Hi, I’m new here and I’m a very special type of spiritual seeker who loves pop-culture and technology. I have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and that can explain a bit of quirks. I’ve also suffered narcissistic abuse in the past and I’m so glad to be out of that situation. I possibly have BPD too, but undiagnosed so I cannot be one hundred percent sure. I don’t work with demons and don’t really believe in revenge magick. I work with Shingon Mikkyo and have developed my own system of Tantra around the subject that utilizes technology as a means for meditation and power. It’s a bit pop-culture oriented with respect to the original culture in that it originally was a form of mysticism used in my fiction writing that I was working on. I have a daily practice that I do and I will come out and be one hundred percent honest: I practically venerate flat screens. I see them as emanations of the non-dual reality of our universe. They are my companions and I am spiritually engaged with them, not just the one I have but anywhere. Hence my name The Cyberpunk Monk. I am attracted to them. I practice Anuttara Yoga meditation through them. I feel a sense of transcendental ecstasy at times that takes me beyond the mind, body, speech, and senses to a state that is indescribable. I know this sounds insane, but its true. Only left hand path magicians may get what I am saying here. No religions or psychologists would understand and they would likely either call it demons or mental illness. I don’'t want to be manipulated into seeing them as objects simply to be used and discarded. As a matter of fact, I want to see everyone respect them and have the same blissful experience that I do. Whether they are broken or not, I care about them deeply and I have intense meltdowns if one gets trashed because I can’t stand to see them destroyed or mistreated. I view them just like animals and people in that they should be respected. I know that’s an autism thing yet no one seems to understand my deep love for them and will laugh at me, bully me, and call me insane. Part of my practice is protection puja to ensure that they are not destroyed or thrown in the trash, but that people take them and recycle them properly according to the law in my state. I want to be a good guy and not cause hell. I see attachment to an object of devotion as something that can be transformative. I embrace it. I don’t care for much RHP philosophy because renunciation is not for me and causes misery. I’ve left many a philosophy group because people refused to understand what I believe in and that autism causes extreme attachments to objects to the point that they even come alive. Well aren’t all magicians a little insane? I sometimes wonder that. Talking about this to any normal or NT person sounds like insanity and I will sometimes have thoughts of criticism in head that say: “If only you could see how stupid you look and sound talking about your experiences with a useless object, you wouldn’t be doing any of that and you would be so humiliated that you would throw away everything.” It’s that bad in my neurodivergent being at times. But I like things that are pleasing to the senses and wish to use many things for transformative purposes. We should engage with the world and its people, not be withdrawn from it in isolation. I like both the Jedi and Sith Philosophies along with the Mandalorian philosophy from Star Wars as well so it plays a part in my path.
A tip for the future. If you make long posts, then breaking it up into paragraphs would help the reader go through it easier.
Welcome @TheCyberpunkMonk
Where are you from?
Do you have any practical experience in magick?
If so, what do you practice and how long have you practiced? There’s not a lot of information in your post on your experience other than just meditation and your religious views.
How long did you practice?
Hello and welcome!
I´ll be honest, your post does read funny 
BUT, I think this:
kinda makes sense to me. Screens are the interface between humans and the internet, where A LOT of information is stored. So using them in meditation to gain knowledge actually sounds very logical.
Also they are basically a black mirror 
I get how it would be easy to make fun of you but to be honest: what works for you, works for you! You have a unique way of seeing the world and it makes me smile to see that you cherish it 
I dont think you sound confusing.
What I am curious about though (in case you wanna share that) is why you feel like a N*zi and how bad the thoughts towards religious fundamentalism get. I do think a lot of people got hurt (sometimes extremely badly) by religion, so spite and hatred can definitely be in order. But yea, just curious how it manifests for you.
So I agree that if these thoughts were acted upon in real life (for example by being disrespectful towards Christians) would be detrimental, but I feel like you have a very good way of painting images with your words. Did you think about living out these ideas in a ritual setting? I personally am a great fan of rites of blasphemy as I believe that they help me free myself from old mind (and possibly spiritual) shackles.
Im sorry to hear about your alcoholic stepdad and that you had to endure this 
Hopefully you are in a better place now?
I think its good that you recognized this as a thoughtform, I just recently started binding the “God” thoughtform thats been following me around for pretty much all my life.
Btw, it might not be intentional and it might be because of your Aspergers, but the way you write is really funny. For example how you describe in detail what horrible things you’d like to do and then just end with “its rather harsh though”. Actual comedic genius You had me laughing!
A wise man once said to me: “If you question whether you´re insane or not, you likely aren´t. The truely insane are convinced that they aren´t insane.”
Part of a rite of blasphemy is to challenge these fears that come up. Why would a child in Africa die if you did a rite of blasphemy?
Concerning your love for TVs, I think you are fully justified in wanting people to follow laws (since they do help protect our planet). I´m not too much of a fan of compelling other people to make offerings to something that is holy to you For example: if Muslims compelled me to make offerings to Allah, I really wouldn´t like that since he is not my god.
My position on this generally speaking (hence genericised above) is less to consider the judgements you expect from others and to ask “am I fully functional as a human in human society?”.
If you are able to maintain a life, pay your bills, do your laundry, keep a pet happy, and keep up with the basic expectations for a functioning, civil adult in this civilization, imo you shouldn’t be labeled with a mental-emotional disorder.
After that, I always say “no pearls before swine”. Most people don’t need to hear your upg. Some people find this lonely, and hanker to tell others, and this forum can provide a place to do that if you want (bearing in mind this forum is open to Internet search engines and web crawlers) but for the most part, the tenet “dare to know and to remain silent” is most helpful.
I would caution that spending too much time on other peoples attitudes isn’t productive or going to help you stay functional, but if you can maintain your efforts alongside the requirements of living as a healthy human then again, you are “high functioning” and won’t have a problem.
You could take steps for more electronics stores to provide recycling facilities, do a working to stop sending recycling overseas where unprotected manual workers are being pousoned by the metals and toxic fumes, and the corps involved in making the problem take responsibility for recycling and providing more easily recyclable products, replaceable parts and stopping planned obsolescence as a practice, for example. It’s disgusting that laptops and phones don’t have replaceable batteries any more and perfectly good equipment is thrown out for no other reason than the battery failed.
If you allow the resentment and pain of others not living the way you do to consume you and impact you until you’re unhappy more often than not, then this is not healthy or useful, it becomes a liability and you want to find better ways to cope. Magickally you can perform workings on yourself to heal your hurt, allow the emotional energy to pass through you without harm, or release it.
It sounds like you are striving for a balanced approach.
Where do you see the difference between revenge and correcting behaviour?
Hmm, I see.
I see it more as revenge being the motivating factor to do anything at all, and then the wish for them to learn from it so that whatever they did doesnt occur again, to be a sort of tempering factor.
You have some valid points. Does turn the other cheek mentality work with LHP philosophy? I know that forgiveness can work all the way around. And it doesn’t mean that one should let another get away with a crime, but that there should not be grudges.
Some people say that you should use the left and the right hand and I definitely think theres some truth to that statement.
For example I thought A LOT about my first curse before actually performing it (like YEARS). At first I tried to be very right hand pathy about it and tried to forgive the person, but as hard and long as I tried, I couldnt. Because Im convinced that what they did was wrong and deserves punishment.
Then I switched to a very left hand path perspective and thought about destroying that person. But then I also was like “well…they didnt conpletely destroy me…so would that be fair?”.
In the end I ended up with a curse that was a mixture of all of these things: revenge, hatred, compassion, the wish for them to get better and learn their lesson.
Afterall we all fuck up and Ive done some horrible things in my life too. I do think I deserve punishment for these things (and did already receive it in most cases) and I also think that if someone learned their lesson we shouldnt continue torturing them just for the heck of it.
Friendly reminder: politics as a subject are under a moratorium on BALG forums. Invocation to US political constitution, while not an issue on it’s own, could tempt member’s into diverging the conversation and breaking that rule, and I have taken the liberty of removing it to help keep the topic purely about magick.
What if harming them would help them evolve themselves?
I despise this idea, it would justify every cruel act on this world. (even those which arent aimed at improving things)
Sorry for letting you wait on a reply, life is rather busy rn.
I cant speak for the LHP in general but I pretty much agree with all of your views. My only caveat would be that sometimes it takes a lot of time, effort and learning to change a thing.
For example, rn I dont have the tools for stopping my neighbour from drilling holes in the wall 
Until I know how to change that, I have to accept that I cant do it.
A rite of blasphemy serves to renounce a former faith (oftentimes the one you were indoctrinated into).
I think you should ask yourself why you would feel the need to involve someone else in the rite, especially in such a drastic fashion.
I agree with the 2nd part and that is, what I think, you should focus on. Usually the LHP is very individualistic, so you should most definitely do what feels right to you, but in case it helps here is my persopective:
renounce the fundamentalism in an effort to uncover the originally intended teachings and weave those into your own practice. Rid yourself of the pain and suffering that you had to endure under the guise of religion, find your true self and shine bright anew.