“Power” is the ability to bring a given amount of energy to bear in a given amount of time. It takes work to build up your ability to do this, and it takes learning through practice to work out how to apply the energy you have built.
Think of it like getting a 200 lb bench at the gym: there’s a lot you can do to optimize muscle growth, but it still is a skill and development thing that takes time, you have to have good form, and if you have bad form and try too hard too fast you can get injured and that destroys your ability to even train for a while. So it is with magickal power.
Look up the concept of “magickal fatigue”, the sickness people feel after running more energy then they’re used to, it’s directly analogous to getting delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) and after they recover from that they don’t feel it with the same effort level any more. Run enough energy through you to get magickal fatigue once a month or once and you’ll get stronger faster. As below, so above.
There’s more kinds of magick than just ceremonial.
Have you tried using tool-free magick that you do by basically sitting on your arse looking like you’re meditating or listening to music? You can build an astral temple and do full rituals in that, and the act of using an astral temple also build your skills, or you can try shamanic journeying to talk to entities, or visualisation techniques.
You can practice and not look like you’re practicing.