I need help, I'm stuck and exhausted and at the end of my rope so to speak

Not really sure how to do that. If I can do it with intent.

She listens to Christian ministers and prays all of the time. Just another reason I am repelled from that.

Damn this is fucked up. I actually dont even know where to begin with advice on this one.

1 Like

Exoteric work and study produce very limited results unless flowing from a strong esoteric ( :slight_smile: inner :slight_smile: ) conviction. Inner first, then outer. As within, so without.

Given your situation, you could work more rituals but I would strongly recommend the following:

a) Daily meditation and detachment. As much as you can. You be present and significantly detached with eyes open. Avoid entering into conflict unless you perceive a particularly immediate threat.

b) 4-5 times a day, take a few moments to write down things you appreciate that you had, have or would like to have. Visualise if you can but this is not essential.

c) Consider engaging in activity that pleases you–however simple–more often. Allow yourself some slack.

Then do your ritual work etc. Remember the key to everything is your self-concept and this is understood via authentic self-knowledge.

3 Likes

Sounds like Basic LOA attraction stuff. I do a lot of that already. When nothing changes you lose faith and it actually start to depress me to even think of things I use to try to visualize to manifest.

The only thing that has really helped and probably why I’m still alive is natures gift marijuana. If not for that I’m sure I have ended my life by now. It let’s me detach and still be present so I can work on clearing the trapped emotions and the results stick. Until another event happens then it take about 3 days of mental torment to get out of it.

I don’t know who to trust or call on any more I mean why have them not helped me, Why didn’t Enki help me more before I got evicted, maybe because my mother broke his candle?

I have never called on Lucifer before as directly and as focused. I may have cried out once. But I asked for help tonight.

But then I get thoughts like did Lucifer do this to me so I’d have to call on him? Yet I get great peace from Shiva and Enki. I have an open mind and I want to get out of this situation. I

I guess I’ll see if he helps me. I feel I have gotten some help from Angels, Archangels, Spirits. Gods but never enough to get me out of this problem and sometimes is seems the help even causes problems sometimes. This is all very confusing and difficult. I almost feel like I have been kept in this for something to feed off my misery.

I have a similar experience with a member of my family. It took me forever to realize that family means nothing to them. They are willing to take everything for granted, but give nothing back. Things finally escalated recently to a point it never has. I just feel like I have no options, but I know I do. It took me a long time to finally not give up the power I have over my own life and even the environment we share. I still haven’t resolved the situation, but the tides have turned in my favor due to hard work and my allies’ help. If I can do it, I know for sure you can.

Your trial is getting through this situation, but once you do, you can have a peaceful life and focus on your own goals. I think this is important to keep in mind because there are moments where we feel suicidal because of family like this, but if we ever give in to that sadness and despair, they win. It’s a battle. End of story. You are on a battlefield for your health and sanity. You must decide what you are willing to do, and commit to it.

My advice would be to definitely continue working with Lucifer. He can offer options for you, and IME, genuinely wants what’s best for you. Give him a chance to show you who he is, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Depending on your situation, he will also refer you to other entities that might be a better fit. Stand firm. :fist:

2 Likes

If you are willing to work with Belial to help you on this, here is a link to a ritual with Belial that would help to get rid of psychological depencies:Working with Belial

Loa yes but without a specific outcome in mind apart from just minimising resistance and attachments. Practice for the practice and not the outcome apart from self knowledge and peace of mind. Rituals can help a lot but they cannot buck attachment to a particularly negative focus to easily. If shiva and enki give you peace do more of that.
Spend time as much as possible in being in the eternal now and meditation. It is all within no matter how things appear.

1 Like

Eps makes a decent point here. To free yourself from guilt, I highly recommend evoking Azazel (the scapegoat).

I am doing that I have spoken to him a lot in the last 12 hours or so. I also had some interesting dreams and I woke up very peaceful, positive minded and hopeful.

1 Like

For those that are interested in following the results…

I did a few things… I asked Archangel Michael to remove any negative Influances eneties from my mother and to help heal the relationship as mentioned by Morn_Hyland18h

“Morn_Hyland18h
Can you try cleansing her? I always thought our house was infested with demons, but when my mother died (and i can relate to your story closely) the infestation went. Im sure if id concentrated on freeing her rather than just concentrating on the symptoms both our lives would be very different”

I also contacted Lucifer as previously mentioned and asked for the same as well as other things focusing on myself and moving out of this situation.

Today I have been very peaceful and on a much higher vibration level. The situations regarding money, lack of sales, are the same but not bothering me also while my sex drive seems to have increased I don’t feel desperate or frustrated anymore or that my situation is preventing me from having sex like I used to.

So from my experience when you’re reactions to the same situation changes the physical reality change is on it’s way. So I feel hopeful.

My mother however is not feeling well and ate something that made her sick (happens often) or she is being detoxed from negative entities/patterns who knows, we’ll see the end results. My first choice is her being a normal decent mother and having a good relationship but more distant so I can focus on my own life and dreams. 2nd removal of her from my life if my first choice is not possible. But my hate and wishing she was dead is gone. (I have never done a ritual to harm her.)

Have a great weekend everyone!

3 Likes

I feel for you. My mum is a train wreck and its forever a battle trying to keep up boundaries. After reading your post the first thing that came to mind was this movie I watched yrs ago, its called Bad Boy Bubby. Its proper fucked but it does protray just how hard it is to break away from controlling parents/partners.
I cant suggest anything as I still struggle with that stuff myself but good luck.

1 Like

Actually probably best not to watch that movie, its real bad :drooling_face:

I am pleased that you are feeling better. I suggest avoiding ritual work to create external change at this point and just be at peace–to the extent possible–within regardless of conditions. Avoid attempting to change conditions via vibration, i.e. that is something that happens automatically but trying to make it happen usually fucks it up. Somehow I think you might be trying to create change via rituals and LOA practices to the point you’re actually creating resistance. Abide in the eternal awareness that is NOW and allow thoughts, feelings and, to the extent possible, even illusionary events appear and disappear. Turn your focus away from trying to fight demons and seeming others: you cannot destroy anything because everything exists within. You can only allow your consciousness to elevate to the point it realises its Unity with all things. This best achieved by maintaining a significant degree of engaged–don’t try to hide away beyond a point–detachment and abiding in your presence, i.e. staying in the position of the ever-present witness/observer.

As for your financial situation: I might have a few suggestions in this regard but I can’t PM you. What kind of work would you be willing to do? I notice your English is pretty goo, so I’ll assume you’re a native speaker: have you considered teaching English abroad? Of course, this is but one way and there are several but I’ve noticed that there are a lot of options for Native English speakers in most parts of the world with the best paying positions, often with many additional perks, in South East Asia. I mean USD 20 per hour might not be loads in America but it works wonders in many other parts of the world. Although the power is within, our attachment to the physical illusion can allow physical changes like relocation to make a difference. Just a thought.

3 Likes

You’ve been a member here for a while, I have adjusted the setting on your account so you can send PMs. :+1:

1 Like

I dont mean to be pick out stuff youre saying, but there might be something hidden behind a misconception that she is exploiting; yes, men do have trouble asking for help, and that is a factor in suicide. But societally, it has to do with the pressure on males to be financially successful, and believe the lie that economic growth is still a thing, when it ended in the 1970s. All the while that society tells you you’re the problem because you’re not accessing these apparent opportunities, you’re getting punched in that gut, and you’re getting punched in the gut at home, either by others or by yourself. Obviously, you really need your financial independence from this person, and they are obviously playing on it, but they also might be controlling your psychological values around money, and that could be stopping you from asking for help in a clear way to sources that can help you. If you’re feeling super stressed around not having independent means or a job, clear out the brainwashing first, and realise you are enough in yourself whether you have enough to provide for others or yourself, before you want that in a healthy way.

1 Like

Update: For about a week I felt so wonderful and positive and talked to Lucifer/Enki all of the time. Money started coming in. Then I crashed into to depression from being around my mother too much and dealing with her B.S. and lack of taking any responsibility for what she has done to me or my life. For the week I was feeling great and it seemed things where going to turn around.

This is what I have been dealing with most of my life. Things doing good and then they fall apart. My money magick seemed to be working. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if she is praying against me or having her all of the “Christian Prayer Warriors” work on me or what, but I feel drained, depressed and negative most of the time. I was like the positive person I used to be and then I lost it again.

I’m also very lonely, I have really only one friend I see, I’m in social and sexual isolation and forced to interact with the person everyday that that has sabotaged my life. I don’t know how much more I can take.

I hear of people getting comfort from Angels, Demons, Lucifer, Yeshua… I have yet to see or hear any of them… I’m starting to see how people can go insane with this stuff… How do I know any of it’s real when I have no proof, no contact that I feel, see etc… I did feel Lucifer’s energy I thought when I was feeling good and kept expressing gratitude. I felt like I finally had someone on my side and now I don’t feel it. I feel like maybe it was a Placebo and The Weed (I used it because it seems to make the veil thinner, and I get really good ideas, it does not make me as happy as it used to but it does help me keep working and then sleep.)

I feel all alone and social media makes it worse, so I try to avoid it and keep working. The only time I feel energy is when using Marijuana and my Magick seems to work better.

I just get triggered by living here, Every where I look there is religious crap. And my passive aggressive mother writes long notes and messages for men telling me what she want me to believe and I have told her my entire life to stop it. If we get in an argument she runs off and then sends long texts, or write letters and prints them out and leave them around for me to “discover” It’s maddening. I have asked her to stop 1000 times. She leaves she says because I yell. I have 30+ years of resentment (that I have worked on for years and continue to) and I have to be around a person that refused to stop interacting with me plays Christian Music and Minsters every fucking day(and I don’t hate Jesus, I just see him as the fictional version of Yeshua that has been used to control people, but still hearing their lies it’s tough) This is some form of Cruel and unusual punishment.

I tell her I can’t stand being here and she could help me with the money to move but she won’t. And tells me to just go get a job if I want to move. Mind you I’m working all of the time trying to build up passive stable income from my online and freelance businesses and trading crypto. So I’m not lazy, and I’m skilled and I work all of the time. I just don’t want to go get some crap low paying job or start a new career I don’t enjoy and be a wage slave.

So the person that sabotaged me when I was making over $100K a year now tells me to go get a $15 an hour job if I want to move (which would not allow me to move), and to make things worse, I did do exactly that before and she followed me and started again. So I have a constant fear that if I do move she will follow me and it will all start over and I can’t take it again.

I have 3 storages full of stuff also (at least she has helped me with some of my bills, but had she left me alone I’d have never needed her help and would have helped her as she should be retired. She just turned 80 and due to bad planning and her whole life focusing on me still has to work. I’m sure she will live to be 100 just make my life hell. If I move away and break the connection I think she will die. I think she’s an energy vampire living off my energy and I have felt this way for awhile.

I’m really trying to stay positive listening positive, music, inspirational things. I need to meditate more I maybe. I don’t know. I don’t understand why no help is available to me, why no one, GOD, Lucifer/Enki, Angel, Human will actually help me get out of this situation. I’m doing all I can do. Even if I decided to sell off all of my stuff in storage and move it would be a ton of work, and probably not make enough to be worth doing it. Which is why I’m focused on generating recurring income streams via online sales and getting more freelance work. I’m actually backed up with work at the moment that I have already been paid for.

I ran into a friend at the store and she kept telling me how smart, and talented I am and that I should try to get hired out of state for a company that would pay for me to move. But I now have bad credit, an eviction on my record and I also don’t have college degree.

I don’t see how I can get out of this with out a manifestation from another level of consciousness, or divine intervention.

1 Like

Hmmm…hard to offer advice from a different perspective. However, consider relocating for a job that will get you out of this illusory rut. One thing you need to do is detach from the situation and your thoughts/emotions about it, i.e. just let them be and watch them but don’t get entangled. Also, avoid trying to force a “high vibe” that usually causes more strain.

All of this, although it seems outside, is within. Of course, you’ll need to detach and remain present to see it. None of the negative things you are experiencing are the whole truth: they are only aspects of the whole that you see according to your state of mind.

I would work with the archangels in this case. If you’re in a tearing hurry and can’t detach effectively, work with Marduk, Barashakushu and Luggaldimmerankia from the Necronomicon spellbook. At this point, do not engage in baneful magic.

1 Like

Unfortunately, you are not alone at having a messed up mom stalking you. My husband has the same problem. She has called police on him to check up on him. She has sent out a private detective to check up on him too. She has called his place of work. (fortunately his last workplace did not give him a phone number.) She has told my parents that he is crazy and shouldn’t be with his son. He gets crazy cards from her sometimes where she tries to treat him like a little boy that needs to come back to her. Fortunately, the stalking isn’t constant, in fact we havn’t seen much from his parents in a while. How she raised him however took a terrible toll on his self-esteem, and unfortunately it shows and makes it difficult for him to get work or deal with women of a certain age. He does have a bachelors degree, but his parents keep hounding him about getting a masters, but naturally that is impossible to get without the self-esteem.

First I want to say that I’m sorry for your situation. I have a mother very similar to yours. She does everything in her power to keep me under her thumb and if I express independence, she becomes upset and then start doing things without my consent (ex. Disclosing my disabilities, even in situations where they don’t need to be disclosed). She also loves talking trash about people to me, and often complained about my dad to me growing up. However, I was fortunate enough to have a dad who was sane enough to keep my mom from getting to your mom’s level. Though I’m afraid that if something happens to him, she might end up becoming that mom.

As for your magic suddenly getting worse, there are going to be times where it may lapse and that’s normal. But the more you keep going at it, the better it’s going to get.

And speaking as someone who has struggled with similar situations, I can tell you that you need to do your part to make this work too. Depression sucks and can be crippling, yes, but writing 10 paragraphs about how your life sucks every time you have an episode isn’t going to make the problem go away. Self-pity is okay in small doses, but not if it’s your only way coping with your predicament (trust me, I know).

Working with spirits is about doing your part to manifest your desires. Spirits aren’t always going to do the work by themselves. If you truly, sincerely, want to get out of your horrible situation, you gotta work up the confidence to tell your mom to fuck off.

Start small; it can be things like “My shirt looks nice.” And then slowly improve those statements until you say something like “I deserve better than this.”

Also: remember that these things take time. Magic is a process and your problems won’t evaporate instantly. Don’t throw in the towel when you try it once and you’re not getting the results as quickly as you’d like

3 Likes

I very sorry to that… I think this is much bugger problem in society than people know. I’m probably going to end up writing a book once I get out of this to help others and have done it myself.

1 Like