I’ve had some weird glitches in the matrix experiences, and I feel I’m at some crossroads in my life and my magical path. I’ve helped and got helped by someone that has embraced a different perspective than what I have in my heart. I feel I’m being pulled into a path that opens many doors to me, but the thing is that I don’t think I want to go towards those portals/timelines. I’ve thought about what I value in my life and ascension path, and it is not what I believe Belial can teach or give me, or maybe I don’t see the bigger picture yet, I don’t know.
Because of this and some recent strange demonic experiences, I thought it would be a good idea to invoke Archangel Michael, who represents justice, strength, and peace. I don’t know him well, but I know he is great. I summoned Michael with his ancient sigil, but when I tried to see his sigil in my mind, it was hard to see. Then Belial’s sigil kept coming up, much more precise and golden. I then felt that maybe I should not have tried to call Michael to my life.
I started reading about these energies on the forum, and it seems like it doesn’t have to be a problem with these two. Belial is someone I’m very connected to on a soul level, but it is also that I’m worried about because I feel pulled into a current that I don’t wholly resonate with within my heart. Sure I respect the existence of the pagan deities and their epoch, but I don’t feel at home there. I also love and am grateful for the trials and hardships Belial put me through to make me stronger, but I still wonder what my most meaningful and joyful purpose is. I feel more drawn to the peaceful authority and power that comes with the Holy Spirit and serving the highest of Elohim, pure Michael energy. Belial is a god of the earth and a descended master, and the dark deities/goddesses behind him seem to want to commune with me, and I got that confirmation from someone who works closely with them. One of the creepy things that came to my mind was the art of sacrifice, and in my mind, I immediately got an image of Elizabeth Shaw in Alien covenant, where she is a black-goo alien sacrificed. Then I went to my phone, and the first video recommended was that exact picture. WTF. Someone will say sacrifice doesn’t have to be literal like that; I know all of that, and nothing from my old life is left, and I’m okay with that. I’m just a bit concerned that I’ve gotten myself into a path that I or someone else sooner or later will end up dead or ritually sacrificed. I refuse to be bound or under any demi-god or deity other than the Holy Spirit.
I just read someone said that calling upon an archangel is a weakness. My intention was not to hide, only for guidance and peace. What should I do if I have disrespected Belial because of this? He has hinted about vampirism and becoming a vampire under him, which I refuse. I’m not at war, but I’m not too fond of the sense of someone’s ownership over me when my heart is not there anymore, and that is also thanks to him. I feel he inherently he is a trickster god that I can never wholly trust, which is required for me to continue. That was part of the last trial that crushed me, and I made it through, but I’m not the same anymore. Whatever powers you’ll gain in LHP is not even a comparison, or you’ll achieve the same and 10-fold more by being a vessel of the highest god, and with that, I don’t mean the ‘demiurge.’