I thought the same thing too. Actually, I think my heart has become more soft. I say that loosely. being an empath I can get all caught up in emotion. What has come for me. Is being better equipped to handle that.
Now doormat soft - awww hell no. I WONT ever be anyone’s doormat infact people push me too far and Ill show them what a door mat is used for.
I can be vicious. I can be cruel and I can get quite dark. and on the other hand I can be the most loving person you ever met. Key thing is. If your dangling to far on one side of that or the other your going to tip. BALANCE.
You’re absolutely right about the balance. Historically I would take and take and take so much, but after that it was the switch I spoke about. And I go for the kill at that point (metaphorically.)
I could be wrong but I think my biggest issues were the fact I was handled the way I was and i cracked me. It did, Who wouldn’t it. So when the independent me would try to rise, I would shove her in a box for I was being taught, your not an individual and you dont matter. It went hand in hand with the horrific stuff I was seeing around me. I got scared and wrapped all that up, and by 17 had buried her and her psychic shit. She would rear her head and I would cram her back down and at that point called it my pandoras box. Sounds funny but I was really dealing with some shit. I ended up with a psychopath as a husband and I shoved her farther down. Point of this is. If you keep hiding it, someone is going to unlock that lock. When she does surface its a earth shattering event. Since I let her out so to speak, when I feel that building up I can direct that energy.
It’s definitely easier to use and direct the current. I’m glad I made this thread because there are so many more pieces fitting together. I think like with you, she’s also been actively working weather I’ve seen it or acknowledged it. But now knowing makes it a much smoother transaction.
A wise man told me about a year ago maybe a little more.
Watch the signs. When you open up your mind and look at the signs around you its amazing.
But I think the energy of that person literally tipped the box over I had been stuffing for so long. At first, I got unfocused, things just went bonkers but after a while things settled down a bit.
I find if a person has a lot of power I am drawn into them. Its just all really weird.
Deities like Lilith and succubus/incubus entities can be very good therapists when dealing with trauma and other psychological issues. That’s because they’re not only work within the energy current of lust, but within the tree current of emotions. Lust is just a branch of the tree.
I’m a man, and I’ve never had a problem with Lilith. I know of a few magicians that she didn’t like, though. That’s because they either put her above, or below them. She prefer to be in the middle.
But, What I feel off her is not far from the energy I feel off of Lucifer ( I mean to me he is more playful where she is like OOOOOH hell no. But I have also seen him push her aside and say, I GOT this.
Yeah, she has manifested like that for me, too. She can be on the highest of light, to the lowest of dark. She often have an authoritative, motherly approach with me, and she’s nurturing and loving, like a mother to her child. Very patient and tolerant, without being judgemental to failures. But when she want some kind of progress, she will push it forward.
Yep. that is the lilith I deal with. She motions alot to me - its a weird thing both of them do. Like tiny breadcrumbs . I have flat out asked her why are you here. All I get in response is her lifting her hand and pointing onward. I have heard her speak its quite cryptic and can get down right demanding when I dont listen.
I have countless stories of both of their times with me. its really been a trip.
When I go to bed, I often astral project. Lilith is often carrying me and walking me on a circular steps, like these round and tight fire escapes at the back of apartment complex. She also presses her body against me, until I get inside her womb. Lilith is behind me, when we’re lying on the bed, and my succubus spouse is in front of me. No wonder I always longing to go to bed.
i have, it gets really interesting. But that has been within the last year or so. I didn’t know who they were, actually thought a couple of troublesome spirits were bothering me to be honest and kind of blocked them out. Well, as I find out, you really shouldn’t do that.
Two, if they spoke to me like everything else did, it wouldn’t have had such an impact on me.
Now that’s where my story takes another turn. Lilith nor Lucifer have ever laid their hands on me other than to shake me up or direct me from harm. Its not been a sexual thing. Though it does energetically, they dont normally touch me. I have had things touch me, let me tell you. And when shit like that goes down, there will be a hooded man in the corner and he breaks the shit up quick. This is where my biggest confusion is. All the stories of Succubi and lilith and all the sex and stuff. Its just not been that way with me. No, I dont have a partner at the moment.
all I know is they are a strong force around me and Im not sure I want to oppose that. Im just on new ground here, been drowned in light.
