III.
There were talks of my alma mater possibly rewarding us board examination passers (specifically, the licensure examination for professional teachers, commonly known as “LET”) for last September 2019. As much as I’ve almost forgotten the whole thing, Monday began with news of how my examination ratings and ranking were cited as a major example in the college department about how they “should start implementing a reward system (whether it be via cash or certificates of recognition) for both current and future successful LET takers”.
I was already informed back in 2019 that I received the highest rating out of all the LET takers from my college, which I even wrote about here:
However, to find out that I actually ranked a spot in the Top 20 out of all the 83,152 LET passers from the entire country was quite a strange feeling. I wondered about the real purpose of this information being brought up for discussion now, though I didn’t pry into it and just politely listened to the college dean so I could quickly go back to my usual morning routines. Whether this is a remaining influence of King Belial due to closely working with him on this matter before (not to mention he used to emphasize how I should take pride in myself, never shy away from recognition, dare to stand out, etc.) or a possible opportunity for something I began working on a while ago to manifest, I’ve yet to see.
True to that sudden call, the day was quite chaotic. I rushed through the morning stretches and exercises with Dad and morning meditation time was interrupted due to correspondences with my alma mater. One student was also throwing a tantrum due to his father leaving early for work and not following up on a promise, therefore refusing to join the Zoom class. Thankfully, the mother was also very helpful as I coaxed and calmed him down. This student’s classmates were also offering him encouraging words to finally join the class, which was actually quite sweet to watch. Witnessing this made me wonder about the concept of integrity and promises, as well as the effectiveness of my classroom discipline come another batch of younger students this June.
IELTS class also brought in some chaos for the day in the form of an intensive Speaking Test. We were tested on how we would fare with strict interviewers who are infamous for their “I have no time for this. You’re the 21401384th IELTS interviewee for the day so Imma just cut you off real quick and see what happens” style of interview. The instructor sent a barrage of questions coming our way throughout everyone’s individual turn. The way everyone’s faces on the screen looked was actually meme-worthy, and I would’ve laughed and taken a screenshot if I wasn’t also one of those meme-worthy faces waiting to be called. I received a 7.5 rating from the instructor at the end, but I’m aiming for an 8+ or 9 in all areas, so I think it goes without saying that I need to practice speaking more in pressuring situations. I then thought of asking a spirit to help me with maybe influencing what kind of interviewer would test me on the official examination day, but for now, it would be a “Nope”. I can’t explain it, but I’m feeling this determined drive to ace things on my own.
Listening Test practices were also conducted, wherein I finally got band scores of 8. Looks like marathon-ing those Gordon Ramsay: Best Insults Compila—I mean, recommended British shows—are working. Now, if only I could maintain these and try upping them to an 8.5 when I can.
I was able to squeeze in some meditation afterwards. Though in this one, I gradually felt drawn to visualizing all the accumulated chaos of the day clearly and completely leaving me. It took some tries, but I gradually felt myself relaxing in the afternoon silence. I would’ve continued meditating for another hour, but I was interrupted by a video call, this time from my Mom who was very excited about the reward possibility I previously mentioned. I still feel so awkward and overwhelmed about it all, so I had nothing more to share regarding the matter as she bugged me for details.
I did a re-check of what’s needed for the next day’s lesson and answered messages from the parents before typing down the divination interpretations I will be sending to a querent. I finished half of the tarot reading before my younger brother asked for help regarding his homework. And since Mathematics and I have been in an estranged relationship ever since it brought alphabet letters into the picture, I was knocked out cold afterwards without even the slightest meditation done.
You can watch a short yet accurate representation of that Math tutorial session below:
Tuesday was of forgettable routines. No interruptions or scheduled IELTS classes for the day, so proper morning routines and allotted meditation times were followed again. After lunch, I finished and sent the tarot reading I worked on during Monday night to the proper recipient before helping out with another divination question. This request, however, was asking for assistance in interpreting an already drawn spread. The previous messages were very short and confusing answers in contrast to the clear (too clear, actually) and detailed layout used, which is what apparently prompted the querent to seek further insight about it. While I respect that different readers have different styles of reading, I felt quite sad and disappointed upon examining everything, in addition to the seemingly insensitive and dismissive approach towards serious concerns and follow-up attempts for clarification.
When I was done, I advised the querent to simply take the interpretations (even mine, honestly) with a grain of salt and trust his/her discernment/intuition regarding the reading. That, and to also try understanding where the reader’s “confusing and rude” approach may be coming from, as I was able to tap into his/her exhausted and distracted (?) energy while examining the reading. I would not have excused this as a reader myself, but since I’m simply a neutral party here, there is honestly no point in responding nor returning the insensitivity back. No use in passing any sort of judgment either because everyone has their “off days” (heck, mine could’ve even gone on for years then) and I don’t really know what the reader may be going through behind the scenes at this time. The purpose of the request must also be kept in mind: the querent wanted clarity and insight, not additional confusion, stress or drama regarding his/her situation.
I was re-acquainted with President Volac’s presence for a while upon interacting with another member here who had very interesting stories to share about him being her protector. I felt a sense of happiness and friendly warmth upon having that member confirm Volac’s approval regarding my opinions about him. I might have to try contacting President Volac of my own accord in the near future, as I’ve observed feeling a sense of enjoyment and enthusiasm when speaking about him. I also discovered that I was keeping and maintaining an e-shrine all along in my laptop’s files! No wonder I strongly felt drawn to consistently updating its content, tidying everything up by organizing and naming files properly, re-reading stuff every now and then (without the usual cringe I feel when looking at any old stuff I made) and the like. I can’t help but ask: was that confirmation not only from Volac, but from other spirits as well from that e-shrine, that I have actually been doing something worthwhile all this time? And I was just blind to notice, because I was still too absorbed in basing and defining “progress” on common definitions/applications of it (i.e. having actual shrines, devotional altars, external accessories, etc.)?
Music meditation before sleeping and I liked how deeply I fell into meditation this time. In my mind’s eye, I saw myself serenely floating on a body of water. I think I also saw flowers and color schemes, which are very similar to the ones in this card, surrounding me:
I found it quite interesting, because this is the Queen of Rainbows = Pentacles in the Osho Zen Tarot deck, and the QoP is my traditional significator no matter what deck is used lol. I could swear I also felt sensations of gentle waves around me, but I was too sleepy at the time to figure it all out.
Sharing this experience makes me miss swimming though, which is the only sporty(ish) hobby this nerdy potato has before the nearby amenities were indefinitely closed due to the pandemic.
Giving credit where credit is due: a well-deserved shout-out to members @THEKING and @Gabrielle for confirming and inspiring me with ideas not only about President Volac, but also about the concept of e-shrine! 