Do you ever think maybe going to church and being religious is better than all this?

Yeah that’s likely why. It could be Belial, it could be an impostor, it could be anything else really. Not to say it’s not Belial because some people have similar experiences, but it could really be anything.

You should start on spiritual hygiene first and work on cleansing completely, banishing everything and starting from scratch. I’d also suggest starting with a more simpler approach to your magick just until you regain your footing, maybe working with chaos magick and then slowly easing back into working with spirits.
This thread has good info:

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