Hello, I'm IrisAthena

I’m an almost 40yo female & I live in the Chicagoland area. College-grad, bisexual, story-teller by nature, sometime artist, yada yada.

I’m more RHP, I truly hope that’s ok. I won’t go preaching.

I’ve been a student of comparative mythology & comparative religion pretty much my whole life. I’m gonna go into a sort of religious/spiritual history for myself; I hope y’all don’t mind. I’m an only child, parents are both Christian, but from different denominations, which led to my open-mindedness & searching for the truth in spiritual matters. Mom came from some small Pentecostal group in Kentucky, which honestly sounds like an abusive cult, to me (church most of the day, many days a week, everything was a sin that led to FIERY ETERNAL DAMNATION! :japanese_ogre:). She doesn’t like to talk about it & I don’t blame her. It took them a long time to even get a radio & phone (cause those were of The Devil, ack!) They weren’t snake-handlers, as far as I know, but they’re into “speaking in tongues” & other things I find unusual. She’s a “general” Christian, now. Dad was raised Roman Catholic, but lapsed before I was born. I almost solely have contact with his family, since my mom’s family is states away. Though I did visit Mom’s relatives, last year & now they’re all trying to save my soul. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

My grandma liked to think of herself as a hardcore Catholic, but she was also into the occult. She’d vehemently deny it, lol, but she was big into astrology, numerology, omens & portents (superstitions), lucky charms/amulets, divination, folk cures, etc. She was Italian/Sicilian & I think there may possibly be some “strega” in my lineage. Or maybe all old Italian women are like that, idk. I’ve had a handful of lackluster psychic dreams in my life (about unimportant things) & my grandma said she would have those, as well. I also did a spell with her & an older female relative, once, to cure the malocchio, lol. She would deny this was a spell. Anyway, my grandmother has been the biggest spiritual influence on my life. Unlike my cousins, I was not baptized & my grandma would warn me every time she saw me (which was a lot) that I’d go to Hell if I didn’t get baptized, one day. Pretty much the only info or participation in religion I had in my youth was from my grandma. My parents didn’t practice & asking them questions would result in 2 different answers for me & a loud, angry argument for them. (On one occasion resulting in my mom screaming, “FUCK THE POPE!” lmao. They tried to convert Mom… it didn’t work.) My immediate family didn’t go to church (we never even had a Bible in our house until I was a teenager), except for when Grandma would make us on Christmas Eve & Easter. Grandma’s house was a shrine of Catholic decorations. Besides the ever present giant Bible & images of the Pope, Jesus, & Mary everywhere, she had a little personal shrine set up & favored St. Francis of Assisi & St. Anthony (images of them around, too). She’d do novenas with candles which seem like spells, to me. I took the occult info/practices pretty much on par with the Christian ones.

Ok, this is getting long, sorry! I was a Wiccan for most of my teenage years & a Buddhist for about a minute (though I’m drawing closer to it, again). Dad was fine with me having a permanent 9’ circle in the basement for rituals; Mom thought I was conjuring Satan. (I never tried that.) I have experience with ghosts, shadow people, & possibly demons. I was a kick-ass Tarot reader for years, but never charged for my services. Had many come to my house for readings. Did a somewhat scientific experiment with my Tarot readings & found my accuracy rate was about 85% (or something like that), which my most used deck. Unfortunately burned that deck during one of my fear-based lapses back into Christianity. I’m on the fence between general Christian & Agnostic, again. I do believe spiritual beings exist & magick works, I’m just chafing at all the horribly abusive & contradictory BS of Christianity & wondering again if it is just something designed to control the masses or the Judeo-Christian God is real & powerful, but a giant asshole. ::woman_shrugging:

Anyway, after a near-death experience I had about 8 years ago, I’ve been trying to get a handle on what I believe, again. Desperately trying to understand what happened with that & who the beings are that were there. It was terrifying. I’ll write about it in another post, in a more appropriate place.

Recently, I’ve been consumed with watching a certain YouTube channel where this guy in Maine has a lot of spiritual activity in his house. He went from not being a believer to chatting with ghosts & possibly a demon. They already tried to kill him, once. His home used to be the mortuary/funeral home for his small town. It appears the undertaker may have been a murderer. The ghosts told him they were buried in his basement. He dug down there & found human-looking bones. He has full names for many of the ghosts & looked up their history in the town records & it’s really fascinating. Many of us in his Facebook group have been trying to help him, cause he knew nothing at the start & does some dangerous things. I fear he’s going to get dead or possessed. (Oh yeah, I was possessed as a teen, btw.) The demon already admitted it forced a previous tenant to commit suicide & that ghost is still there. It’s really enthralling.

So, mostly, I just want to learn & chat & hang out on here, if that’s alright.


It’s perfectly all right :slight_smile:

While most of the members here walk the Left Hand Path and traffic with demons, we do have plenty of Right Hand Path members as well, so welcome to the BALG forum :slight_smile:


Thank you very much for the welcome, @DarkestKnight! Pleased to meet you. ::tips invisible hat:: :wink:

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Hey, I’m also a RHP bisexual girl ( if you’re ever interested :wink: ). Don’t worry about it, there are lots of other RHP people here too, be whoever you want. You sound like such an interesting person. I used to be with a pentacostal church too and my parents are both also extremely catholic praying for my soul so I definitely know the crazy. Can’t wait to read about your experiences.

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Hi, @blueberry! (such a cute name!) Heeeyyyyy, alright, another bi-RHP! Nice to meet you!

D’awwwwww! Thank you! Haha, ahhh, yes, they both have their own brand of crazy, don’t they? Thank you very much for the warm welcome; I really appreciate it! :smiley:

This is the YouTube channel I was talking about. This is the first video I saw of his. You can skip a decent amount of the beginning. He has other videos where you clearly see shadow beings & hear either a demon or Edmund speak. The one where the (what I call “demonic”) voice says, “GIVE ME MY SPACE!” made me laugh. It wasn’t even threatening him, just wanted to be left alone in the basement. I’d love to hear what you guys think of the activity in this house.

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Thank you!

Hi Iris, welcome and thanks for the recent like to my post. I was brought up in a religious jewish home :see_no_evil: and funnily enough I too am around middle aged and secretly bi. In my years of travels in seeking when moving away from jewdaism, christianity too :see_no_evil:, Buddism too for a bit, Wicca, etc and I used to be glued to the rhp ‘to keep myself safe’ , but life isn’t that simple and straightforward in my oppinion, and on my truth and searching for answers, and at wits end over the years brought me searching down and understanding the lhp and that ultimately brought me here. I prefer to know the whole picture not just the ‘black’ or the ‘white’ I guess (Id like to master both) in a sense, so might be called both yet neither… but I generally dont like to be reminded of my ‘birth’ background/‘religion’… I guess the ‘spirits’ took a shine to me since I was a baby too (more stories) and my late dad was into kabbalah, and his mother well… etc, and my mother has a lineage down to Issac Luria (ari) all the way to king david… I generally dont let people on about this but generally occultists and wiccans see me as no potential so I dont bother unless one see’s something in me, and maybe one day find a suitable teacher (still seeking) just going it solo and learning and making many mistakes too - ok, anyway this was all abit all off topic… I wont bore you with my life story (endless…) cuz it has been long and difficult*. Very difficult.
Also I see you’ve had a nde too. It seems obviously you were caught down there alittle linger than myself :joy:
Also If your in the mood of giving me a tarot read Id much appreciate it :slight_smile: . And I would be happy to give you feedback.
All the best and enjoy your search.

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Hi, @Eve1! Wow, seems like we have a lot in common! :slight_smile:

Yeah, that doesn’t work, does it? :confused:

I hear what you’re saying. I’m starting to realize just how much trying to stick to the right/light has weakened me. :rage: Reminds me of that Gloria Steinem quote, “The truth will set you free – but first it will piss you off.”

I’ve been delving more & more into kabbalah & I understand how one could spend their whole life learning about it. It’s so complex it’s daunting.

Wow! :open_mouth: Color me impressed!

Whoa, that’s some bullshit! Ran into some bitchy witches, huh? I’m sorry.

My condolences. Hug!

I’m sorry you also had a NDE… unless it was good for you, in the end. Santa Muerte is currently helping me to understand & come to terms with what mine meant.

I wish I could, but I don’t have a deck I could use for readings, right now! I’m sorry! :slightly_frowning_face: I also haven’t read in years & it seems I have to do readings for awhile with each new deck before they start getting really accurate (& some decks just never “clicked” for lack of a better word with me). If I end up getting a deck & getting good with it, again, I will give you a reading.

Thank you! You, too! :grinning:

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Greetings, I am simply known as Mani-the old Norse word for the moon. I’m quite young in the sense that I’ll be 18 in a month or so. I’ve dwelled in Christianity for two years from 2016-2018 and consider myself to be a Taoist, middle path Vitki.

I work with Lady Freyja for seidr and I work with the Egyptians when it comes to the times of needing to work with them. I practise shamanism for the most part but I will use magick for my own advantages if necessary

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You sound like an amazing person :grin:. Loving your vibes. I’m happy you get it (me). Thanks for going so thorough through my post it means alot :).

Exactly, I hugged dry the rhp and it didn’t help. Like one of the lhp books I read once said something along the lines of that ‘demons might be strong, but never doubt the power an angel too’ ( not quoting it precisely but you get the gist). One can work with either one, both (sometimes), or none… in my oppinion. Its about walking through that thresh hold of fear that has been indoctrinated, and that’s through armouring oneself with knowledge of what things are and understanding it etc, and even becoming aware of the things that just goes parading around with a scary mask lol.
Exactly, you nailed it there for me too, keeping it solely to the right hand path made me feel weaker too… and nicely added quote; - it does piss one off at first doesn’t it? :sweat_smile: ;and sometimes it can even arouse fear among other things … but in the longhaul the key is not to have fear… but thats another jouney in itself :sweat_smile:

(Quote:) “Bitchy witches” :joy:. :ok_hand:

Yeah, I think I might try that too, working with Santa Muerte, maybe I needed to hear that, as I need more clarification too. …

Yeah, I find that too (not that I’m an expert) one gets aquinted and intune with the cards and sometimes with certain card decks… and when you stop doing it for along awhile one gets the “do I still have it still?” doubt moments sometimes. I had that feeling when I stopped doing Reiki over some years… but like someone said ‘It never truely goes’ all it neads abit of brushing off and practice but once you find your in your element again it comes back, and Im sure you’ll find it too. So no worry, -and no need to get a pack of cards just because of me :sweat_smile: lol. But if you need a bounce off to regain the skills at some point my offer still stands, give me a shout and see if Im around if you wish; and even if you get 1% at first out of 100 - theres no judgment lol. You have it in you somewhere for sure, if you needed it, and thats all that matters.
Its been great talking to you, have a nice day :blush:

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Nice to know some more about you, @Mani! We were talking on the Interpreting Dreams thread, before.

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D’awwwwww! Thank you! :blush:

Awww, you’re welcome. :slight_smile:

Yeah, I think I’m at that stage, now.


Haha, glad you liked that. :wink:

Just an FYI, I’ve heard in about half the research I’ve done that once you make contact with her, she’s with you for life. And many say she doesn’t play well with others. But, as in everything, there are other people that say you can stop working with her & she’s fine with others. I would just caution really researching her a lot before deciding to make contact. Here’s a video I found helpful. I love this woman doing the vids; she’s great!

Yes, though I think it might be something like building up energy by using the deck often. Like it becomes more attuned to you or something? I’m not exactly sure how to explain it, but maybe you get the gist of what Im saying.

Right. Thanks. :slight_smile:

Hehe, awww, that’s sweet, thank you. And I will.

Same here, sweetheart! Take care. Hugs!

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