I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF DOING THIS! WHEN WILL THE CYCLE FUCKING END!?!
For the love of GOD!
Disclaimer- I am a student of the Tarot too. Not a professional xD
Past- Four of Cups- Water- Looking and reflecting on the past is critical to just getting through the shit. The Four of Cups is a card of not distraction, but simple introspection. Its a card of retreat, to gather yourself and your energies so that you can move forward.
Present- Six of Swords- Air- This is a transition from one stage to the next. You are a traveler in life, and as you go about your journey you need to reflect on all the swords that you brought with you. The swords are the baggage that you carry with you. Its a card of release and possibility, of transmutation and change. You can see from the past being influenced by Water, the deep knee-jerk reaction, to a time of air. The waters have had plenty of time to settle, and instead of an open wound you are now nursing the scars of your past and carrying them with you, your swords. The Water has changed to Air, which, while still a mental attribute, it is more precise and logical. It represents a time to take take emotion out of the equation, I think, and look at things objectively.
Future- Judgement- Judgement is a unique card I think, as part of the major arcana there are widespread definitions on it which all draw on a line of ‘you gotta face reality’. However, that is just the common interpretation. Judgement usually comes before a major turning point in your life. It is how one reacts to it that defines the road ahead. The Four of Cups and Six of Swords have been on your side, preparing you for this Judgement. With the work you have been doing with the Four and Six, you will be able to see the situation clear enough to absolve yourself from it. It is a card of ultimate realization, the reaching of the tipping point, and beyond. Its a card of endings, so that the situation can be released and peace can come.
All the cards, in my point of view, deal with the processing of emotions. If you look at the cards, they seem to mirror some of the sages of grief: the knee jerk emotional reaction, the taking time to cool down your head, and finally moving on.
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Thank you very much!!
But, how do I face reality if I don’t know what’s real? Perhaps it’s telling me not to face the reality of the outcome, but the reality of the emotions? That I do know.
I also took time to tend to my chakras. It has come my my attention that my crown was BLOCKED. I fixed that, and lo and behold, Tul tells me the deal was actually made and “Yes, you are hearing me correctly. No, this isn’t wishful thinking.”
It’s a lot smoother than before.
With my less blocked crown I asked her, Gabrielle, what was up with the judgement day event a while back.
Turns out, they genuinely have no idea what went wrong. An archangel. Doesn’t know. So yeah, that’s good to know. Like, I asked her if I was misunderstanding her. Nope.
The reading is centered around your emotional-mental state. It seems to me its more of a coming to terms so that you can move on.
Basically what I got at first glance with the cards, before trying to expand and explain what is going through my mind more in depth, is that right now your present is being associated with Air. Air is a mental aspect as well, but not as emotional as water. I look at the elements of the cards firstly so I can see if there is a transition or an element dominating the reading the general. Then I pull attributes from the dominating element to get a better understanding of what the cards are trying to say…
So in this situation you are going from Water --> to Air. From Air —> to Judgement.
This is a good sign. I think its a hint that if you view things logically, critically and step away from the emotions of things you can draw a conclusion to the events? And be content with the swords you are carrying with you.
IDK 
What I do know is that the situation seems to be going in a good direction.
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You’re a good friend to me. Thank you.
I just wanna see if I’m seeing the truth. In all honestly, I probably am. I guess I’ll try to look at it less emotionally.
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Broke up with Majima :((
Jokes aside, I just wanna change my PFP from a crazy yakuza in a snakeskin jacket.
I’m feeling a little pain. Not a ton, but a little. I’m in the same room with sam, and he’s still ignoring me as usual, but I wouldn’t expect much else.
It’s too bad I can’t see too many connections, physical correspondance with my work, yet, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give up.
Painful, but not as painful. Good.
Feeling very depressed. I just wanna go home and sleep. I don’t even feel hurt anymore, even when I look at him.
Having a hard time speaking to people. I don’t have anything to say, I’m not my energetic self.
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It’s possible that the cards and entities keep telling you you’ll get with Sam because the undeniable power of time’s passing and life changes will cause you to not care about him anymore, thus without emotional ties there is ease for him to slip back in. Even if ‘slipping him back in’ will give little benefit and the connection is no longer satisfying or what you need.
It sucks to say. But maybe he’ll only be an option when you no longer desire him. And then what the two of you have may not even be worth it.
Since desire is an obstacle to the emotionless ease of manifesting what we want.
You may never be able to get Sam in the way you want (i.e. Sam + all the loving fulfillment), you may only be able to get Sam (just an everyday person + nothing more). You can ask Gabrielle and those others if this is the case. Or ask them if it will take years, or whether you should work to let go of him to get the ‘success’ they promise. Maybe the only truly sad thing is that you must overcome this hurdle of no longer desiring him or anything.
The reason why spirit helpers or our faith seems incredible inadequate in times of need or even like they are lying or decieving us is because even if well-intentioned, spirits like them don’t understand the human experience. So you’re not feeling understood.
And as for the sadness of life and its suffering - seeing as we LHP practitioners know that suffering is pointless since we don’t believe we need karma - I wonder if the only reason we might suffer is so we can cause others to suffer the same way. Like it’s a strength from memory our soul acquires. Sounds sadistic, but maybe that is the reason.
I have no care for making people suffer. I ask them, so clearly, if they mean it exactly in the way I say. I ask when, they say weeks.
Also, I made deals with spirits. It is going to be done.
God, so much obsession with torture. You curse people out of spite, and it doesn’t help you at all.
You may actually care about making people suffer.
On Earth, morality is interwoven into how we are brought up and raised.
But outside of Earth where we can’t so easily be decieved the truths are easier. Like that power is all there is.
So the ability to hurt could be a power. And it will be in your arsenol. Plenty demons enjoy sadism because it’s in their freedom to do so.
Bullshit, don’t decide what I like. Humanity is a part of who I am, I don’t care where it came from. You know what you gain out of making people suffer? Pleasure and enemies. Damnit, the world would be so much fucking better if people like you didn’t exist.
The planet is dying, we’re all at each other’s throats. Not enough people stop to think that maybe there’s more to gain?
Why would you waste your time with that besides sadism? There’s nothing to gain! Nothing. But I’m not saying I’m objectively right, but you’re a fool for insinuating for a second that somehow you are ineffable in your workings.
I think we can both agree that everything will look very different outside of this life.
I have a theory that if you gave up some of your limiting beliefs it could help you to step out of a victim suffering mentality. It’s not about being sadistic per se, but limitless. So you can expand and grow and overcome.
I personally hurt bad people who have caused me significant trouble or harm.
And I actually feel that I’ve gained a lot through cursing. On the dark path, some walk darker paths than others. I wouldn’t say mine is too dark. Through cursing and enacting justice - cause true justice is what we decide, in acting as gods - I found my peace, stability and control over this life and my life.
Justice is just as much of a construct as humanity, limiting has nothing to do with it. I just don’t do it cause I don’t wanna.