I just want to start this off by saying that I f***** up royally and treated a goetic spirit like a piece of s*** and fought with him.
So back during Christmas I got covid and I was stuck in my room for 2 weeks quarantining and I was already suffering from clinical depression which became more upsetting and difficult. And I made the improper arrogant decision that this was the right time to contact King Paimon which I did end up doing and I asked for just his presence and protection during my struggle.
In return I gave him some chocolates and candies, burn incense on his sigil and I always said thank you after every time I would feel his presence then cleanse the area with sage.
A few weeks after I came out of quarantine I had a appointment with a psychic medium to get in touch with my father and I expressed that I was practicing this demonology and she heavily argued against me and she warned that if I continue I will lose contact with my father and all of a loved ones. And this really shook me to my core and it scared the f*** out of me and out of all that fear I ended up swearing at King Paimon reading off Bible quotes and prayers and then fighting with him in my sleep then turning to my families religious roots (Catholicism) and attending.
I’m really upset with myself for NOT keeping a level head. And I continuously feel like more and more like a piece of s*** for treating him so poorly. Ive gotten treatment along the lines of this from my mother for all my life until I moved out at 18.
I want to make an amends and lay this to rest but I don’t even know if that’s possible so I want to ask for help and advice from anybody who’s reading this.
If there’s something that I can do please tell me I don’t like fighting or being mean/treating others poorly. I know I did all this to him.
I’ve learned that I’m an incredibly naive person and I paid no attention to my shortcomings that I constantly want better without having to put in any work for success.
I’m just upset I feel bad and I’m extremely sorry for all pain and displeasure that I’ve put you through king Paimon. I’m sorry I gave you more reasons to dislike humanity as I’ve been told you already don’t trust.
If you would, please do make your next post your Introduction here, which we need per the forum rules.
Are you sure he cares? What has been happening that tells you this is actually a problem?
None of this sounds like a big deal or anything he hasn’t seen before. The high level entities understand they kinds of crap and baggage humans have to deal with, and they’re not human, they don’t react like humans, and they have very different perspectives.
Not sure where you got this from? I’m not aware of Paimon having any issue with humanity, and if he didn’t like us he wouldn’t be one of the most popular and helpful entities to contact.
This is all a bit too much, if you calm down and call him, have a conversation and explain I’m sure it’s fine. But stand up like a strong sovereign being, they really don’t like weakness and groveling. You have work to do, if you want to honor him, get on with your inner work. Let his effort to help you be not in vain.
Now, now. While its commendable to keep a mindful track of personal shortcomings on certain occasions and putting work into overcoming them you really don’t have to talk yourself down like that
Why arrogant? You decided to broaden your experience during a really testing and hard time for you. Its in your right to put things to the test.
I started my journey because of vengeance. If this isn’t petty I don’t know what is. Everything turned out fine. Everybody has their own initial reason to start somewhere.
Its not for her to decide this
If it makes you feel better you can have a heart to heart convo with him, as @Mulberry suggested. You don’t have to grovel at his feet or anything like that.
Firstly sorry for not giving a proper introduction.
Thank you for all of your words. Because of this interaction. Im scared to work anymore. Id rather go back to the aolo journey
Anyways the reasons I believe this is going on. Eversince contacting him, I wake up at 3am most of the time, Ive faught with him while lucid dreaming like hand to hand. I here him scream in his booming voice. I tried to protect myself in a dream and as I tried to say Jesus Christ that’s my lips would fold into my mouth and I would start to suffocate. I remember waking up after that and feeling like something was holding me down.
Yes, do please make an intro in the Intros topic… click that link to go right there.
The technique you use depends on what works for you really, everyone is different. Here is the a collection of topics with basic into and tutorials, if you find something that fits your practice it will feel less of a hurdle. Simplest case, try a cleansing salt bath.
Don’t forget the search at top right… this forum has ten years of posts and it’s worth the read. Switch up keywords to see if anyone has had a similar issue in the past.
I just want to say thank you to everybody for pointing out to me that this is a parasite that would make a lot of sense I remember as I started my first round of practicing I got a very severe pain in my chest that has been persisting.
I had an ECG done saw my doctor I don’t believe anything has been found but this is very good to know.
Yeah it sounds like you bounced from practicing demonic occultist back to religious Catholic and now are trying to bounce back to demonic occultist lol. Trust me I’ve been there and still bounce between both worlds.
In all honesty it’s hard to tell if Jesus or God even truly cares if we mess with demons. And who knows maybe religion is truly corrupt and Jesus and God actually don’t care and it’s all a form of control IDK.
The book I use for demonic workings has me use different names of the biblical God as well as angels to constrain the demons. This hits a happy medium for me, I get to work with demons and develop a relationship but I also feel protected by God and the angels (even if it’s just because of my religous conditioning).
I had a sort of relationship with a Muslim girl, she believed in God (Allah) and can command angels to heal her instantly. She is also very talented psychically. Anyways she and I basically had a conversation about how religous rules and laws are put in place so that the less spiritually developed don’t destroy the world, but as you evolve spiritually you are less restricted by these laws and can even break them.
In my heart if hearts I want to believe there is one true God, a God if the universe that created everything, so me experimenting with demons and fallen angels isn’t a big deal to the creator of everything. It’s just these religions are very powerful. Even when I read the Qu’ran I was second guessing if I should convert - it was mainly from fear and gullibility.
I heard a athiest argument that basically states religions main bet is gullibility.
Magick is different, we may take a leap of faith to initially practice but soon enough we get confirmation that it is all real. However religous people claim the same thing with their prayers and God.
This probably isn’t going to be the first time you question yourself or someone else makes you question yourself maybe reframe from telling people you work with demons (even other occultist). There are a few safe places but they are few and far between.
Paimon is great and I’m sure he understands - banish and get rid of the parasite and then call him back up! Let us know how it goes!
