I have been involved in all of this for a year. Some things have improved, but others have crumbled. I have lost all my friends, and the people around me don’t seem to resonate with me anymore. I have gained a lot of knowledge, but I can’t discuss all of these things with people, except for one person. I talk about these things with him, but he tells me I am practicing evil things. I have tried to find a group in real life, but none of them exist.
Anyone relate to this
I am considering choosing a solo practitioner style.
Best fucking thing in my experience so far, I will never step back from this choice.
As much as I understand your need for a physical group to share your experiences with, to get validation from or to discover stuff together: such a group has the same group dynamic flaws like every non-magical hobby or leisure time group. But with magic. I haven’t experienced quite the amount of confirmation bias with any other group dynamics than inside a group of practicioners and it can be echo chambering at worst-best, “burn the witch” at worst-worst.
Be aware that some practicioners aren’t able to accept that something bad in their life can have completely mundane causes out of their scope of control (or inside their scope of control but they refuse to acknowledge this). No, it MUST be something magical. And it is not uncommon that they start to search for a culprit for their latest grievances. As soon as anyone knows that you are dealing with XYZ kind of magical practices and their misfortune just vaguely relates to what you are doing its spanish inquisition time. There is no “codex of honor” or anything just because a group consists of practicioners, they are human beings and they will act as such. But with magic.
Consider this when you are actively pushing for a physical group of people that might know your name, your face, your working place, your home, your family and friends. Sometimes its for the better to be silent (which is a natural part of this path anyway).
What I have learned from the solo practicioner path: I enjoy non-practicing people much more and I have been led to an absolute great “tribe” of people through my practice that checks off all the boxes for my social needs. I don’t even notice that the magick component is missing, because its not my entire life or what defines me. Maybe you can learn to be more open towards new people in your life, too. As you’ve stated that you have lost all of your friends it could simply be a mismatch of lifestyles or character development. You could find new people that you relate to. If you are not hell-bent about them being practicioners.
Yes. I never did anything different, myself: I wouldn’t even consider it.
Is this a problem, it’s sounds ideal to me? It’s good to know more than the average joe. The way you phrase it makes it sound like it is a problem for you? But why? Your path is personal, between you and the spirits or you and the universe, why does any mundane human hearing it have any value? Their opinion on this subject is worthless.
If you must have social interaction, which I get, get a mundane hobby you can have in common and talk about that with them, go to classes or volunteer at say a wildlife refuge where good people exist. That will be mutually enjoyable and get you your dopamine/serotonin interaction fix.
I tried to talk with my brother or sister about it but they get scared. So I am in a similar situation, I wish I could meet a fellow occultist in real life.
I thought that it was just my ego. I want people to know that I’m better than them. I know this world more than them. I don’t have that problem when I start practicing magic, but after a year, it comes from nowhere. I read somewhere that Israel Regardie said that I have ego inflammation
For me I didn’t experience a sense of alienation as a result of these pursuits per se. But I did have a sense of difference. I don’t mean lie hurhur I am the betterz. Its more like just knowing that I have to be careful to keep my practices secret. So I guess I feel more a small sense of wariness rather than alienation
Reading this, I think it’s something of a universal experience; what you’d just described, to a good extent. I mean, it even sounded just like the essence of Plato’s cave, in so many words, to be fair. In a certain way, you’re also finding yourself back in the so-called cave of society with all the people going on about “shadows”, and meanwhile, you’ve gained wisdom of the true light. But despite this, you feel unable to express your truth to anyone but those few who’ve been there, too. It can be painfully hard to find them, as you’ve found in terms of judgment and backlash.
As for not finding a group yet, in relation: they’re definitely out there. But the thing is, even groups more prepared and careful than the OAA have fallen, too, for what were only human reasons in the end. In my own group of sorts to which I belong, Temple of THEM; we’d had a schism which fell just short of civil war at one point, in one iteration. This, despite not having had any hierarchy, or any kind of structure beyond a loose collaboration of adepts sharing a synergy of ideas, backgrounds and experiences. Silent alliances along with divides, politics, favoritism, and other issues seemingly always find ways to appear. I guess what I’m saying is, groups can become as much a hinderance as a boon to your progress in those, and in many other sneaky ways which provide limitation. You may never find a group in which you feel fully at home, like myself. More importantly, despite that, everything you need to initiate yourself is already out there. And thanks in no small part to the internet, this is true for more and more people every day.
No, I have never felt loneliness or a sense of alienation as a result of my occult practices. However, I have experienced such in my mundane life as a result of being a high IQ type. Academic and intellectual pursuits have always come easily to me, and it has at times set me apart from those around me.
But here’s something else i’ve found that’s actually very surprising:
When you become a magician, you can only build real friendships based on your worldly accomplishments.
The way to build a new social circle as a magician is to achieve great things in life.
When you do this, you find some very prominent people pop up on your timeline, treating you as an equal. In conversation, they’ll openly admit to having occult practices.
It’s not that you’re isolated, it’s that this practice sets you aside from the 85% of deaf/dumbs. You now have to become part of another group that lives a different way. Whether that group ends up being the 1% of accomplished people of the world or the 19% of troublemakers and busybodies that infest ordinary society and occult communities is up to you and the choices you make.
Sorry to hear about loosing the people in your life. We can all relate to this.
If Your feeling of loneliness is becoming a stumbling block it may be a result of Spiritual metamorphosis…You may need to take steps
However, it’s part of the journey and remember that you came to this path to become something different and if you haven’t had an Ego Death yet, you’re probably due for one.
And there are benefits of being a “Ninja sorcerer” mainly being that there’s nobody fukn up the energy that you’re putting in spell work. lol
As long as you are getting tangible results and not stuck in the echo chamber of your mind. That is THE worst form of alienation no matter the path- to have all these amazing purely mental “insights” that don’t go beyond talking to yourself. Validate and verify all knowledge. I am pretty cerebral myself, but the key is to see if it corresponds to something in the world outside you. If it does, you’re on the right track.