Help me become a God of Sadness

General Discussion
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I want to embrace despair, be enveloped in hopelessness, and become a god of sadness. I am to become the Prophet of Regret.

I have experienced severe depression in my life; at one point I became so distraught that my soul left my body. When this happened my sadness was overwhelmingly present. I was a hollow husk embodying the zenith of sadness, but it was no longer painful. I compare it to being similar to a long drawn out orgasm of emotional pain. It sounds weird but I loved it.

I have since overcame my depression and I’m psychology “cured” of it. But heres the thing- I want it back. I want to be able to use sadness as one of the driving forces in my craft, and as I said, become a god of hopelessness.

I can already do it, but not at will. Emotion bubbles up from deep within my heart chakra, rises up through the throat and builds up at my eyes. Astrally it makes me shed tears and burns my eye sockets with what look like electrical scars of black, purple, and pink. It’s not just sadness though, it’s any emotion.
Love, for instance, is another powerful one. But all emotion is felt through the medium of sadness. When I feel love in this state, it’s a heartbreaking love. Like the love a mother has for a child that has passed away. Its a sweet and wholesome love, deep and overwhelming, but completely heartbreaking.

I have this ability within me, and it’s a part of my soul, but I dont know how to control or intentionally access it. This endeavor may sound strange to most of you, but it is important to my development. And besides that, we are gods in the making no? Who’s to say what is and isnt off limits for finding the power within ourselves?

So. Do any of you have insight or recommendations of a particular spirit that may be able to help me with this? To become the Devil of Despair?

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I don’t think you have ANY concept of what you’re asking for there, and I have been speaking to people who REALLY know their shit about how bad eternity and becoming consumed with some very despair-inducing forces can lead.

You think you can master it and enjoy it, without necessarily realising that if this is granted, everything that gives you enjoyment and mastery will be forever stripped away.

Please reconsider.

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I agree with Lady Eva. That being said I understand the emotionality and the beauty of it. Some crosses are made for specific people to bare however, if you can forgive the idiom, and if you think this is for you I will trust your decision. Work with death energies if you want this, they have it in abundance…

Dont mistake this though I see people destroy themselves with this. They might think they enjoy it… perhaps emotions are a drug?

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No, I’ve considered it. I should’ve been more clear that this is an aspect I want to become in tune with. It is foolish to put all your eggs in one basket, but I want to put some of my eggs in this one. Like I said, I already have the ability I just want to master it. It grants an enormous amount of power to me when I do, and I do not lose my sight of what is “good” or “bad”.

I 100% agree with what you’re saying but I am not aiming to be a wandering parasite that causes and feeds on suffering. I want to rule the current.

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Emotions are very much like drugs spiritually speaking. But that goes for all emotions, and when properly utilized even “bad” emotions are extremely useful and productive. Not to mention, being a “god” of something also entails control over that thing. This is what separates spirits that live in pain from spirits that rule pain.

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Its also probably worth mentioning that it doesnt feel like death energy. It’s very “life”, it contains vitality.

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I pmed you

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If it was his cross to bare, he’d be living it. I know people living in pure misery, and they are hollow ghosts barely holding on to their humanity and life. Being online, on a forum, is such a foreign concept to them, as they are just trying to survive. The depths of sadness, regret, depression, goes beyond homelessness, drug use, etc. It’s ingrained in their bones, their psyche. It began the moment they chose to come to earth as a race/color that would see to it that they would suffer, feel regret, feel an undying yearning to be that which they are not. To think drugs is as far down as one can go in this ultimate, soul-bending misery rabbit-hole is actually sort of insulting.

I don’t think OP even knows what they’re doing. If they really wanted this path, go and be homeless to start. There’s no beauty in that sort of suffering, that deep malaise.

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With all respect, I have done that before. There is no beauty in it, it is pure misery. Unless- there is a certain sort of energetic linkup that alters how the body and mind perceive the situation and energy. Its tricky but it can be done; I honestly dont know if everyone can do it, judging by how quickly this thread got overwhelmed with criticism I doubt that it’s in any way a common ability. I do know what I’m doing, ive done it before, but I need to learn how the mechanism works since I cant seem to control it well. Hence why i also asked if theres a spirit that could act as a teacher.

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The only spirits I know of that could teach you to become this are the very ones whose mouthpiece I am being, in cautioning you to reconsider. :thinking:

This isn’t just a kneejerk response because I’m shallow and think the world should only want conventional “nice” things, this is coming from having seen some horrible stuff.

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I understand LadyEva. I personally believe that one cannot master something unless they master it’s opposite. One cannot truly master Death unless they have equal power over Life. So again, I’m not trying to absorb myself in toxicity. I actually think that the most important part is some kind of… idk like I said it’s an “energetic link” so something kinda like a very specific set of yogic exercises working with emotional nadis.

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If you really want that, the only spirit that comes to mind that might be willing to help is Oizys, a daughter of Nyx who is the personification of those emotions and rules them. Interestingly enough, her twin is Momos who is a spirit of mockery.

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Let me give an example of despair, this was recently referenced elsewhere on here:

Murder of Junko Furuta

According to their trial statements, the four of them raped her over 400 times, beat her, starved her, hung her from the ceiling and used her as a “punching bag”, dropped barbells onto her stomach, forced her to eat live cockroaches and drink her own urine, forced her to masturbate in front of them, and forced her to dance and sing to songs while being beaten. They inserted foreign objects into her vagina and anus, including a lit light bulb and fireworks. They burned her vagina and clitoris with cigarettes and lighters, and her eyelids with hot wax.

… Due to the severity of the torture, she eventually lost bladder and bowel control and was subsequently beaten for soiling the carpets. She was also unable to drink water or consume food and would vomit after each attempt,[9] for which she received further beatings.

And:

Furuta’s attackers doused her legs and feet in lighter fluid and set them on fire. They also pushed a large bottle into her anus, causing severe bleeding. She reportedly went into convulsions. During their trial, they stated that they thought she was faking a seizure, so they set her on fire again.[9] She survived these injuries and continued to be raped and tortured. Furuta is reported to have asked her captors on multiple occasions to “kill her and get it over with”, but they refused. Instead, they forced her to sleep outside on the balcony during winter time and locked her in a freezer.

Do you think she felt despair when she begged them to just kill her, and end her misery? I’d say it’s likely.

So in theory, the boys who took 40+ days to murder this girl, would be masters of mercy and all things benevolent?

It doesn’t work like that.

But if you become a god of despair, there are plenty of other cases like this, and worse, where men, women, children, and animals, are all in utter despair and hoping only for annihilation.

Is that what you want to become the god of?

Would you like it if the only time you got fed, is when people are doing things like this, when they can create enough despair in their victim that the air becomes palpably tinged with your special vibration?

I say one final time, and with all due respect because I know I’m jumping down your throat here, that you plan is ill-considered and you cannot begin to grasp what would happen if you become linked to energy like this.

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Choose to help, or choose not to. I’m already getting valuable info elsewhere. In regards to the scenario you outlined-

Yes. I want to rule that current.

The situation the girl went through is sickeningly horrible, I recently read about that same case actually. The perpetrators are not rulers of the current, they are facilitating and causing an enviornment/situation for that energy to occur. The girl isnt ruler of the current either, she is subjected to the environment/situation and generates the energy, and is then unfortunately slave to it.
Let me be perfectly clear and say that I do not condone what those boys did and am not criticizing the poor girl in any way.
In mastering the ability to do a 180 on how the psyche interprets its surroundings, you can change how the energy works. So for example, if I were to undergo this same situation (being ruthlessly raped and tortured) and I had this ability mastered, the input sensation of pain would no longer be treated as “painful” by my mind and body. It just simply is and my mind could theoretically adapt to gain power from it. What is it magicians like to say, “All is Mental”? Satan, Belial, Lucifer, they preach this as fact. Mastery of the mind is mastery of the universe.

Functionally speaking, this is a very angelic ability. Angels absorb negativity and pain into themselves to help heal and prevent damage. I knew an incarnated angel who worked a spell to temporarily switch bodily sensations with a girl who was being raped; the angel feels everything and all the pain for others. What I would be doing is similar, in mastering this current and ability I could harbor the pain inside myself but allow my psyche to interpret things differently allowing for a totally different paradigm of the same energy and scenario.

I understand the severity of what I have just said here, no doubt you’re thinking I have no clue what I’ve just said and cannot or will not grasp the true horror of it. I avoided bringing up extreme examples for this but since you did I must say that I retain my position. It is possible. It doesn’t translate as well into lower realms like the physical as much as it does in the higher ones, since mental planes are far more malleable and have more influence the higher in vibration you go.

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@Tekidor

I would seriously listen to the advice being given here. There is a far greater thing you don’t understand about the higher life cycle.

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A less extreme example in the physical perspective would be say, I hold a thorny rose and it hurts my hand. This is partially because my mind recognizes the nerves signals as “pain” and therefore says “this is painful and unpleasant”. With this power mastered I could grip the rose, my nerves send pain signals, and my mind interprets it as “this is painful, but empowering and pleasant”. This is also the premise for negative emotional sensations and inputs.

In the extreme case of rape and torture that is a HUGE stretch, I dont think I could get there in one lifetime. No matter how much you go to the gym you won’t be able to lift a whole train.

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But any processing of despair which turns it into something else is, by definition, not despair: it’s hope, or detachment, or alchemy, etc., as the case may be.

Only if you both sincerely envy her that feeling, and also wish they’d not killed her so fast, so she could have carried on despairing, wishing to die for months, or even years, are you going to become a god of that specific current.

And if you did succeed, your vibrational level will be very likely to pass a point of no return.

Anything else, and you’re moving into angel of mercy territory. :thinking:

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I dont think I’m getting through. Perhaps what I’m attempting to achieve doesn’t translate well through words. It’s not hope; it is sadness and pain but through an altered perspective and lens. It does not feel “bad” but it is unmistakably the same “thing”, it’s just a different “interpretation”.

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If you’re interested in that energy because you for some reason find it pleasing, you’re placing yourself in very great danger. I know I’m replying to you a lot here but I’ve seen the consequences of stuff like this and it’s a trap, basically, and the trap will only become visible once you’re inside it.

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Yeah I get it. Thank you for being concerned, I would be too if I thought someone was about to permenantly infect their soul. But it’s a lens… it’s something that alters the perception of energy. It can be done with any energy, but for me its easiest with sadness. I’ll consider what you’ve said, about the trap. It doesn’t feel like one, calling it a “lens” is a great way of describing it I think. You cant look at the sun directly, but with the proper glasses you can.

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