I haven’t been doing any left hand path practices. The last time I did anything was several long months ago when I planned on doing a ritual to Na’amah. I got off from work, ran home, set up the altar, and bolted to a party. I thought I could get the emotional fuel (sexual lust) to work the ritual. However, I had a terrible encounter that soured my mood entirely. I did the ritual, but only because I planned it.
Since that night, I didn’t really do anything on the darker paths. I consider lhp magick complex, and so I’m under the impression it’s on the advanced side. When I did the Na’amah ritual, I didn’t feel ready. Plus, I experienced a moment of fear that I call “spookiness.” Going by the logic I find on this sight, “spookiness” is the spirit testing you. Still, I did not feel like I passed. So I decided to keep to the lighter stuff for until I’m ready.
My main go to book is Practical Candle Burning Magick by Raymond Buckland. It’s easy to follow, but it hasn’t been successful. I’ve been prepping for work with planetary magick. It seems complex but I’m able to follow along. I still consider planetary magick “celestial” magick, in that you’re dealing with the powers that shape and govern creation, as opposed to infernal powers which destroy and rebirth.
The issue I have is that this is still kind of close to Yahweh. Last night, I performed the “Pyramid of Jupiter” and had to chant Yahweh’s name. It was embarrassing. I’m worried I’m moving away from the left hand path, but I’m not yet ready to go back to it’s practices. I still follow the philosophy. Above all, I’m worried if by calling upon the forces of light, they’ll move me down a path I don’t like. A normal and dull path.
Is this direction of starting with lighter stuff and moving to the darker stuff later a good idea? Should I be worried of being led down a path of normalcy? Or am I just being paranoid? Am I able to work with celestial and infernal forces? What is the best way to perform left hand path practices?