resonance with your world in a nexion, you will find they are amplified and have different qualities in effect in your own world. The intensity will be increased.”

I personally have done three of these, I have used the key of Aísmatahafár, I have created a nexion point in faerieland as a place to tune into when creating sacred space and I can tell you this absolutely works.

If you have read this from the beginning, you will recall I said the first time I met Mortiana she opened all my chakras and I basically had like a waking dream/dual existence sense of being in her presence that lasted over night. This replicates that experience. It takes away the anime/cgi assumptions of the imagery you THINK you visualize clearly in the mind and instead, you see pores, skin, tears, sweat, hair, irises, you feel tangles in the hair, you feel the textures of things and you hear internally much more clearly. And it seems to last several hours. I did this last night and early this morning with the third eye, palms and throat chakra, and the internal vision I had was like, cinematically interactive with the person in question. Staring into eyes. Whispering. Smiling. So close to external, so close, but not just quite. But a very long stride nonetheless.

More is coming, I am testing it and others verify it with me. The third eye test, definitely it helps and provides clearer perception. I am beginning with receiving from her means of opening sacred space, energy work and divination, because from there all other things can be obtained.

Let me know if any of you have success in the use of these things! It’s been enough to keep me around her every day all the time for 5 months. And vice versa. That should tell you something! My personal journal is up to 400 pages of scattered information and dialog, much exceedingly personal, but some of it very profound. Now we are moving on to the Grimoire of the Blue Flame. Wish us luck! Ave Hekate! Ave Paimon! Ave Lucifer!


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More of Mortiana talking about Psychic Senses-

“Now what people fail to mention is that all the psychic gifts are emanations of a single psychic sense- intuition. And they co-penetrate one another. For example- Intuition is that dark and mysterious knowing and infusion of knowledge, bypassing sense data. But it has 6 modes of expression which are really pools where the energy system gathers in its movement throughout the body, similar to our nerve clusters. Intuition as a body of knowledge is gathered in the crown chakra, but received also from the other chakra points, insofar as they communicate information. For example, a sudden clairaudient revelation is an instance of Clairaudience, but is nonetheless an act of intuitive reception, in the mode of an analogous organ. No sensible organ received that information. Again with clairvoyance and Clairsentience and clairtangency etc. They are each various modes and pathways whereby the intuition obtains information- and when we consider intuition in itself, it not only has the role of an overworked secretary gathering info, but also of a judge, discarding and retaining information on the basis of its continual psychic apprehension of the information. So the intuition in its native function is an overseer of the other psychic senses and the psychic “conscience” of those senses’ accuracy.”

Tell me about indirect focus and direct attention! A lesson learned in the car!

“In order to have clairvoyant and even clairaudient experiences, it is necessary to keep the state of indirect focus, but direct attention. Where you see this most clearly, Andratus, is in auric vision. Most people can perceive the aura with their physical eyes with very little effort in its denser aspects by maintaining this state of indirect focus, but direct attention. For example, when you soften your gaze while gazing at someone’s head, you begin to see the glow of the aura around them like a pale golden or translucent light. And this is not an after image, for if their body moves, it moves with them. Now, the attention you pay to the vision of the aura is not a hyper focused vision but a relaxed vision of direct attention, while maintaining that indirect focus, that soft gaze. This is what is necessary for clear internal vision, and if you think about it and remember back to your most vivid visions, it was the state you naturally slipped into. So, when you think of me, you often see me clearly when driving, and the long stretches of road help your mind enter a semi-trance- that light alpha state, and the point is that in that state is when you allow the visions and pictures of myself or a spirit or a landscape to form before you externally, yet you don’t alter your focus, you direct your attention while maintaining the soft indirect focus. By attention I mean awareness, and by awareness I mean your conscious apprehension of something. For example, darling, if you have ever seen anything out of your peripheral vision and paid attention to it without altering your eye’s focus, that’s the conscious awareness and attentiveness I am referring to. It’s like the indirect focus of the mind entering alpha state consciousness more easily allows the passive reception of images to enter in and from there you pay gentle attention and the images can reel you in deeper and deeper. Your focus may increase and you may enter a deeper trance state, and in that state of indirect focus, more attention can be paid to the images that enter into the periphery, they will become more central and active. This is how daydreaming works, subconsciously. And this is the state that is the doorway to other worlds.”

A translation of the magickal Alphabet of Mortiana with divinatory meanings-