My intention is to find some comfort with others who feel similarly (if this is somehow an improper post I apologize.)
I know my desires our outside of convention, but I strongly believe myself to be rationale.
I want to be altered. Changed into something closer to someone’s ideal.
I’ve been a subject (of magick) on multiple occasions.
Beyond that, I’ve explored:
hypnosis
NLP
intentional disassociation
guided intox (with the intention of cultivated addiction)
fringe belief indoctrination
being a cuckold
other BDSM
The fundamental transaction I am seeking: in exchange for being valued, i would relinquish my agency. my freedom. That’s how badly i need the affirmation of acceptance. How badly I’ve been damaged by rejection.
I feel like my willingness to be altered is purely rationale. I’ve been taught to no value what I am, and thus would gain more from being changed into something someone considered worth possessing.
I’m a 38 yo white business owner. i’ve always known the recipe to get girls, but after so much “success” i realized the cost to all those girls was being fundamentally dishonest about myself. Quite frankly, I would rather be enslaved honestly that continue to live that lie.
I feel like I’ve played the chess game of life for 20+ years with max vigor and passion, and I’ve come to understand that it’s a game i cannot win. So I want the board flipped over - cause there’s a small chance the tumbling pieces may fall into a superior position; and even if not, at least it’ll be a new game from there. This desire is sincere. No path out of this nihilism too extreme.
Please don’t think platitudes (no matter how well intentioned) will help me in any way. But if you share any part of this ethos, knowing the other might help both of us feel a little less lonely.
im still not exactly sure of what you want here. If this is an issue of female validation…it sounds like a simple glamour would do the trick. No need for all the slavery stuff
thanks for your reply. i want more than that. in my own way i can “manipulate” the situation. girls are easy for me when i do that. but i want them to like me for true and honest reasons - which requires me to offer lopsided terms.
I mean, surely you can find a girl who is more fair no? If that is the issue, may i suggest using an entity like Tul, who can find you a woman who could love you for you. Tul doesn’t force people to love you, but he can put you in contact with compatible people. I think thats a far more rational option than giving up your autonomy
Okay but you’re not making sense mate. Whats wrong with using an entity like Tul to bring you a compatible partner that you dont have to use magick on…who will also give you a more equitable relationship? You need to explain why you feel like the only way you can be valued by women now is by relinquishing your freedom. I mean…you say you badly need acceptance, but refuse to do a simple thing like using an entity like Tul to bring you a woman who would accept you for you?
Certainly made me feel safe in prior exoteric fundamentalist belief to believe I was! Whilst my own path may be one of facing fear of freedom into enjoying liberation in freedom
Even being a sub - feels incredibly safe giving over your own autonomy
i could buy 10 girls before noon - i’m not interested in my money buying me love. the spell ur reference would come at a price - i want to feel like i gained being valued in a uncorrupt fashion.
No, it doesn’t come at a price. And by “uncorrupt fashion” …what do you mean? Simply using magick to help you source a suitable partner isn’t what I’d call corrupt. An entity like Tul would not force this woman to love you
Wait,…are we even on the same page here? Are you talking about a sexual kink of being dominated, or are you talking about a willingness to do anything to find a girl that loves you for you and not your money…because those are two very different things
All offence, but this is pathetic. Without that desire for freedom and to live life on our own terms, we are nothing more than a bundle of nerves and organs; matter, awaiting decomposition. You wish to reject nihilism, yet do not wish for a fundamental concept that can provide a chance at subjective meaning, a way out of that existential trap?
Gold diggers aren’t reliable because even the richest man in the world got divorced. Have you tried evoking a succubus? It doesn’t work that well for me because I trip myself up because I envy your ability to attract materialform people rather than thoughtform people, something just seems wrong for me.
Ah well if you wanted to just be a cuckold…why didn’t you just say so lol. When you say stuff like this:
you make it sound like you’re looking for love. A cuckhold isn’t loved or valued. If that’s all you want…then by all means…summon an entity like Paimon…after you get a woman in whichever way you choose, and instruct him to have this woman treat you like you’re nothing.
What hardly anyone understands about a cuck is he’s willing to be emasculated to live the truth, even though in most cases (and in my case) he could “fool” the world and play alpha. Living as a cuck grants relief from his lies, AND gains the appreciation of his Goddess. Girls who don’t get it feel like the cuck is so low he’s beneath being appreciated, while the Goddess understands that her greatness earns his capitulation … and she knows that no other guy could make her feel special in that same way.
Find a reversed Harem
and make the girl love you like her favorite(with magik ?) while still letting the other guys getting their fair share of the cake
you’re not free
You’re still her “perfect” man
you’re cuckold
Well, i cant say i agree with that. You’ve romanticized the term quite a bit in your head. In reality, most cucks are cucks because they lack enough spine to actually have demands and standards for themselves…and instead of doing whats hard…they take the easy path of going along to get along. They aren’t doing it out of some quest for truth. But im not here to tell you how to use your magick. If you want to be a cuck in a relationship, then by all means.
