I need a love advice

Love, Sex Magick & Relationships
1

Hello everyone. I need help from the forum because i feel really confused about the situation I’m in.

I dated a narcisistic guy 3 years ago. I realized he was using me sexually when I was taking antidepressants. These pills made me really submissive and I was doing everything he wanted whenever he wanted. I felt used because I was in love. He was lying everyday and on dating apps as Tinder while we were on a relationship. Once I stopped taking pills and confronted him, he left me dealing by myself with the abstinence syndrome. King Paimon helped me at that time.

Since then, I wasn’t able to trust anyone. I’m sexually very active but I wasn’t attracted to nobody. I had some crazy sex during this time, tho. I enjoyed, but I wasn’t able to cum??? I really think I’m mentally and emotionally blocked just to have sex with unknown guys at this point, but I did have unknown sex.

So, here comes the crazy part. So many people are attracted to me but I don’t feel secure enough to have something, even if they are hot.

Until this guy showed up.

We met each other 10 years ago, we were teenagers. First time we had sex was 7 years ago, and he already was dating a girl. He broke up with her. We did not talk to each other very often, everything was like “hey how are you?” sometimes, like internet friends and that’s all. Not a long time ago, he said “did you know you were one of the first girls I had sex with in my life?”. Felt weird but I liked it. He remembers me as on of his first sex partners and someone who is REALLY attracted to.

Last year, during summer, he asked me if I wanted to hang out because he was in my city with some of his friends at a single party. I said yeah. Long story short, we were so drunk. That was one of the wild sex nights I had during this time. I had sex with this guy and two of his friends the same night, same house, different beds. AND he had another girlfriend, Again. Second time we have sex and he was dating another girl.

I always liked him because he is fine as hell, he is funny, we love the same music,… Idk, So when they went back to their city the next day, I was feeling like shit. He cheated again with me again, and I had this crazy sex night with multiple dudes (crazy how this happened after I had contact with Sitri).

We didn’t talk anymore, until March of this year. He broke up with his girl, and he asked me if I wanted to hang out again with them one night. They weren’t in my city, but they were close. So I was about to go, but they were not buses that night, it was late. We were sad about that, but everything was cool. We were talking by Whatsapp, really drunk (again) and I told him I was really horny about the idea of seeing each other. He said he felt the same way. I also told him I had to assist to a friend’s wedding, so I asked him if he wanted to be my partner. He said he would love to join me. I asked my friend if I could bring him but he told me he wanted an intimate wedding so I might bring him only if we were dating. Once I talked with this guy and told him “forget it. Only boyfriends allowed”, he called me in front of his friends and he asked me to date him so he could come with me to the wedding. That was really funny but I felt something in my heart, like warm, Then, he also told me he could visit me the next day. I agreed. That day I had the best sex of my life. I enjoyed, we were able to cum multiple times and it felt so good after all this time. Since then, we did not stop talking everyday by Whatsapp. He visited me again two weeks later, and again, best sex of my life.

Past month, during the wedding, he was so stunning and good looking. He also was looking at my dress like I was the sexiest thing he saw in his entire life (I had never wear a dress so that was something new for both of us). That felt so good. We danced while flirting, we enjoyed, we drank so much, we kissed,… and again, best sex of my life. My friends though we were dating because that is what I said so he could join me. But they really were thinking we were looking so good together. That charmed my heart when they told me we make a sweet couple.

So we did not stop talking. I also was missing him. But I wanted something more. I really wanted to date him. I was planning to move on to his city since I once was living there (5 years ago). All my friends are there (including the guy who just married). And my goal was moving, and then date him. But he sees me as a friend. He does not wanna date me. He said he needs to stay alone and not worry about no one, since he broke up with this girl not a long time ago and his relationships were shit. But he does like me. He told me that so many times. He knows me really well since March, and he likes it. He doesn’t wanna date me, tho. And that made me cry. He told me if this makes me feel bad there is always the choice of just leave this situation we are in, so it does not hurt me anymore because he appreciates me.

He asked me “and what if I wanna have sex with another girl?”. I actually was assuming that SINCE MARCH he already had sex with another girls, I was wrong. He did not (and I did once since we talk, not very proud because as you know, I was not able to enjoy or cum).

I really like him. I don’t wanna lose what I have. After all these years, I was able to feel AGAIN. I was able to cum and feel attracted and wanted to repeat with the same guy. Idk what to do. Idk if I should leave this situation and wait until I feel something again for another man. Idk if I should wait until I live in the city again. Idk if I shoul continue having sex and talking with this guy everyday since it makes me feel so good. I really think he is the right one but that is a bad time for both of us.

What should I do? Is there any demon or ritual that could help me? I really need an answer.

P.S. sorry for my english. If there is something you don’t understand or if I sound repetitive, I apologize.

2

My honest opinion, you should just move on.

After ALL that, if he still only sees you as a friend, he’s only in it for FWB.

If you want more, and he doesn’t, don’t keep dumping time and attention into this situation.

You’ll need to process and let go.

Let me say this as well, if you had a good time, enjoy those memories and don’t let the way things turned out make them bad, sour memories. Enjoy them for what they were in the moment.

I would recommend an entity that can help you through some shadow work.

I think your best bet to start would be Astarte, or another like Astarte (love goddesses that can help you with confidence, self esteem, and sexuality)

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@crookedpathfinder I swear I try to forget him but I really think I love him. We know each other from a long time but i feel so good since we started talking and flirting in March. He told me he likes me but he cannot be in a relationship right now. And I understand that. But everytime I remember him I wanna repeat and repeat, and he does, of course. I know for sure if I try to move on, is gonna hurt like a motherfucker… I’m already crying lol

I’m gonna check out for Astarte tho. Thank you so much.

4

What your describing sounds like a sort of “love addiction”. Or obsession

You’re addicted to how you feel with him and you want it to keep going or to have more.

He’s trying to let you down easy without screwing up his chances at future booty calls.

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Can’t put it better than @crookedpathfinder really.

You also really need to stop getting so drunk you make bad decisions and let people treat you like a free whore. This risk taking behaviour is self sabotage and you deserve to treat yourself better.

It doesn’t sound like you have anything, tbh. He’s a player and you were convenient and easy. They never marry the thots, they cheat on their wives and girlfriends with them.

Stop there and be thankful for that, use it and now move on knowing what you want from a relationship better and how to get it.

You could try Paimon but, here’s the thing, if your comfort zone is being used by Narcs, then if you change his personality with magick to a decent guy, you won’t like him any more anyway, he won’t be that guy any more. And that guy is no good for you.

It’s an addiction controlling you. I think, you’re a witch so you should act like one, stand in your power, respect yourself and stand up for yourself, because noone else will.

If you could use him as callously as he’s using you, it wouldn’t matter, but that’s not the case, this can get worse if you keep building this connection from one side, the higher it feels the harder you’ll fall.

Why not have mercy on your future self now and cut it out while the going’s still good?

Belial. He’s good at breaking addictions and helping you know yourself, and regain your sovereignty over yourself and your life. But, fair warning he doesn’t go easy.

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I know it sounds like a fuckboy hahah.

We really had deep convos about this. He said he would like to stop this if I’m really in love with him because he cannot give me what I need, tho. I really understand him but I also understand myself. It’s not just a fuckboy because in that case he would let me be there despite my feelings. He said he wants to talk with me tomorrow about this. I already know what he is gonna tell me anyways.

But it’s really weird, I really felt something about him and thought he was the right one.

7

I already had contact with Belial, he is very powerful and mischievous. Never thought about addictions with him but will try it.

I know it might be an addiction since I was 3 years in a bad situation because of the narcisistic guy. That’s why I am confused because this boy treated me sexually with a lot of respect and was taking care of me asking everyday how I feel. We know each other from a long time, you know.

8

It really doesn’t matter if he’s a fuckboy or not.

It’s not going anywhere with him.

Well, then you’re playing yourself.

He’s been clear, it seems.

So, are you not being clear then?

Are you suffering from “fear of missing out”?

There’s a whole world of people out there. He’s not some golden goose you need to cling to for dear life.

If you can resolve your internal issues and struggles you can look for or sort for a good relationship.

You’re operating from a scarcity mentality.

There’s no such thing as “the one”.

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thanks. I will work on myself so.

10

So that’s it, it’s over and you just have to have the strength to admit it.

IF though? What a cop out. He wants you so go “oh no it’s fine” and keep breaking your heart, but now it’s your fault not his, because he already told you he will. If you keep doing it he’ll feel no remorse and think you deserved it for being weak. This is a really irresponsible and dick move, he’s faking you out.

No, this is what he wants you to think and like I said, it’s full narc irresponsibility… nothing is ever their fault… he’s definitely playing you, and this is exactly what he’d say, for sure. He’s turned the head games up to 11 and you cannot win this, it’ll end in hell for you, get the fuck out now.

Remember all the things you want from a real relationship? You know if he meant it he’d just break up, or suggest a break, hang out as friends, join his circle get involved with each others lives and see if you have something in common other than sex.

Look at all the things couples do that you are not, and if you want those, go find a real guy that can do these.

You’ve already got your answer: it’s a big no, move on. Go cold turkey.

Yeah, it’s a well known trick, look up “love bombing”.

You’re into narcs, that’s ok, it’s common for many people brought up by narc parents, it feels familiar and normal to you… it’s the root of the “girls like bad boys” bullshit and it comes out of childhood trauma, and narcs share that trauma so you have that in common, but also means they target people like you knowing you will put up with being treated like shit. They even do ‘shit tests’ to make sure (look that up too).

But you need to understand yourself a lot better and know why you do this, why you like to get so drunk you lose control, why you don’t expect better, why you don’t resent the bs. Stop playing around and start researching and learning.

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@Mulberry Why are you assuming he is a narc? He does not even do drugs. Like i understand what you are saying but i don’t think it’s necessary going that deep or being disrespectful to talk about what is familiar for me or not.

Maybe is a culture thing idk but this is not that deep or “bad boys” thing.

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Narc = Narcisistic, t’s not nothing to do with drugs, and it doesn’t mean he’s diagnosed with NPD = Narcisistic Personality Disorder. Everyone behaves narcissistically on a spectrum, from being a doormat (not narc enough) to having full on NPD. But people on the more narcissistic end of the scale can still ruin you and treat you badly, and that’s what he’s doing to you, he has all the hallmarks of someone behaving narcissistically towards you.

if you don’t know what a narcissist is in detail you need to learn asap. What you don’t know, can destroy you, take my word for it. Is he that bad? Well if he hasn’t asked you to lend him money, not so much, but you should keep it that way.

I tell you what, if I’m right, and he’s as narcissistic as he sounds, I’ll give you a prediction:

When you try to end it he’ll pull the victim card, and play on your sympathy to take care of him, apologise for making him sad/mad and accept all the responsibility, and keep giving him free whoring anyway, because fuck you.

Is that what you want, cos that’s what you very well might get.

And at that point @crookedpathfinder has a point: now you know it’s on you to deal with it. There’s only one way to do that, and it’s to get out and far away, no contact, blocked everywhere. Cold turkey because you’re the addict. Hence Belial.

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@Mulberry

Omg i’m sorry. English is not my first lenguage so when i read Narc i thought you wanted to say Narco.

I know what a narcisistic is like I was dating one, but i don’t think this guy is narcisistic. I really think he only does not want a relationship right now. We talked about it, he told me if I wanna move on if i feel in love, he would understand. He also said he would not feel comf if we continue like this if is that case. That’s why i needed an advice. Any demon or ritual that can help me to feel good about myself. He did not play as a victim any time and that’s why he wants to talk about this so we can make a decision.

He is not a bad guy tho. And i know for sure im not a bad girl either.

About getting drunk… Is not that hard. We like to party. There is so much party in this country. It does not end always in sex or chaos tho. I was partying so many times (not always drunk either) and did not have sex because i really don’t want it. That’s the problem also. I don’t feel desire for nobody but this guy nowadays.

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It’s your life, but I stand by my words, and I did not call him that lightly, it’s literally what you described.

Again, what does he mean “if”? There is no “if”. And yet he plays games with you instead of ending it as he just said he knows he should.

And you, you’re defending him and making excuses. Did you notice that? Why?

It’ll be fine, it’ll wear off and you’ll find better guys that are emotionally available. Just give it time, and treat yourself well. Eat healthy, get good quality sleep, work out and learn some cool things, work on yourself and put your life priorities first. He’s wasting your time and energy making you feel sad and lonely, so stop that. You’re young and have everything to gain by moving on now, not later.

Still Belial.

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@Mulberry
Yeah i dont know why im defending him, its useless.

Thank you so much. I will contact Belial again. I wish he is not rude with me. He usually sends me bugs to my room so i freak out a little bit haha. He also makes me argue with someone i love (like my dad). Maybe that is what i need. Argue with this guy so its easier to move on… Belial might be a good choice.

Thank you again.

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