This is my journal to record my experiences and experiments in magick and the occult.
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Note: Any servitor I post about here will have it in their program to only answer to me, unless I state otherwise.
If I ever share a servitor for public use, it will be one I’ve extensively tested myself first.
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I made my first money servitor at the beginning of this May. Here he is:
My concept behind him is that he finds any money around me and then brings it to me. I don’t necessarily expect a big chunk of money but rather just little amounts here and there that I might have missed out on otherwise.
Some things that happened after I created him were: I received couple hundred dollars from the IRS in my bank account (I’m still not sure what this was about because I got my tax return awhile back… so somehow they found they owed me more?) and I won team member of the month at work which gave me a gift card.
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Recently I noticed Chipotle hasn’t been charging me for double steak but just regular. It’s a small thing due to miscommunication but it adds up over time. I also found money that I had lost a while ago and completely forgot about.
I would say this servitor’s influence is subtle but it’s there.
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I recently finished crossing the Abyss on my Qliphoth journey. For me it felt like Thagirion and the Abyss were deeply connected. For so long I had been driven by how other people saw me in order to feel « safe » so much so I couldn’t see my true self underneath all the masks I had created. When I would interact with entities I would take on their energy so much I would lose myself. A lot of that was because I was brought up Christian (you’re suppose to become like Jesus), so I thought I had to become just like them, believe just like them, and act like them. I was scared having my own thoughts and opinions would mean I would be abandoned. But through my initiation I was finally able to let go of that. I was able to embrace being abandoned in order to find myself. The Abyss then was about surrendering to being abandoned and being at peace with people perceiving me as lesser or an outcast. And I finally got a glimpse of myself. My true self that’s freed from outside influences.
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During my break from magick I have done some reflecting on my growth over the years. And I realized even though I’ve only talked to him a couple times, how much of an influence Samyaza has had on the direction my life has gone.
He showed up about three years ago. I was really frustrated because it was hard time finding a written ritual I could do to call on him. But since it felt like that’s what he wanted me to do I asked for help finding one. That’s when I found the pathworking one V.K. Jehannum had. The biggest realization I had from this pathworking was that I needed to come back to reality and stop trying to escape. I needed to descend back into reality. That one of the biggest reasons my magick wasn’t working was because I was just living in a fantasy world in my head. But this journey back into reality was hard and painful because there was a reason I had escaped. I had to heal my body and mind to be able to be present again.
I started this journey being sick enough I had a hard time keeping a part time job. And now three years later I’m going for a leadership position at my work, I have friends, and my health is much better.
While many other entities came and helped me along the way, Samyaza was the one that gave the direction to start running in. I want my practice to be about connecting to the physical realm and how spiritual interconnects together with it. Rather than using spirituality as an escape.
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So I’ve known for awhile that I’m called to work with Amaymon on my path. I’ve reached out to Amaymon before but yesterday and today I’ve expressed wanting to begin a serious working relationship with him.
I know my work with him is going to be heavily on wealth and career. I’ve spent the majority of my spiritual practice up till now working on my mental and physical health and inner growth so that I would strong enough to build something in the physical realm. I think he’s also here to help with finishing my initiations through the Qliphoth and what comes after that.
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I asked Asmodeus for his help with working through some things as I’m going through Ghagiel. As part of the ritual I had lit him a candle when it had burn all the way down I was looking at the wax and realized it had formed into the shape of a certain female part with the wick in the middle of it. Asmodeus’s energy can be very playful at times for me so this was very Asmodeus energy for me.
I wanted to put this here to remind myself of the even little physical signs I get as I’m working the spirits showing their presence even when I doubt myself.
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With the full moon in Capricorn coming up I’ve been working more with Amaymon. After going we discussed the work I wanted to do with him, I asked what offerings he would like in return. He said “do the work” and I asked him if he didn’t want any offerings how I could keep a connection to him. I saw a picture of a black stone bracelet and remembered one that I had. This is my devotional offering to Amaymon and the work head of me:
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I use to be so easily taken advantage of by both humans and spirits. A lot of that was because I myself just can’t really comprehend being predatorial. And I’ve had to wake up and realize that’s not how everyone is. I have to protect myself and even more so with spirits. I’ve had spirits try to convince me they didn’t want me to know they weren’t so and so entity because I wouldn’t have wanted to have then around. Like please! I love having companion spirits. I don’t care if you’re a god or not. And then they try to make me feel bad for them as if they don’t know how I am. If you want to build a relationship with me then build one. But a relationship built off of lies is like a sand castle by sea. I know those spirits just wanted my energy and attention to feed them. They cared for nothing else than that. That’s why they’d try any tactic they could think of once I had woken up to their lies to push me back into the dark. Looking back now it just really pisses me off I ever let myself fall the deception. My only wish is that if it’s possible for them to grow out of just being parasites then I hope they can become better.
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Due to my living situation I can’t currently safely have altars out. So instead I’ve create Pinterest boards that have images that embody the spirit I’m working with, as I know them at least. One of the ones I have most developed is Azazel’s:
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I am trying to put myself out more socially and I have some events coming up where I want to try to meet some new people. So, I’ve been flipping through Geotia Pathworkings to see if any of descriptions of the things the spirits could help with might stand out to me. I came to Duke Sallos and it said he could make your aura captivating so that people, even strangers, will want to be near you. I have also read in multiple places he is great for helping build good relationships of all kinds.
Last night I did the pathworking in the book with Sallos. I asked that he “make my aura captivating so I can make more friends”. Friday I can see if I notice any difference in how people react to me but I also realize the results might need more time to take effect. There are probably things I need to work through or alchemize in order for me to be authentically more attractive to others, even as just a friend.
As I’m entering Thaumiel I’m so proud of myself because I started this whole journey having so much self hatred and being so easily taken advantage of. And today I realized I’m no longer externalizing my value system and self worth, even when it comes to the gods. Now I’m trying to find that balance between being a very individualized person and living in society. How do I want to approach that? What does balance look like in my life? I’m beginning to integrate all the parts and pieces of myself back together, but, instead of doing it from the stance of “who am I suppose to be or allowed to be”, I’m doing it from a place of “who do I want to be”.
As for my pathworking with Sallos, I was shocked how fast the effects started to take. I work around a lot of people and I’ve noticed people are talking longer and having deeper conversations with me. I feel so much calmer and grounded in social situations. Sadly, the event Friday didn’t really lead to any opportunities to talk to new people but I have other events coming up that should allow for such opportunities.
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I was able finally overcome one of the big things I wanted Asmodeus’s help with. I’ve been dealing with this since I was young and I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be able to break free.
I think pathworking is becoming my new favorite method of working with demons. It’s the one that gets me the best and fastest results so far.
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One of the biggest changes in my practice I’ve been trying to adjust to is accepting spirits that aren’t known or recorded into my practice. This has been hard for me because I’m so wary of imposters and parasites.
But I realized not disrespectful to ask them to prove themselves to me before I trust them. They understand the danger and why I’m asking this. And if they have come to teach me or help me with something because they want to, then they will. An entity that is trying to take my energy is going to get upset when I expect them to back up their claims with actions.
I’ve had this happen recently where an entity told me they wanted to help me work through something and then they just did because that’s why they showed up. And it’s really changed my perspective on working with unrecorded entities.
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I’ve seen other people mention this too but I think Sallos is not just about romantic love but also about self-love.
I recently added dice as a way to do divination. Originally I was just using it to get a quick yes or no answer. I started by saying yes and no to see if which one aligned with odd numbers and which the even. But I noticed that when I would ask a question a couple times it would give me the same number many times. So now I’m realizing that’s significant too.
I’m realizing I have to completely reevaluate everything I was planning to do my practice after I finished initiating through the Qliphoth. So much of what I originally had planned was based off of what I thought I needed to do or achieve in order to be a successful magick practitioner instead of aligning my definition of success with my ability to do my true will.
One big change I’m making is instead of money magick I want to focus on magick to brings me the resources and knowledge for me to start doing the things I want to do.
Because a lot of my work in the physical realm is going to be about plants, gardening, and permaculture, I want to reach out to the Watcher Araqiel who teaches about the signs of the earth. I’m curious if this would be like botany and other knowledge which would help me in my endeavors.
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I really like this servitor
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