Not necessarily a hugely bad thing. At least you could take away from that conversation that a relationship was something on his mind.
I might be in a small minority of people saying the following (as generally magic works best with an open pathway/path of least resistance), but you should not compromise your values if you want a relationship with him and he is asking for something purely physical. I was in a similar situation (working with a dude who broke things off with me, I wanted him back); he would and still occasionally does try and invite me over just for sex. I don’t want him any longer, but even when I did, I was adamant about not just sleeping with him, “no strings attached”. Always turned him down and told him he could ask me on a date if he wanted to spend time with me. Because that wasn’t what I wanted – a purely physical relationship – and I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I was risking more heartache with no clear progression, hoping it would lead to us getting back together but being uncertain.
It’s ok to take time apart and give things room to shift around and for him to miss you, if you still want him. He’s not going anywhere.
Anyway in my case I used Hargrove’s Demons of Wrath to make him feel intense regret for how he treated me, and a ritual from “Practical Djinn Magick” to make him unpopular. Later I did a cord-cutting ritual with Hekate. You have all the time in the world and plenty of options.
I’ve used that spell in the past. It’s one of the ones that I never got feedback on so I have no idea if it worked. But, by day 3 my emotions felt way better about it all.
I think you absolutely did the correct thing with that guy. I’m not saying a purely physical relationship is something bad: But if it’s something you’re not comfortable with, you shouldn’t accept it.
In my case, I have told him for weeks the same: I’m not interested on sex. We have been trying to repair our relationship (as we work together and we’re friends), and he has been saying how scared he’s of losing me, how uncanny is how drawn we are to each other… If I insist I don’t want only sex, we’re trying to repair our relationship and he’s scared of me leaving the company… is it normal that he convinces me to have sex and then he tells me he doesn’t want a relationship afterwards?!? I feel manipulated, and what hurts me most is that apparently he doesn’t value our friendship enough as to keep his pants up.
You say he’s not going anywhere and I hear you… the point is, he’s religious in a weird kind of way (Muslim from Africa) and each time is something different: From being all over the place about me, to trying to make me be more Muslim (I don’t practice at all). And now he kind of hints at that he should marry someone he hasn’t had sex with; he tries to find the way to receive blessing from God, which for me is laughable… But he’s still trying to have fun with me?! From a very normal intelligent person I see more and more a hypocrite fanatic. So I’m working against the clock because probably he’s looking for someone to marry already.
I honestly don’t think I want a relationship with him anymore. Not with the person I’m seeing now, that has nothing to do with the awesome guy I started dating (and that I still see on him from time to time). But I want for him to suffer some consequences. There’s one specific girl that I’m afraid he could want to marry (much younger than him and super religious), that would even threaten my work, so I want to focus on breaking all and any contact there. I would love to avoid her coming to this country and for him to have a fallout with her family.
I have to confess that I spend a lot of time reading and unsure about what spirits to use… Would Andras or GL be too blood-thirsty? Would Belial help me take her out of our life? Raum to take away his reputation and dignities so that he feels some consequences… I’m very much for layered works so probably go that way.
Did the spells in Demons of Wrath and Practical Djinn Magick work for you? I’m living in a country where those things are illegal (expat here) and have tried to get books through kindle, to no avail. Found DoM for free, read about a curse on free downloads. Tbh I think those things are on the mind more than anything else, but maybe is the explanation of why they didn’t work for me I think I’ll do sigil gazing etc.
I would recommend Cimeries. It’s said he “rules over all spirits in Africa”, and while I don’t necessarily take that for gospel, it could give you a tenuous tie if this man or the other woman is of African origin. You might be able to plague him with ancestral/land spirits to give him nightmares, omens, and disrupt his plans.
Cimeries is also said to help the practitioner “cross large bodies of water quickly and with ease”, to help find things, and to remove subconscious fears. Flipping those on its head, he could be useful in making sure your love rival stays put in where she is, and/or finds a more suitable match for herself (or finds a reason to hate your guy, as I am not certain Cimeries specialises in love spells). Can also ask him to remove any fears and blockages you have about this situation, and/or to instil limiting beliefs in the man or his love rival about each other.
I believe some, if not all, the pirated copies of DoM have incorrect and therefore useless/impotent seals for the demons and ruling Shem angels. You may have more luck simply meditating and using his Goetic seal and/or enn to contact him, or using the “simple English demonic evocation guide” by Lady_Eva (search the forum for it).
Idk about normal, but it’s certainly manipulative. I’m a big advocate for cutting someone out of your life, even if it’s just temporarily, while you work on changing situations with magick – for love-related work anyway. Again, probably contrary to what most practitioners will say about casting rituals and then doing everything you can irl to help the results manifest, I think it’s easier when you give things room to breathe without the “hostile observer” effect of being around them and having to react to potentially negative situations that might occur. So don’t be afraid to avoid him at work and stop answering his calls and messages.
I think I’ll do sigil gazing etc.