@Jnomadik Remember that her higher self is there for her not you. They will fuck you up beyond belief if you aren’t trying to better their incarnations’ life. You have mentioned multiple times that your will is stronger and therefore you can just “will” things into existence or “believe” things into existence. Ignoring the fact that you clearly have a very weak will right now, the individuals who actually can just will things into existence and override others’ will are incredibly powerful and you have probably never met one in your entire life.
You are wildly out of your depth my friend. You don’t appear to know very much at all even though you speak as though you are a master. Please humble yourself and recognize how little you know. I know nothing in comparison to how much some here know but even then I know leagues more than you. That isn’t to show off how cool I am. I’m trying to give you a peek into just how out of your depth you are. If you decide what I’m saying sounds plausible then please search the forum for basics of magic. Mulberry has an exquisite couple of topics that consolidate alot of basic posts that will have linked at the end of my reply.
Until you begin to change in some way this will be my last post. I will not Help you circumvent this issue. You need to work on this before anything else in my opinion.
Once you look at these tutorials and put at least some of them into action maybe then you can look at actually performing magic but right now you are at risk of hurting yourself if you do that. I wish you all the success in the world but it starts with you.