Do you choose the path or does the path choose you?

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Over the years I’ve developed a strong affiliation and connection with two particular gods/deities. Hecate & Lucifer. The story of how and why isn’t important. For whatever reason they’ve been the main guides on my journey down the left hand path.

There’s been a lot of challenges along the way, particularly with my own resistance towards working with so called “darker” beings. Whether it’s cultural, ideological or religious programming at play the truth is that my experience swings ans sways between embracing the left hand path and then completely rebelling against it. Convincing myself that witchcraft and anything demonic is inherently “bad” and can only lead to further problems.

At the absolute pinnacle of this I even had a moment where I completely renounced and seperated myself from this. I called out to “god”, prayed to jesus and prayed to remove any and all connection to demons or beings of darkness (including lucifer). I believed that this was my free will and choice.

This seemed to work for a little while but eventually, always it feels like these forces come back into my field of awareness, pulling me towards them and their energy, their path. It actually feels like no matter what I do something greater than me is moving me in this direction. It’s like trying to swim against the current of a flowing river, eventually the current wins.

So I ask myself time and time again, do I choose to work with these gods or do they choose? How much of a “choice” do I actually have? I’m a believer in free will but this just feels like it’s written. Almost like some part of my soul is destined to follow this path whether I like it or not.

I’m curious to hear of others experiences/thoughts on this…

Many thanks.

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I think it’s more related to what energies and beings we’re naturally aligned to and whose energies we’re more like, but beyond that I also feel as if it’s about who is actually willing to learn from these beings. In a sense, I do feel like they “choose” us for the path if they feel we’re willing to learn and dedicated, but it’s also our own free will and choice that makes it happen.

I myself have never been able to find comfort in the idea of religion ever since a child and when I was younger I almost hated myself for it due to all the societal programming, as I grew older with the help of the infernals it’s something I’m proud and accepting of. Early on I’d also have desires to go back but it was always as if something deep within me was calling me back to the path, telling me not to submit. From my UPG it seems to be related to one of my ancestral spirits and also certain things done in past lives.

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What is choice? At the one pole is a Chaos magician who can choose any deity and change his choice at any time. Another pole is to take ideology because of place of birth, family, etc.

I choose the dark side. But is it my own or something transpersonal? I don’t know. And I’m not going to change it even if it would be baneful for me. Try to control – yes, exorcise – never.

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From my experience, I was always given a choice. I wasn’t growing up in religious family so I could freely explore and I noticed from very early years I took great interest and felt “like home” with more darker forces. Eventually, it was revealed to me it was Satan all along, calling me and waiting. When I finally ceremonially devoted myself to Him, all fell in place. But before that it was a roller coaster, of me trying to explore many religions, deities, even christianity. All in all, I always went back to Satan, in one way or another. Do I feel steered, controlled? Not in any way. At every point of my spiritual journey I never felt pressure, never felt resigned as is “oh well, fine”. It’s like He let me slowly walk towards Him because He knew I was His from the very start, may sound pretentious but like the chosen one to follow His path.

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In my experience, you resonate with what you resonate with. Various entities can send signs and invite you to work with them, but there is zero obligation to accept the invitation.

Having said that if an energy resonates with you that well, it may be the most relevant and beneficial path for you anyway. But there’s a saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.” … Just because it would probably work out for you doesn’t mean you can’t do your own thing.

Personally, and being the curmudgeon that I am, this alone might make me resist a particular route, just because I have too much Belial in me to accept anything as “written”. I also believe in free will, and I see reality as an overlapping ocean of energy flows like currents of water interacting and merging and unmerging each from the other.

So you can resonate with and hence get swept into in a very strong current that it’s hard to swim against. And this this would feel pretty firmly set as a path you have to follow. It’s often more effort than it’s worth to figure out hw to get out of it.

That doesn’t make it’s end point inevitable, but it does make it very likely, unless you do something drastic to completely change up your energy so that you no longer resonate and then the current peters out for you. in the analogy of ocean currents this would be like swimming perpendicularly out sideways from the current. In reality, there’s thousands of currents, overlapping, with different contexts and energies and it’s all very complicated, but that’s the gist.

So this is the tricky bit. When you re being affected by current, because you resonate with it’s energy, it’s almost impossible to tell if the current is leading you or you are choosing to swim with the current. You are connected and together at this point. This is great when you are consciously - intellectually - very clear this is what you want, but difficult when not all of your aspects are aligned. Then you get inner conflict and you question yourself.

So it comes back again to the mages tenet: “know thyself” - understand what the various parts of your psyche are to know why you have mixed emotions about something, and then it’s easier to retrain the unaligned parts of your psyche to vibe with the rest of you.

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Thankyou that’s a very insightful response ! :blush:

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