Hello Everyone. My Name is Eric. I am lost, broken, hurt, confused, and distressed in this so called life. Quite recently, it has gotten worse. However, for a majority of my life i’ve felt this way; especially due to having be diagnosed with Depression, Bi-polar Disorder, ADD, and Anxiety. I’ve also have fallen to the “Opioid Epidemic,” and have been battling the addiction everyday for about the past year or so. I recently have been praying to Lucifer and asking for guidance and help. I wish “asking” was an understatement. Crying my eyes out and begging for help. Begging for guidance as for i can no longer live the way I have been. I’m only 22 years old, and I’ve lost so very much of myself and the few people that were a part of my life. If anyone could help me in any way I would be FOREVER thankful, as tears of mysterious emotions run down my face. Where to start, where to go, who to go to, and what to read/learn. Just and entirety of getting me started as for i firmly believe this is where i was guided to be. you may not know it but you are saving another person. a person you have no idea what could achieve. Thank you all very much for taking your time to read this.
Hey man, I feel you a couple years ago I found myself on the verge of suicide and almost went insane in the process.
Do you know how to meditate? The first meditation I learned (was in the suicide prevention ward btw) involves a golden light entering your body and black energy leaving it.
I want you to sit down somewhere you will not he disturbed and breath deeply in and while you breathe in imagine a golden light entering your body and having it envelop your body.
And when you breath out let it all out as slowly as you can imagine a black negative energy leaving your body if you keep this up for a few days you will surely start to feel better
Hey Eric, welcome to the forum. Keep it up man, the situation may be bad but it’s not as bad as you think it is.
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The parrallel between us are nothing to be over looked.
Im ADHD not ADD and 18. But ive got all the same stuff as you, dont worry about all that. Theyre just labels the laymen use instead of addressing spiritual problems. Get a routine going with some meditation and self love. If you are depressed you NEED to be working out it just too good for you and your brain and body not to.
Heres a powerful video. This guy is awesome and has some great advice as a psychology professor.
Bought his self authoring program and i highly reccommend it if you dont have any idea how to plan out your life. I also reccommend taking 2 personality tests the big 5 and the myers briggs one. For additional help you can always get a take a counseling class, therapist, see your councselor at school. Ask for help on here. And ask for help from deities.
Best of luck mate we’re cheering for you! 
I was about to suggest reading 12 rules for life 
I have it on hold at my library ITS BEEN WEEKS
I rarely buy books but I bought the finnish translation of this one. The library queue for this book was insane as well. Highly recommended read.
Hi, yeah man it sounds like a classic case of " the dark night of the soul" . For me it was realizing just how meaningless life really is. I never developed the drug problem, but if I didn’t have people depending on me I would have considered suicide as an out. Many people who practise silencing the mind come into this dark spot. It just like lucid dreaming, you first become aware that what you are perceiving isn’t real, than you focus your attention and shift the dream" magick" or wake up " enlightenment" . The physical world is just a dream , it’s ok that it is meaningless. Anyway hope I’ve helped, and good luck
Hey man, nice to meet you! Like many have said above meditation is a great first step, not to mention a great way to clear your mind and feel good.
Depression is a serious issue and effects many of us, i had considered suicide as an option for a while. Through a lot of self reflection in nature and honestly through taking mushrooms in nature and other hallucinogens in relation to my body and feelings I was able to see things more clearly about myself and how alot of the negatives I had about myself were an illusion to hide what things made me happy as a person. Now I’m not “advocating” the use of those substances, everybody’s biology and chemical make up is different and no two people have the same experiences when consuming such substances, but they do help with clarity of being.
Self reflection and healing takes time and alot of it is some deep digging especially on stuff that we as people push to the back of our minds or negative events and emotions that we attach to who we think we are. At the same point in time its okay to understand and embrace a sadness in order to achieve a healthier and happier feeling over all, cry when you need to cry and smile when you need to smile. If you ever want help friend just ask! Also again, meditation, healthy self reflections, and get some time in nature.
Hi there. It may not be much, but if you need a friend to talk to, I can be that friend. I can’t say i’ve gone through the same thing you did, but I know what it’s like to comtemplate suicide, and I feel lucky I no longer have those thoughts although life still makes me feel exhausted from time to time. I was at once point very hopeless and broken and since mental check ups are very stigmatized in my culture I never got any professional help, but I got through it thanks to friends. So I think just talking about it could help you already.
If you cant direct message yet and want to talk just tell me i’d message you
I have struggled with addiction too and opioid withdrawal is no joke - definitely seek help. You cant progress spiritually, at least significantly, bogged down with addiction. I suggest your first step, as much as you might not want to hear it, being NA and connecting with people locally who can help you in that aspect.