Hey, all my life I don’t think I’ve ever experienced happiness, never experienced love, I was always just ghost in everyone’s life. I was shy and others put aside introverts whether they admit it or not. They just don’t understand anxiety, shyness, mental illnesses. I’ve suffered from depression ever since I can remember. My family emotionally abuses and my mother doesn’t let me have any control of my own life. My only romantic relationship was with an abusive narcissist. I had a physical illness that took 4 years of my life. Absolutely nothing good ever happens to me. Only abuse and pain. To say I’m devastated and defeated is just the start of it. I am too angry. Today is my birthday and I spent it crying and all alone because no one cares or even remembered it. I know I’m a child, I didn’t expect anyone to crown me today but just to remember me? I do the most for everyone else and no one does the bare minimum for me.
My point is: I’m not a fighter. I’m trying to get into magick in order to find a light at the end of the tunnel but it isn’t working, I’m probably doing it all wrong. Was wondering if anyone could link me good begginer spells or even have some free time to guide me? Thank you everyone.
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What have you been practising so far?
how old are you? are you male , female? i feel you there
First of all happy birthday and you are not alone
What kind of experience do you have in magick?
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Thank you 
There’s one girl that caused a bunch of problems in my old relationship (relationship ended last July) and she still keeps cyberstalking me so I tried spells to make her leave me alone, I have tried spells to find love, money spells. Nothing works
Thank you
I’ve started practicing since September
Most welcome
Any particular entities you work with?
I’ve tried evoking with Belial and Lilith but I don’t think I did it right
What was your evocation process in summary form?
I drew their sigil, put their enn playing on Youtube and just tried speaking to them
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Happy birthday and I truly hope it gets better for you. I never realized how hard so many people have it until I myself started to have it good. I definitely have to bring something to all the lost out there so they can find themselves. People like you who are at the end of your rope I’m seeing way too much of it here on this forum these days. My heart goes out to you all of you in that place.
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Maxmimize your energies and vibration , workout , eat healthy drink lots of water. Try doing some chakra work to deal with the emotional damage you have dealt with in life , shed your ego as much as you can and try to wake up with a purpose so that u aren’t focusing on yourself and your shortcomings so much , it’ll be hard but it will help
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My magic rituals also didnt work and I have strong prohibition from spirits to practice more magic. For some people it just won’t work. I dont know why. Maybe it will work over time
Well personally I don’t prefer… Using electronic devices during ritual… (not saying that’s the reason for the hangups
Lol I just remembered an episode of family guy where Peter met Spider Man on top of a storey building… Was asking Spider Man to help him get to another building… Spidey was like "what’s your name… Peter… Okay Peter how would you feel if your were Spiderman and I came to you… Hi I’m Peter… Do stuff for me
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Point is, I doubt whether we have any control over this. My life is also crap, and I can do nothing about it. The spirit chooses its life, for a reason probably, if it chose crap it’s crap meant to be. That’s what I think for now
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Thank you truly 
your comment brought tears to my eyes 
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Naaaahhh. Nope
I read Sth… Lemme copy paste it
Build rapport with Belial…im sure he has noticed you