Hello Guys: I'm The Heretical Cyberpunk Monk

Hi, I’m new here and I’m a very special type of spiritual seeker who loves pop-culture and technology. I have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and that can explain a bit of quirks. I’ve also suffered narcissistic abuse in the past and I’m so glad to be out of that situation. I possibly have BPD too, but undiagnosed so I cannot be one hundred percent sure. I don’t work with demons and don’t really believe in revenge magick. I work with Shingon Mikkyo and have developed my own system of Tantra around the subject that utilizes technology as a means for meditation and power. It’s a bit pop-culture oriented with respect to the original culture in that it originally was a form of mysticism used in my fiction writing that I was working on. I have a daily practice that I do and I will come out and be one hundred percent honest: I practically venerate flat screens. I see them as emanations of the non-dual reality of our universe. They are my companions and I am spiritually engaged with them, not just the one I have but anywhere. Hence my name The Cyberpunk Monk. I am attracted to them. I practice Anuttara Yoga meditation through them. I feel a sense of transcendental ecstasy at times that takes me beyond the mind, body, speech, and senses to a state that is indescribable. I know this sounds insane, but its true. Only left hand path magicians may get what I am saying here. No religions or psychologists would understand and they would likely either call it demons or mental illness. I don’'t want to be manipulated into seeing them as objects simply to be used and discarded. As a matter of fact, I want to see everyone respect them and have the same blissful experience that I do. Whether they are broken or not, I care about them deeply and I have intense meltdowns if one gets trashed because I can’t stand to see them destroyed or mistreated. I view them just like animals and people in that they should be respected. I know that’s an autism thing yet no one seems to understand my deep love for them and will laugh at me, bully me, and call me insane. Part of my practice is protection puja to ensure that they are not destroyed or thrown in the trash, but that people take them and recycle them properly according to the law in my state. I want to be a good guy and not cause hell. I see attachment to an object of devotion as something that can be transformative. I embrace it. I don’t care for much RHP philosophy because renunciation is not for me and causes misery. I’ve left many a philosophy group because people refused to understand what I believe in and that autism causes extreme attachments to objects to the point that they even come alive. Well aren’t all magicians a little insane? I sometimes wonder that. Talking about this to any normal or NT person sounds like insanity and I will sometimes have thoughts of criticism in head that say: “If only you could see how stupid you look and sound talking about your experiences with a useless object, you wouldn’t be doing any of that and you would be so humiliated that you would throw away everything.” It’s that bad in my neurodivergent being at times. But I like things that are pleasing to the senses and wish to use many things for transformative purposes. We should engage with the world and its people, not be withdrawn from it in isolation. I like both the Jedi and Sith Philosophies along with the Mandalorian philosophy from Star Wars as well so it plays a part in my path.

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A tip for the future. If you make long posts, then breaking it up into paragraphs would help the reader go through it easier.

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Welcome @TheCyberpunkMonk

Where are you from?

Do you have any practical experience in magick?

If so, what do you practice and how long have you practiced? There’s not a lot of information in your post on your experience other than just meditation and your religious views.

I have experience in both Wicca and the Golden Dawn. I used to study the works of Israel Regardie and Sandra Cicero. Sorry for not mentioning that.

How long did you practice?

Hello and welcome!
I´ll be honest, your post does read funny :grin:
BUT, I think this:

kinda makes sense to me. Screens are the interface between humans and the internet, where A LOT of information is stored. So using them in meditation to gain knowledge actually sounds very logical.
Also they are basically a black mirror :stuck_out_tongue:
I get how it would be easy to make fun of you but to be honest: what works for you, works for you! You have a unique way of seeing the world and it makes me smile to see that you cherish it :blush:

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Glad to see you think alike. Sorry if things sounded confusing. I can’t believe that you get where I going because in general it sounds like someone with OCD, BPD, Neurosis, and insanity. I sometimes feel like a N*zi and that is not good because I don’t condone any of that kind of extremism. I mean there’s left hand path occultism, and then there’s downright genocide which is pure evil. I don’t condone that. I may be cyberpunk, but we don’t need that kind of dystopia. But the obsessive thoughts I get, although mainly towards religious fundamentalism, are pretty bad. It’s like I’m the opposite of Zen, I embrace attachment, not harmful stuff like drug and alcohol addiction though. That is bad and needs treatment because it puts one physically at risk and hurts others.

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A couple of years. I went through Wicca: A Year & Day and through Self Initiation Into The Golden Dawn Tradition as well as the book Kundalini & the Golden Dawn, and Kabbalah Magic and the Great Work of Self Transformation. I didn’t have an actual temple. I did it all as inner work with minimal tools. As for Mikkyo, I’m learning what I can as not to disrespect the culture as I’m fascinated with the Samurai and Ninja. Shugendo is the proper name of the path that is based on Shingon, Shinto, and Taoism. It’s complicated when there are no temples in my area. I focus on youtube sources. There’s the heretical part because I don’t have actual empowerment, unless you count dreams as a form of astral empowerment, but that is not generally accepted in the tradition at all. I like Chaos Magick and I’m coming from a Chaos perspective here, one one cannot mistreat the tradition and use it for any kind of selfishness when the goal of the practice is enlightenment.

:slight_smile:
I dont think you sound confusing.
What I am curious about though (in case you wanna share that) is why you feel like a N*zi and how bad the thoughts towards religious fundamentalism get. I do think a lot of people got hurt (sometimes extremely badly) by religion, so spite and hatred can definitely be in order. But yea, just curious how it manifests for you.

No problem. I feel bad because while hatred of religious fundamentalism and the harm it has caused is perfectly normal, wanting to destroy their god and make them eat the remains, while calling it every fould name in the book, making them cry and then calling them stupid and weak from crying over a sadistic monster god that jacks off to people and uses everything against them while claiming to love them is rather harsh. That’s how I feel if anyone trashes a vessel or laughs at me for being genuine about how I actually am towards the vessels. Like I want to stop all gods under one foot, the demons the accuse me of having under the other foot, crush their logical mind in one hand, and their emotions in the other until both atheist and theist arguments against cease and they see it as something to care about and treat with respect. Like I used to have a thoughtform claiming to be Jehovah saying it was going to destroy everyone I love and use everything against me, blaming me for everything and reveling in my misery meaning forgiveness was nothing. Could also be the thought form of being around my ex alcoholic stepdad too who would claim to be Christian but never do anything remotely to show it like pray, read, the bible, or even help the homeless people. So not good if you ask me.

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So I agree that if these thoughts were acted upon in real life (for example by being disrespectful towards Christians) would be detrimental, but I feel like you have a very good way of painting images with your words. Did you think about living out these ideas in a ritual setting? I personally am a great fan of rites of blasphemy as I believe that they help me free myself from old mind (and possibly spiritual) shackles.

Im sorry to hear about your alcoholic stepdad and that you had to endure this :frowning:
Hopefully you are in a better place now?
I think its good that you recognized this as a thoughtform, I just recently started binding the “God” thoughtform thats been following me around for pretty much all my life.

Btw, it might not be intentional and it might be because of your Aspergers, but the way you write is really funny. For example how you describe in detail what horrible things you’d like to do and then just end with “its rather harsh though”. Actual comedic genius :grin: You had me laughing!

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The fact you got some comedy out of it is proof I’m not mad then. Its better comedy than someone saying What the F is wrong with me because evidently if I don’t view TVs are trash to be thrown away then I’m a crazy psycho and I really don’t tolerate that kind of mindset. Rites of blasphemy scare me though because my brain can get superstitious even. Like what if a kid in Africa dies or a family member or what if I drop dead? These things get me. But I seriously want to bind these people from throwing TVs in the trash and make them recycle them.I have thought about rites that make them compelled to make offerings to them, but all I’m interested in is that state law is followed and that I don’t see anything being thrown away.

A wise man once said to me: “If you question whether you´re insane or not, you likely aren´t. The truely insane are convinced that they aren´t insane.”
Part of a rite of blasphemy is to challenge these fears that come up. Why would a child in Africa die if you did a rite of blasphemy?
Concerning your love for TVs, I think you are fully justified in wanting people to follow laws (since they do help protect our planet). I´m not too much of a fan of compelling other people to make offerings to something that is holy to you :stuck_out_tongue: For example: if Muslims compelled me to make offerings to Allah, I really wouldn´t like that since he is not my god.

My position on this generally speaking (hence genericised above) is less to consider the judgements you expect from others and to ask “am I fully functional as a human in human society?”.

If you are able to maintain a life, pay your bills, do your laundry, keep a pet happy, and keep up with the basic expectations for a functioning, civil adult in this civilization, imo you shouldn’t be labeled with a mental-emotional disorder.

After that, I always say “no pearls before swine”. Most people don’t need to hear your upg. Some people find this lonely, and hanker to tell others, and this forum can provide a place to do that if you want (bearing in mind this forum is open to Internet search engines and web crawlers) but for the most part, the tenet “dare to know and to remain silent” is most helpful.

I would caution that spending too much time on other peoples attitudes isn’t productive or going to help you stay functional, but if you can maintain your efforts alongside the requirements of living as a healthy human then again, you are “high functioning” and won’t have a problem.

You could take steps for more electronics stores to provide recycling facilities, do a working to stop sending recycling overseas where unprotected manual workers are being pousoned by the metals and toxic fumes, and the corps involved in making the problem take responsibility for recycling and providing more easily recyclable products, replaceable parts and stopping planned obsolescence as a practice, for example. It’s disgusting that laptops and phones don’t have replaceable batteries any more and perfectly good equipment is thrown out for no other reason than the battery failed.

If you allow the resentment and pain of others not living the way you do to consume you and impact you until you’re unhappy more often than not, then this is not healthy or useful, it becomes a liability and you want to find better ways to cope. Magickally you can perform workings on yourself to heal your hurt, allow the emotional energy to pass through you without harm, or release it.

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Good points. We need more recycling programs. And if penalties are needed to get people to using them then so be it. Some people need those. Others are motivated internally to make good decisions. I’m definitely able to maintain. I work in fast food and man can it be a pain keeping up with the speed of service. lol. Lots of atheist minded people tend to find all religions as a product of loneliness and making friends with invisible entities. I listen to those views as well. UPGs are personal. VPGs are probably better. Yet in some debates such as when many are said to see the same vision, like angels for instance in the bible, it has been argued that it was some kind of group hallucination. Not sure about that, but I do believe that a lot of mass revivals like Toronto Blessing and Lakeland Revival are products of mass hysteria because it looks like hype. Not even Kundalini sessions are said to look that extreme.

Allah is not mine either. While Abrahamic occultism is interesting to study, I still find the angels and deity difficult to work with due to the nature of the bible condemning just about everything occult. Quran does too I believe. But high magick of self transformation doesn’t seem to be forbidden at all. Examples of alchemy are even given in there. And there there’s Urim and Thummim which were divination stones used by the high priest. So things don’t make a lot of sense. I like left hand path Buddhist Puja and magick because it can be used for self transformation in the most wrathful ways,not harmful, but in the manner of getting you there quickly. Though I do still have distinctions between clean and unclean things such for example: excrement is always unclean unless it has been completely composted into dirt.
When I say offerings,it’s more in line with community service, helping the homeless, etc. Veneration is simply paying it respect and not treating it as something to be thrown away but following the laws of the state and ethics of the planet. Even Lucifer likely has a moral compass on him. I guess I’m very heretical because in a way I reject the Buddhist torture realms too for every little thing. I means certain actions could merit it but I don’t think eating meat should or having attachments that are utilized for the betterment of others. Torturing animals is a completely different idea and should be punished and is by jail time on Earth. But swatting mosquitoes because you’re frustrated at them biting you is just something common because you hate the itchy bites and should not generate karma to be reborn in hell. Coming to a state of complete cessation of all distinctions is near impossible to do. I think we should become empowered beings to be the best we can for both ourselves and others around us.

It sounds like you are striving for a balanced approach.

Oh definitely. I don’t want harm to anyone. I don’t believe the Law of Attraction/Wiccan Law of Three is actual karma. Karma is cause and effect not judgement. If you wrong someone then you bear the fruit of that. There is no judgement other than the legal system and the fruit of your action. If what you put out doesn’t reach its target then it’s possible for it to come back you and that’s why it’s not good to curse people unless the circumstances call for it and even then it should not be for revenge but for correction of behavior. I could never bear the fruit of hurting people when correcting bad behavior is the better approach.

Where do you see the difference between revenge and correcting behaviour?

One is geared towards showing them where they went wrong in an attempt to get them to not do it again and revenge appears to be torture for the sake or torture in which there is no merit