I’m sure you are not ugly. Every woman is beautiful in their own way. The problem is that in our society the media has defined female beauty in such a narrow and unrealistic manner.
I know this may sound corny but I’ll say it anyway. Embrace and love your body the way it is right now.
Now as for the guys. Males mature mentally and emotionally slower than females. So you may have to wait a few years for the guys to catch up to you maturity wise. My experience from my life was that men under age 25 were fairly useless as boyfriends.
Yes ofc my gf is overweight and i dont mind, i would love it If she did lose a couple of kg but not for her looks but for her health.
Looks as i said is a tool.
Its a tool that gives you attention and confidence.
But beauty is subjective and its also a thing that doesnt last.
For me a persons personality is way more important then looks.
Ive meet some really pretty girls but ther IQ and general personalitys have been horrible according to my preferences so those women would never have been gf material i could have sleep with them but thats all they would be for me.
Im sorry that you call yourself ugly im sure thats not true but If its true in your mind thats all that matters you will wear that selfimage and ppl will reach to that on a subconcious level, you are your worst enemy, so first step is be happy and comfortable in being yourself that will give you a confidence that is sexy as hell.
I have to take some issue with the make up advice. I live in “the land of no make up” which is in the upper Midwest of the U.S. (States of North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Upper Peninsula Michigan.)
Most women here don’t wear make up or if they do it’s very little. In fact most cosmetic companies have learned that their make up advertising dollars are just wasted here and they concentrate their advertising spending else where.
If some one around here is heavily made up most men look at that as being fake and kind of ugly because the woman is masking her real beauty.
So to wear makeup or not to wear make up is more of a cultural thing.
Also anthropologist Margaret Mead was “supposedly” considered “ugly” by the beauty standards of her day and yet people were always amazed that so many men of all ages and economic levels were clamoring to be with her.
Personality and Confidence are the sexy-ist traits in the real world.
Wow! Didn’t know place like this even exists! And also I wonder if women can be really beautiful without make up? At least after a certain age! I mean do check out hot celebrities without make up, most aren’t even recognizable!
Yes, personality and confidence matters a lot for sure mainly cuz you make love with lights off !!!
I can tell you that just being physically attractive will not guarantee it either, and I say it being supposedly such person- I can not find a girl completely, because some character traits are added to this.
If a guy walks up to you and says he really likes you and wants you to be his gf you would immediately set up your female defences and say that you both havent gotten to know eachother.
You cant say that a guy has never walked up to you and tried to woo you or that you have never had səx with a guy before. So…
I am making this forum inefficient ?? How do u know she had sex before? Plz think before you say something. I am trying to be nice and boost her confidence . Thank you.
Everyone has given you some sound advice and all you’re doing is whining and bitching. What the hell do you want to hear? Our path isn’t about telling you everything you want to hear. It’s about telling the truth and if you don’t love or take care of yourself, you’ve got slim chances of finding a man. That’s just how it is. It may be unfair but so is everything else.
I think we do it because looks = appearance of health and fertility, which is status for women, the same way men have other status symbols (including, but less reliant upon, looks).
We might not want to bed gramps but we do want him and everyone who sees us to perceive us in a good light, and that includes other women, whether or not we consciously or unconsciously compete with them.
Could be, I’m now waiting for an intro from her, but the topic’s got some great replies that may be helpful for other people with the same fears, so keep 'em coming.
But I can see where you’re coming from. For me it’s because beauty makes me feel a certain way and I like for others to consider me attractive but I’m not so sure about the whole fertility thing. That never crossed my mind until now actually.
That probably happens at a sub-conscious level.
Just like we respond to stress, without being aware, of it being a coping mechanism for stress. We don’t know why we do it, but we do it.
Clear skin, symmetry (the purpose of a lot of eye makeup) and plump colourful lips all signal health, even the scarification used by some tribes shows allegiance to the traditions and healthy ability to heal, almost all female makeup is about looking healthy and until very recently, fertility was the main bargaining chip women had to acquire security and power, and personal fulfilment.
Women can appear to have bigger eyes than men and eye makeup emphasises this difference, even subcultures like the black lipstick of goths, or using weird lenses that look like catarcts, are just riffs on the same basic theme.
Some of the hardest (male) mofos in history wore a fair amount of slap as well, accentuating brows and making their eyes stand out, so it’s not totally simplistic or just limited to us, but most female makeup is about adding an appearance of health & symmetry, good markers for baby-making.
I also read somewhere that makeup was designed to simulate a woman’s face during sexual arousal. The tint of blush on the cheeks, the plump, redness of the lips, the lazy, hooded look to the eyes. I think that dovetails nicely with that you said about emphasizing health and fertility.
First it’s what a person is used to seeing. If most of the women one sees don’t or rarely wear make up and when they do wear make up it’s so little you can’t tell it’s there. Then that’s what you expect women to look like and then when you see someone wearing a lot of makeup it is jarring to the eye because you’re not used to it… That’s where the “OMG it’s so fake” reaction originates.
Now as for older women without makeup looking beautiful. No one who is 60 or 70 is going to look like a young babe in her 20’s and that is an unrealistic idea of beauty.
As for Celebrities, we get used to seeing all made up and airbrushed so that’s what we expect. Also the human eye and brain is far more able to appreciate the complex subtleties in a person’s face in person that even the best camera can not capture.
Also I feel that there is a quite simply elegant beauty that an older woman with no make up who is confident in herself radiates.
I have a theory about this. For 10’s of thousands of years human depended for survival on all members of our tribes/clans but in particular the elders both Grandpa’s and Grandma’s who held the knowledge of the tribe needed for survival and also watched the little ones when their parents were either hunting or gathering. So I feel that deep deep down in the back of everyone’s human mind there is an encoded genetically sense of the beauty of the elder both male and female. I also feel that we have lost touch with that part of ourselves in our “advanced” industrial societies.
