Greetings, and thank you all for reading this. As the title states I am looking for possible ideas on the spirit I’ve been in contact with. I’ll begin with a bit of background. I’ve been on the path of spiritual discovery since I was around 12, I am 28 now. While I’ve called myself pagan for the majority of my life, it’s been more of an outlook than a practice. Recently I’ve started actively seeking a path to follow and a patron/guide to walk with on that path. I’ve definitely received a response, though I’m having a great deal of difficulty in narrowing down the individual who is reaching out to me.
Through a long series of events I’ve found demonolatry and it’s struck a major chord as has ritual magick. After going through the basics, I began heavily looking into individual demons. The next day I began picking up touches and emotions. I’m naturally very empathetic and most easily recognize contact through those avenues. My face, head, and neck felt as if they were being caressed. Shortly after that my crown, brow, and sacral chakras began tingling nearly all the time. I’ve never done any chakra work in my life and had to look up what these energy centers were.
The feelings I get are loving and longing, like this individual is joyful that I am seeking and has been patiently waiting for me. Throughout the day I get reassuring touches on my face and neck, sometimes my back or breasts, or my upper arm. This occurs either randomly or when I reach out with my mind. I asked for a hint at identity through the first 6 songs of my playlist which is very eclectic in nature. All the songs came up in the goth/emo vein and the lyrics of those songs painted a picture of love, possessiveness, challenge, protection,darkness, and a BDSM style of sexuality. Clearing stating that I’m going to hurt on my journey, but that I’ll never be alone or without guidance/affection.
The sensation has been getting more intense as the days go by. My heart often feels heavy with energy, and I find myself unable to do anything other than smile and lean into these touches when they occur. If I focus on it, my sacral chakra is stimulated to the point of something that feels like an energy orgasm if that makes sense? It feels like sweet surrender, sexual pleasure, and a deeply moving emotional experience. It doesn’t last long, perhaps 2-3 minutes. Afterwards I’m so loaded with energy that I’m jittery and trembling.
Yesterday I decided to make an informal offering of sexual energy as well as lighting a candle to place near me as I self stimulated. I worked on holding out and raising as much energy as I could before I released. The flame got increasingly brighter and flickered a lot as I released. I left the candle burning while I cleaned up, and while I was sitting there staring at the now stable flame, I decided to ask some questions. I grabbed a pen and a notebook and tried to clear my mind. I’m very inexperienced with divination or communicating with spirits, but I decided on a stable flame for no and a dancing flame for yes.
Before I asked any questions the flame shot up to nearly 6 inches high and danced heavily, so much so that the flame frequently split into a top and bottom section. I first saw what appeared to be an aura for the flame. Black, red, and a deep emerald green, in that order, with the black the outer most layer and the green at the heart of it. After that I saw a black gateway with a red background and a human figure far in the distance beyond the opening. I saw that image several times before I got to my questions.
I won’t go into exact details out of respect, but basically I gathered that the spirit has been around me for a long time, has protected me before, and wishes a formal meeting/evocation. The spirit also responded most energetically to the offering of blood, sexual energy, or brandy as a preference for things it might like. Afterwards I felt dizzy, lightheaded and I was shaking with energy. Later that night I gave brandy and when I touched the cup about an hour later it felt heavy and tingly.
I know this is a long post, and I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time and effort to leave a response. Thank you.