Okay so I’ve backspaced this at least 4 times and have started over. Just dont know how to word it most of it. I’m just going to say plain and simple what’s been going on. So if theres any grammatical errors or it just doesnt flow right, I’m sorry. I’d just really like to know if this is a normal thing that goes on or not and how I should approach this.
I’m not sure when exactly it began… I want to say the past month or two. I dont know what to think about it or how to go about dealing with it so I’ve ignored it.
I’ve been having dreams of corpses almost every night. A few of them repeat. The one that started most recently is a dream about a talking skull on a stone pedestal with a little plate of oil sitting next to it. The skull comes to life and begins speaking to me after I rub the oil on its forehead. I remember it had a few herbs and an orange rind. I’m not sure if that’s an actual component of necromancy or not but I believe I’ve heard someone say something about necromancy oil before.
Another dream that repeats is a ballroom full of dancing people, but the people are corpses dressed in Victorian era clothes.
And if I’m not having dreams like these I’m having some other nightmarish images play before my eyes. But surprisingly they dont scare me. I think that disturbs me more than the dreams themselves.
The other week my mother tried waking me up, and I tend to talk in my sleep. She said she asked me a question. I dont remember what it was but she told me my reply was “Oh just something gruesome.”
Next I started to feel that I was/am dead. Its such a stupid thing when I say it outloud or write it out but, I find that subconsciously I’ve been reminding myself that I am dead, but have to pretend I’m not so no one finds out. Wtf? And similar random little thoughts pop into my head like “Oh good, I havent started to smell like a corpse yet.” It’s like my brain just starts thinking that way on it’s own and I catch myself. Or I’ll just be sitting there with death on my mind just replaying over and over the dreams I had from the night before. I dont mean to… but it just happens on it’s own. I’m sure I’m not really like this… but maybe the dreams have been somehow affecting the way my mind functions even when I’m awake.
I began getting visits from Hecate. I’ve never spoken with her before but her sigil flashed in front of my eyes. I didnt recognize it, so I had to Google it.
“Sigil with a trident and crescent moon”. And there it was. It wasnt exact but it was so similar. I decided to read up on her and found out she has a lot to do with Necromancy. So then I started drawing the connection with what I’ve been experiences with the dreams.
So fast forward to just this past week… and I’ve found I’ve become extremely sensitive to cemeteries and graveyards. On my way to school theres this old cemetery on a hill. It used to be out in the open but it’s been years since they’ve built houses around it. All that’s visible now is the old rusting iron gate leading up to that steep hill.
I’d almost forgotten about it until I was driving to class on Monday. As I drove past it… all the hair in my arms and the back of my neck stood up and I have no idea what came over me but this feeling of pure pleasure and energy came rushing throughout my whole body. It felt like my whole body was pulsating.
The feeling slowly faded as I passed by.
And the next day, Tuesday, when I was again driving to class… I felt the presence of my father. He passed away when I was 4. I cant explain it but I could just feel him there. And the next song that came onto shuffle was Candour by Neck Deep, which is a song that sounds like its dedicated to a father who passed away.
The experience was honestly too profound to get into. All I can say was that I missed him and it felt like actually getting a visit from him. It was nice.
And finally on my list of “odd experiences” from these recent days I’ve been having visions of a crescent blood red moon since last Friday, and I come to find out that there is supposed to be a blood moon THIS Friday.
I could really use some guidance here on how to proceed with learning necromancy or whether I should or not. I feel kinda lost.