11-8-21
I started contemplating making a pact with Lucifer, so I watched a few videos on how people go about that, but ultimately decided that if I was going to make a pact with any demons, I wanted to evoke them until I felt their presence more clearly and spend time with them to build a friendly foundation first.
Once home, I burned a stick of frankincense incense as an offering to Lucifer and spent a little time praying (?) while holding my bloodstone pendulum that I’ve been using to communicate with him. I confided in him that I didn’t feel “good enough” to be summoning him, which caused me to get emotional (even now as I reflect on that!), so I took a break and did my usual Monday-night Twitch stream.
I do not remember any dreams from last night, although this might be affected by the fact I had Kratom before going to sleep, which I was feeling the effects of. I feel if I want to be doing dream work, I should be refraining from any substances that alter your mind too much.
Right now, I am struggling with internal doubts that I’m truly communing with Lucifer at all. I’m just trying to almost “fake it till I make it,” but I’m doing the research and trying out many different things to try and get that connection to feel “real.”
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
11-9-21
This morning, I read aloud this Litany of Lucifer, although nothing much happened and I actually don’t think I did it properly. The post doesn’t mention anything about Lucifer’s sigil, but in the comments, it is discussed that the sigil should be “opened” and then have blood placed on it. I think I failed to “open” the sigil.
Anyway, what I did was I had the sigil on a piece of paper and I did place blood on it (I am very squeamish, so I didn’t break any skin, however I have the distinct advantage of being a woman during her monthly woe >:D ). Then I lit some incense and laid the paper on my bed before I knelt beside it while facing the East (I felt kneeling would show I was humbling myself). I read the Litany off my phone in a whisper, as I live with my mother and didn’t wish to disturb her).
I think the crucial step I missed was opening the sigil, which if what I have previously read is correct, would involve me chanting Lucifer’s enn over and over while gazing at the sigil until it appears to “disappear” from the paper. But I will do more research and take notes to be sure! I intend to try again tonight with all the proper steps, although I might have to resort to pricking my finger tonight, which I am NOT looking forward to