In the past, I was an androgynous child (teen, too). I had expressed both masculine and feminine energy. To me, acting upon just one of these was not natural. I could not understand other children and teens. How could they express only masculine or feminine? Why is it wrong for a man to lack femininity?
I had these thoughts until I got indoctrinated that I should be a manly man. And, sure enough, I suppressed my feminine side and focused primarily on the masculine. I adopted the belief that transgender people are mentally ill, and similar bigotry.
Needless to say, I broke down. More than once. I felt so terrible.
But the more I practice magick and study the occult, the more I realize how wrong I was. But, more than anything, my spirits had opened my eyes fully. I can’t thank them enough for that. And so I rediscover my androgyny, only to find that my magick and everything else in life is far more potent than ever before.
After all, Thaumiel is the twin-faced androgynous god. Many of the gods / demons are androgynous as well. To me, being one-dimensional (only feminine, or only masculine) is a nice way to limit yourself and your progress. It’s also a good way to enter a shallow validation chasing as well as a ghost chasing loop.
That is all.