And the other 10% is lopping heads so no ex can blab what’s really under the codpiece! 
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He would get nothing from me with THESE SHOES
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Exactly 
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Those are slippers, but yes that and he might not have the moves.
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Yeah probably slippers… because he’s OBVIOUSLY trying to save time !
Like, after 5 hours dressing, he decided that … fuck the shoes man, I’ll go with the slippers 
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The past times crocs, then
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Agreed, Boxer-Briefs are the superior choice.
Though, Boxers are fun for reasons: https://www.instagram.com/p/BvdYzW-gTMC/
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What moves? There are two moves for that guy… standing or falling. That’s it 
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I’m rather fond of this rendition,
I think I’ll name him Lemony Snicket
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I look at this guy and wonder “where the fuck did you get a hot dog” then look a little closer. Still no idea what he’s actually holding
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Those are gloves.
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…why did he decide he wanted to hold his gloves in a portrait 
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When you’re wearing furniture… you can hold your gloves 
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Lol I like cheekinis. Don’t have enough assets for thongs plus they are uncomfortable… though lately I’ve favored plain Jane like that just cuz no ones seeing me anyways.
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Thongs: exhibit A 
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You need to go with the mesh style for that. Feels like going commando, but there is a buffer. Silkies too.
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Triggered!
At my age, it does not matter what you wore. It happens! 
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