I did the magick thing
This is an update to this post. Usually I would put this into my journal but it fits here really well so I’ll probably just cross-reference it.
Anyway…
The initial post is now a bit more than a year old and Lucifer delivered. As I already explained in this post I studied my ass off to be accepted into university in Austria (for psychology). Since about 1 1/2 months now Im studying the subject I wanted to study all my life.
I think Im so overwhelmed with joy that I still cant really grasp it yet. So this post might sound way more shallow than how important this actually is for me.
Some years back I was truely at the worst part of my life (yet. Well, fingers crossed it’ll stay the worst part). I wasnt only heavily depressed, I was also psychotic and completely severed from any sort of social interaction. My mental health was so bad that when I finally entered a mental health hospital years later (where I was already doing WAY better than before) I scored 56 points on a depression test. To put that into perspective that test considered you slightly depressed at 15-20 points and heavily depressed at 30.
Suffice to say I thought more than once a day about ending my life and I came really really close.
Around that darkest time of my life I also found Lucifer (again). I had an interest in him in my youth already but the theistic satanic material I came across back then was stupid and I didnt wanna follow that crap. Likewise the atheistic Lavey type thing sounded weird and boring too, so I decider Lucifer was a nice idea but nothing more.
When I found him again I was really desperate and I needed some sort of structure in my life. Atheism had only brought me misery and despair, Christianity had only angered me with its illogical assertions and the asian buddhist type stuff just isnt really my thing. So Lucifer it was.
From that point onwards I delved into loads of material about Satanism, Luciferianism, everything occult, blood offerings, curses, anti-christian symbolism and music…basically everything that everyone ever told me was the wrong path. And since I did that my life became progressively better and better.
It didnt happen overnight, there were lots of setbacks, Im still sceptical or sometimes even downright furious about certain aspects of my path, but I finally found a way.
All of this is to say that Lucifer has been with me for YEARS. He has been with me at my lowest, endured my scepticism, my criticism and quite possibly a lot of unfairness. Yet he’s still here and helped me come one step closer to my life goal: becoming a therapist and exploring the human psyche as much as possible.
I love you Lucifer