I don’t have any sage. Any other ideas? I also just feel energetically stuffy. I tried to use some cleansing energy from the sephiroth tree, and that sort of work but I think it worked for something else oh, and I tried banishing whatever it was but I don’t think I can do that
Take a hot bath, pamper yourself, and relax, be gentle on yourself
Alright, I will! Thank you.
1 Like
Sorry to beat a dead horse, but I wanted to say it. I went to go visit him again and he voiced to me there, since he was feeling a little down, that he really wanted to approach me but honestly he just didn’t want all of the drama. He almost felt like it wasn’t worth it.
with some talking, I basically told him that I forgave him entirely for everything, and we could deal with this like mature people. He seemed to be agreeing.
It felt very… Organic. Real. I feel better.
Hope lives
You can naturally get your energy flowing and purify it through qi gong. Zhan Zhuang is a style that there is a lot of information on that I use and incorporate as part of my practice (among other things). Its a practice that builds on itself day by day, like rolling a snowball in the snow to build a snowman. There are tons of books. A couple that I like is The Way of Energy by Master Lam Kam Chuen, and then if you want to go deeper Inside Zhan Zhaung by Mark Cohen is a good one. That one goes IN DEPTH, to like acupuncture specific points on the energy body. You’ll need external references to make sense of it because the book does not have diagrams like Master Lam Kam Chuen, but the Mark Cohen one does have better pictures of the poses in various postures and degrees of difficulty, it just expects that you have acupuncture reference charts is all to map the energy body.
1 Like
I missed laying on his shoulder. So I went, and I did. We talked for a bit. He just said that he didn’t like what he did, but he wholeheartedly believed he had to do it at the time, and he had no other choice. I believe him.
I think I know crap has happened in my life to me, so much bull,that I can believe this is real. I believe I’m not being tricked. And maybe I’m hearing it wrong, but I clarify every now and then so I’m on the same track as him.
I don’t actually think there’s anything I can do at this point. I just occasionally feel bad. The general issue makes me kind of… Remorseful. This could have gone so much better for us. And maybe it will
Good news! There is no bad news
1 Like
I just need to mentally prepare for the day. I feel pain. Like I said, the new deadline is Wednesday, so I won’t freak out until then. But besides that, I sort of worried about what Sam is thinking of me. Maybe he just doesn’t want anything to do with me. It supposed his fear consciousness has claimed otherwise, but still. I’m doubting it much less than I did before
Well said, my Sister.
Love and Respect
Diogenes
1 Like
I had. The most trippy experience dreamwise of my life.
Just now.
I was sitting, so realistically, next to Sam in choir. I felt like he was probably going to ignore me, so I leaned in to look at what he was reading, he was trying to pronounce a word. I heard his voice, so clearly. I forgot what he said, but he was talking about not understanding what it was saying, and I HEARD him. In my ear. This was a shallow dream, everyone. He talked to me for a little bit, and I almost was confused if he was just talking to space. Then he leaned in to me to point out a word on his sheet music.
I didn’t know what to say. I felt like this was my chance.
“Do you feel my love for you?” I asked, trying to somehow make him feel it.
He giggles, announces like a proclamation, “I adore you, Max!” (Or “he adores you”.) The info I got from this is that love? Love wasn’t even in the question of things. He was trying to let me know that. Of course he loved me, that was never an issue.
I just sort of sat there, silently, then saying
“Well then why is this issue happening?”
It feels the most real now. The world around me dissapears and I’m looking at this green sphere. It stars to fractal in a strange way. The last word he said before I woke up was, “well” or “Michelle” oe something.
Pieces of this dream are disappearing before my eyes. But it was probably the most real dream I’ve ever had, and it was teetering on being awake and asleep. For some reason, a friend I have named Alyssa was at the beginning of the dream, and she talked to Sam for a bit.
I don’t want to say this is prophetic as some sort of… Wishful thinking. But I almost feel like it was something. Something. What do you guys think?
The reason the pacing look so terrible is because I forgot what was in between
School is canceled
I’ve been very busy. Got some important healing done, and I need to keep doing it, but Amon is satisfied with it for now, says I can approach Sam’s side of the issue now, or rather that he’ll do it and he’ll put everything he’s got into it.
For now, I still need to find something in myself.
Let me clarify, I followed his every instruction with traveling to inner worlds and crap, and I did a ton that I haven’t documented.
After what we talked about yesterday, you really think you have healed yourself in less than one day?
1 Like
It’s complicated. It’s also not done. But I did a lot. Of. Weird things.
And I feel they’ve worked. And Amon has given me multiple thumbs up. He’s pretty much told me that all that I can do from this point is keep living and roll with the punches, and that he’ll talk to me about it later.
In short, I skipped out on multiple hours of crap I needed to do to lay on a floor and dig through my psyche.
1 Like
You’ve made a good start, keep working and don’t be too impatient. 
I’m going to ask Amon if there’s really anything else to do at this point, and go talk to spirit Sam.
Thing is, I was a little worn down by the time we got done with the healing process, but Amon told me something really weird.
A, you can develop twin flame-hood and I don’t understand why
B, Sam and I have weirdly developed that.
Do I think I’m falling back into wishful thinking? Honestly, no. Because I tried to make this happen. And I don’t remember when, and I’m sort of regretful but at this point I am happy it’s the case. He said something about the feelings twin flames have for each other sort of carrying over throughout lifetimes, and when I tried to look for “what was underneath” I saw this strange other world, very fantastical and odd, where I was a different person and Sam was a different person, but we still were together.
I asked him if this was a vision into another dimension or something weird like that. He said no. I asked him if my brain just made it up or I was fooling myself. And though I knew I was communicating correctly, he still said no. Then he explained this to me. Time weirdly folds on itself. Now I don’t think this was an actual vision into a life we had, more like an explanation, and something to point me in the right direction. In Amons words, right now:
“It’s less of an explanation or another piece of time, more like another layer to the world we live in now. Your hands join together in many different pieces and parts of your beings, and this is one of the instances. They carry over, throughout every instances, and you feel it. My proof is simple, you see it yourself. It’s not too hard to feel, and you’ve heard reciprocation of the feeling from one of Sam’s parts. I think you can understand this. I hope you’ll be able to understand the deeper meanings of this powerful connection you’ve forged one day.”
I don’t know what the hell happened, but I don’t think that my mind twisted that.