Hello, I saw a similar thread to this one before, but it didn’t fit my case well. So I am making this one.
The thing is I have got experiences with an incubus since I was like 14.
during this years I haven’t build up a relationship to this incubus, I did not call for him, at least consciously. He just came to me.
Now the thing is he comes and goes, as I am not often inclined to do anything with him, and most of the time we just don’t connect.
The thing is, lately he is visiting me quite often, and even if I enjoy somehow the experience, after it is all over I get some terrible dreams, quite nasty dreams.
I tend to think this is somehow connected, and that he might be taking some kind of revenge through the dreams. To be quite honest, I have to confess I like having sex with men mostly pretending they are women, my best sexual experiences have been with guys who likes to play a girl role (100% bottoms who don’t even use their penis and who pretend they have a vagina). the thing is when I like a guy and he is a bottom but he is masculine on bed, I tend to be a real bastard, in a way all the pleasure I cannot get from them, I get it by acting like a total bastard (using them, beating them, degrading them, humiliating them, etc in the worse ways) the strange thing is that every guy I have treated this way, seems to love it.
I am not like this when a guy acts like a girl, I am quite less hardcore to them, and I enjoy it more.
So the thing is, this incubus often appears to me like a butch guy, and during the experience I treat him quite nasty as I would do with any other masculine guy. So in a way I am suspecting he does not like how far I go with him and I tend to think he is somehow manipulating my dreams, to get revenge.
The other idea that crosses to my mind, is that he is trying to make me feel like I made him feel, but this is all wrong, cause maybe he does not enjoy it, but all the guys I have had sex with in this way, afterwards loves it, so if he does not enjoy it why is he staying and seducing me over and over?
I understand he might not like to appear to me like a feminine guy who acts like a girl. but then he could just go then. and he is the one who starts the seduction, I do not even call him.
So if he were to teach me al lesson, I think he is out of focus.
Also, I have decided to start fighting against his seductions. but really I would be more happy if I could just get rid of him. and after all I don’t need him. or want him, I can be more pleased with a girly guy rather than him.
so the question is: how can I get rid of him for good?
PD: sorry to be this honest but I think it was necessary.