After a long time in depression I have finally reached a point where I decently function inthe real world again. I not only have a job now but I also applied to become a psychology student. Due to not having stunning grades and probably lots of applications I didnt get a spot.
When I received the message that my application had been denied I (after the initial shock wore off a bit) got up and simply strolled along back and forth in our backyard.
I then called out to Lucifer in my mind multiple times. I entered what I would call a trance state where I got a tunnel vision and felt slightly out of this world. I then humbly but firmly requested Lucifer to help me reach this goal of becoming a psychologist.
I had no visions or clair experiences or anything of that nature, but for the first time I afterwards felt like I ‘did it right this time’.
Usually when I made requests they (while being genuine) were riddled by doubt during and after the calling out, but this time not so much. Sure there is a little doubt in the back of my mind as always but really far less than usual.
Since Im still decently new to this Im curious if you guys think that this was a genuine request/act of magick.
It’s that inner knowing where there is no room for doubt, and sure you can be aware of the possibility of it going otherwise because that’s what life teaches us so damn well but when you have that inner knowing, it’s different and you can feel it and you become aware of the different context and texture to the thoughts surrounding the issue, like you are in charge of this.
I think this might be what some people call personal magick, with or without asking a named spirit you locked into your thoughts and excluded everything else. It’s nice when that happens. It’s also how things get invented.
I did the magick thing
This is an update to this post. Usually I would put this into my journal but it fits here really well so I’ll probably just cross-reference it.
Anyway…
The initial post is now a bit more than a year old and Lucifer delivered. As I already explained in this post I studied my ass off to be accepted into university in Austria (for psychology). Since about 1 1/2 months now Im studying the subject I wanted to study all my life.
I think Im so overwhelmed with joy that I still cant really grasp it yet. So this post might sound way more shallow than how important this actually is for me.
Some years back I was truely at the worst part of my life (yet. Well, fingers crossed it’ll stay the worst part). I wasnt only heavily depressed, I was also psychotic and completely severed from any sort of social interaction. My mental health was so bad that when I finally entered a mental health hospital years later (where I was already doing WAY better than before) I scored 56 points on a depression test. To put that into perspective that test considered you slightly depressed at 15-20 points and heavily depressed at 30.
Suffice to say I thought more than once a day about ending my life and I came really really close.
Around that darkest time of my life I also found Lucifer (again). I had an interest in him in my youth already but the theistic satanic material I came across back then was stupid and I didnt wanna follow that crap. Likewise the atheistic Lavey type thing sounded weird and boring too, so I decider Lucifer was a nice idea but nothing more.
When I found him again I was really desperate and I needed some sort of structure in my life. Atheism had only brought me misery and despair, Christianity had only angered me with its illogical assertions and the asian buddhist type stuff just isnt really my thing. So Lucifer it was.
From that point onwards I delved into loads of material about Satanism, Luciferianism, everything occult, blood offerings, curses, anti-christian symbolism and music…basically everything that everyone ever told me was the wrong path. And since I did that my life became progressively better and better.
It didnt happen overnight, there were lots of setbacks, Im still sceptical or sometimes even downright furious about certain aspects of my path, but I finally found a way.
All of this is to say that Lucifer has been with me for YEARS. He has been with me at my lowest, endured my scepticism, my criticism and quite possibly a lot of unfairness. Yet he’s still here and helped me come one step closer to my life goal: becoming a therapist and exploring the human psyche as much as possible.
I love you Lucifer
